"Acceptance"

I tend to think of my diabetes as a ‘room mate’ in my metabolic system. I can either learn to live with my room mate peaceably (do what I need for good control), or I can fight with it and end up hating where I live (my body). And I make sure I don’t get too stressed out about socks left on the floor or a dirty dish or two in the sink.

That’s a great attitude Maureen to have …your last sentence …thanks

I am not sure if acceptance is the right word. I’m still fairly new to this (2008 onset). I had initially been misdiagnosed as a T2 and then get extremely sick before being properly diagnosed as a T1. Because I had gotten so sick and been that way for so long, insulin felt like rocket fuel. So, in some ways learning I was T1 was a welcome relief to what I had been enduring. I also consider myself fortunate in that I was 45 when diabetes hit me. I had the privilege of living half of my life without the disease. Today,as I learn more about my the disease and understand how it effects me, what works and doesn’t work, etc., I dont think I “accept it” per se. But I do own it. I am accountable to it. Diabetes factors into my everyday and into most of my personal choices. I am responsible to handle it as best I can. But I will not accept that there isnt a better day coming. I believe a cure is coming. I just hope that I will be around to see that happen – and then --if not in time for me – maybe the generation after. It’s time for a cure. Beyond time.

I still have not hit the point of acceptance yet. I have watched my mom struggle with diabetes and she is 40 years in and still has not accepted it. I want to accept this more than anything, but I just can’t seem to. I know I can live a good, full life with it, but I just won’t let myself. I feel so abnormal most of the time. And I’m facing many stuggles because of it. Maybe someday I will get to the point of acceptance, but right now I am far from it.

We have a saying at our house, “It is what it is, and it’s not what it’s not,” which we apply to our thinking about D. I guess that means we’ve accepted it because it is what is. Plus (and I know this can be an unpopular thing to say here at Tu) I can think of a lot of things that might have happened to my child that I consider to be even less desireable.

The first time we went to the endo’s office, which is in a large building devoted exclusively to children’s medicine, I looked at the directory. There was palliative care on this list, and two doctors specializing in it. Palliative care is the relief of extreme pain and is often associated with end-of-life issues. I nearly wept with gratitude that I wasn’t going to that office with my beloved child.

Nice Cheryl. I’m with you.

I’ve had type 1 for 16 years and I did go through a major stage of grief for years (teenage/early 20’s) and now I feel I’ve accepted it. This has helped me get past these negative feelings that don’t help with day to day activities-all of which for me equal diabetes management. I feel so much better than I used to…

This doesn’t mean I don’t have crying spurts or pitty parties, it just means that I love life, and spend my energy doing all I can with it, without being a victim.

Good morning! I think what you described here is normal for anyone with a disease like ours. I have had times of good control and those lazy times. I have been on the pump for about 3 years and really love that, since it minimizes the work,although you do have to dose for every little thing you put in your mouth. I learned that the hard way…after an HbA1C of 9.3!
The way I get through it is this: The disease my family is plagued with is cancer. We’ve had every type you can think of and I have lost cousins waaay too young. If Diabetes is my cross to bear, then I get down on my knees and thank God every morning. It IS manageable, and I needn’t die from it. Fun? Nope. Certainly not, but do-able…
Sue T.

I’ve never regretted my D for a minute, even after 50 years. It’s never been a bother or a burden or a barrier to anything I’ve wanted to do in life. Maybe I’m different, I don’t know. I’m fantastically healthy and happy. D has never gotten in the way of anything I’ve wanted nor has it diminished any happiness in my life. Never. And … as someone who’s spent time in Iraq and Afghanistan and Darfur I know that whatever “hardship” I endure is trivial compared to the suffering and despair countless others face every day. It’s easy to lose perspective but the older I get the more I appreciate all I have, including D. Not sure if that’s acceptance. Whatever it is, I’m at total peace.

Diabetes is something I don’t accept, but like many others here have said, I am resigned to it. I was diagnosed over 18 years ago, at the age of 6. I really don’t remember pre-diabetic life. I grew up with an intense fear of what could happen to me, because I had an aunt who had been T1 since she was 9, and had every complication known to man (she’d had a kidney transplant, retinopathy, a quadruple-bypass, was a doulbe amputee…). Then when I was a late teen/young adult I got tired of being stressed about it and, wanting to be ‘normal’, ignored my D. To the point that I was in DKA about 4 times in 2 years. I was skipping shots (even my Lantus) and not testing more than once a week (and when I did I was always up near 400). I was having to leave class and work often because I was sick - but it didn’t make me want to take care of myself.

It wasn’t until I was very suddenly diagnosed with proliferative diabetic retinopathy that I kicked my butt into gear, got on an insulin pump, and took my A1c down 4% in 3 months. Over the last two years it’s slowly crept back up a few percent.

I am taking much better care of myself again. I am now with someone who helps me deal with the D. My boyfriend is awesome and reminds me gently to check my BG by asking ‘How are your numbers?’. I know he genuinely cares. Even when they’re high and I feel like a failure, he always has a hug and a reassuring ‘It’ll be ok. It can’t always be perfect. I’m proud of you.’ He has made me motivated to continue to care for myself.

I know some people will think it’s ridiculous to rely on someone else to be my motivation to care for myself, but that’s how it is.

So…back to what I said before. I’m resigned to it. I’m also resigned to dying with it. I don’t believe a cure will be found in my lifetime.

