A bit of relief

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So today, I got a chance to go to my 'doctor' well...not really, its this clinic that basically lets me get my supplies and stuff..And I thought you could go there for a check up...well..apparently its by appointment only..and my appointment is November 24th...

Good to know they care...heh..

So! I needed to know whats wrong with me..with all these weird pains, and stuff..So I went to the ER again!! YaY mega bills!!

And there is nothing wrong me...no liver disease, no kidney problems, no hepititis or anything like that, WHEWWWWW... such a relief to know what is not wrong with me..

BUT!?! what IS wrong with me?? stress :( apparently I'm stressed to the max, my resting blood pressure is like 170/110 kinda freaked the docs out, and me too.. But they're pretty positive its just extrememe stress, mixed with adjusting to the insulin and stuff.. good to know, finally..that I am gunna be ok.

I just need to relax, but how does one relax when your whole world is crashing down upon ya..not just the diabetes.

I was mega stressed before that, with work and all that.. the diabetes just kinda toppled things over a bit..

in fact, the diabetes has made it worse, I'm about to lose my job, get evicted cause my roomie decided to not pay the last 2 months rent, hmm...wonder why?? (though I did just move back into my parents...ahh*sigh-of-relief*)

But now, its me time..I think its time to finally take a moment, say...screw the world, and just chill..

But how do you chill when you've spent the last 2 years slowly dying with diabetes and working yo ■■■ OFF trying to stay up in the game.

Maybe some music will help? or a good bath...

dont know really...just know that now I have some time to myself, and Its time to actually make that time for ME.

things are looking up....

...

.....slowly...but surely, I now believe things'll get better..finally..

--Johnny Crouton

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One suggestion Johnnie is to do volunteer work in a philanthropic organization that might interest you.

Sometimes we get a little too focused on our selves. Helping others you help yourself. You have a right to have a lot on your mind but you need a relief valve of some sort.

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funny I was thinking about you today and wondering how you were doing. I have high blood pressure myself, and recent life events for me have made it go bonkers. I just started a new bp med today. A couple of ideas just off the top of my head:
a nice walk outside, in a park, alone or with a friend
take 3 deep breaths in a row. try it!
Tazo “Calm” tea - I think I’ll have some now.
relaxing music
my neighbor who’s an EMT says when I get a panic attack to put a blue ice on my chest and lie down. It works good too
personally, I sew and quilt for relaxation
Pauly’s right about helping others

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MMmm I love Tazo teas…I think I might try that ^,^…
and there is this church down the street my roomie had to do community service at, I’ve been considering lately going there and doing just that, some volunteer work :smiley:

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One comment I thought of when I read this: don’t look at diabetes as a bad thing. Now that you have it, you are going to get so much more in touch with your body than you ever thought possible…and if you can manage it well, you might end up being healthier than alot of non-diabetics out there. Forgive me if you’ve had it a long time–I didn’t read your earlier posts–but that’s my own personal philosophy. That and I guess I borrow from Buddhism and some Chinese religions in that I believe what I do will have no effect on the world, and that what happens is already going to happen, so I try to live without fear of what’s coming next. Also, everyone dies one day, and you can’t live your life being afraid of dying. That’s not living!

Note that I’m not saying don’t put effort or care into taking care of your condition, just don’t stress over it. It’s a little hard but that mindset helps alot. Even though I test like 15 times a day and make micro adjustments with my pump, I usually forget I am diabetic. It doesn’t define who I am–it’s just this thing I’m taking care of as I go about my day (maybe like a needy pet? lol!) I’ve handled it since I was 3 and I’m nearly 23 now…blink blink oops that’s more than the 17 years I’ve been saying.

Also, once you figure everything out, you won’t really have to live too much different.You can eat what you want if you compensate; exercise is good for anyone (and if you do it enough it has the side effect of making you sexy and thus even makes others jealous) and you’ll have the self confidence that comes from knowing life and death. Many people don’t get that, don’t deal with health hardships, don’t appreciate life properly. I look at other kids my age and see why adults are disappointed in my generation. They just have no idea (forgive my stereotyping–not everyone is like this of course, but many are) that the things they take for granted I have to walk 2 miles through the snow for, uphill both ways. It makes me feel like a stronger person who can do anything I put my mind to do.

Just some thoughts! Best of luck getting the blood pressure down. I had mine a bit high about a year ago, and now I’ve dropped to ideal regular non-diabetic blood pressure with no explanation…perhaps because I took a summer off school spent with my fiance and now my teachers are better? hehe. Laughter rocks too–watch some Simpsons, some ‘the Office’, etc. Find funny people and make 'em your friends. Instead of stressing when a bunch of problems present themselves, look for the funny side of it. I mean that humor that comes with having a condition that’s like tending a newborn, while dealing with rent issues, having a partner in another country where both of you have problems so you can’t immigrate (my situation), dealing with school or work, being really poor and then having to pay a deductible on insulin–and damn there goes your food money! what the heck is the insulin for then, huh?, etc. I have a bunch of other problems, family-related (we are tight knit–my mom is type 1 too–but my father has a backstory of employment injustice on supreme court proportions)…sometimes I just take a minute to laugh as everything piles up. Then I figure out what worry boxes the problems fit into.

Oh, also: hobbies help. Painting? Writing? Something creative? I do lots of stuff–reading, writing, painting, drawing, model horses/action figures, piano and singing. It relieves stress and also you can sort of go into idle mode as you work, and often you’ll think about your problems with a sort of detached feeling…and solutions pop up! If you can’t tell, I philosophize alot.

Alright I’ll get off the soapbox! Hope something I said was vaguely helpful!! =D

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Try to do what makes “You” happy…hobby music is GOOD for the soul! :slight_smile: Help others? You bet. Make time for you, find yourself and what is new out in the world. I know you love tattoos right? Maybe the next job can be in a Tattoo Parlor? Discounts? Take care of yourself. Thinking about you and wishing you some peace.