I don’t recall ever even thinking about accepting it or not. I divert myself w/ hobbies, rock and roll, girls and getting blasted when I was younger which, while perhaps not recommended by the AMA, was a powerful incentive to keep myself in line, if only so I wouldn’t miss too much of the fun. These days it’s more exercise but that also works. Perhaps it’s sort of denial but it has been very effective for me.

DuckFiabetes’s analogy of diabetes being like a life sentence without parole makes me really sad. I would never try to tell someone how to feel or presume to know how they feel, but I hope that we (the diabetes community, and the world at large) do not just accept “acquiescence.” After all, even criminals get to appeal after sentencing :slight_smile: I like to think of research as an appeal. It will take years, possibly decades, but hopefully one day we will get a solution. I’m not sure I would hold out hope for a pardon from the president/governor of carbs or anything though… To me, acceptance (of anything in life) doesn’t equate with happiness, but rather with peace. And all I can do is genuinely wish the best for everyone here.



On a lighter note, has anyone seen the episode of Monk where he needs a new psychiatrist? If anyone needs an awesome (if a bit morbidly funny) illustration of the five stages of grief, there’s a bit where in the span of a minute, he cycles continuously through the five stages. I couldn’t find it online, but maybe someone else can…

I’m 33+ years in. Some days it’s routine, some days I resent it, other days it makes me angry, often I don’t care either way. Most of the time, I have no choice about doing what I have to do, to the best of my ability at the time. Not perfect by any stretch, but acceptable to me.

My “diabetes mood” depends on what I’m doing and which side of the bed I got out of. Some days it’s just Monday every day. It has, however, led me to become involved in all manner of things diabetes and I’ve made some good friends along the way - learned from some, helped others.

If I’m looking for something good about having any kind of disease, I’ll find it. If I’m really honest with myself, it’s a tedious, relentless, boring, tiresome, routine some days, which often begin to look like Ground Hog Day.

Some days I don’t mind, some I do.

Lives aren’t static, so I assume acceptance (or lack of it) surely must change by degrees, depending on where you are in your life.

Jennifer, I think you have described the norm for most long term diabetics. We go through ups and downs of taking care of our selves. We go through times of being super vigilant, and then again being only so-so. I remember eating M&M’s by the 2 lb bag ful before being diagnosed, and can’t imagine that ‘poof’ one day I had diabetes and the day before I didn’t. So I am thinking it was a miricale I didn’t die…but I didn’t. And now, I work at being diligent in taking my meds, keeping to an exercise program, and again, eating correctly. If that is acceptance than I accept the fact that I have diabetes and it’s going to be with me for life. Do I think they will find a cure? I have my doubts that the pharmacuetical companies will go for that, since it will cause a big hole in their business ---- but let’s hope that bigger things come to play in that area. For now, it’s a matter of taking care of ourselves, doing what we know we have to do, and then living our lives to the fullest. it’s what we can do.

I guess the diagnosis in 1995 was traumatic. I had donated blood that day and suddenly I felt horrible. By evening I knew I had a real problem and I went on the internet to search for clues. It didn’t take long to find that I had all of the symptoms of high sugar. The next morning I went to my doctor and asked her to check for sugar. Confirmation came within minutes. I did three days of pills before starting on insulin.
The first three years went fairly well but the condition got slowly worse. Then I managed to join an experimental program that eventually finished my pancreas off completely. I hope they learned something useful.
Now I’ve been using a pump for several years and getting along fairly well.
Now to answer the OP. I hate this disease. I hate being attached to a pump 24/7. I hate testing. I hate having to count every carb. I do not accept this and I am not content. I don’t seem to be getting over that attitude either. I am not suicidal though so I guess I’ll put up with all of these things I hate until somebody stops stuffing money into their pockets and comes forward with a cure.

i have a problem with acceptance. Because i think my diabetes is a complication of another disease. I do not have antibodies, i do not have insulin resistance… which right away disqualifies me from membership into the normal diabetic classifications. I have lupus, and there are teeny tiny corner cases that are pancreatic in nature… and i have incompetant health care providers who dont know anything about any of that, so im kind of dangling as lada type 2ish, but not really. i have other autoimmune stuff, but not stuff that is usually indicative of diabetes. but that was the first medically significant indication. all of that said, im just tired of trying to figure out whats what. i just want to go on with my life… but i cant.

that was more direct than i think i was expecting, but thanks. What do you do? How do you deal? I just get pissed a lot and get mad and i feel like im not really addressing the real issues at all. I try to find doctors that have experience with comorbidities, but yeah, i hate the idea and the word, and nobody really gets it. I know i am diabetic for a reason other than GAD antibodies, but its not easy to find someone with an understanding of secondary causes.

Thank you Don, you have had so much more to put up with than I have. I now realise I can refuse to let diabetes ruin my life.

thanks, maureen. what a great analogy! i was diagnosed LADA only recently in April. I am far from acceptance. But i’m going to print out what you wrote and post it on my fridge. thanks!

Dear Natalie,

I love your terminology of ‘Type Weird’ and am henceforth using it to describe myself. First diagnosed Type 1 in DKA, then re-diagnosed Type 1b/atypical/idiopathic/ketosis prone Type 2. So I know where you’re coming from being somewhere between 1 and 2! I live my life like a Type 1 except that with severe insulin resistance, I get very poor ‘value for money’ compared to the average Type 1.

I lost (and kept off) 25% of my body weight in the 8 years prior to diagnosis and was 129 pounds/BMI 23 at dx. So don’t let anyone tell you that losing weight will make it go away. Besides, there are loads of thin Type 2s.

Please do keep on truckin’.