As the 15 year anniversary of my diagnosis approaches, I've been thinking about a lot of stuff. Ever since I starting taking care of my bolus', blood sugar checks, and carb counting, my A1c has spiked. I haven't really been taking care of myself and I think I finally figured out why. I'm still in denial. Even after 15 years, I still can't accept the fact that I'm diabetic. I HATE to talk about it and I'm embarrassed to check my blood sugar and such in front of people. I tell myself that if I ignore it, it will go away. Well it doesn't and at my last endo appointment, there was a scare of possible kidney damage. Even though it was because of a bad urine sample, it really hit me. This is my life. Nothing I do can make it go away. Although I'm starting to accept it a little more, I still need help. I have no one to talk to that understands how I feel and no one to help push me into taking care of myself. I mean yeah my family remind/tells me what to do and all that, but it doesn't feel like they're helping. Instead it feels like they are just saying what the doctors told them to say.

I can't keep going on acting like I'm not diabetic. I want and need to be comfortable about talking about it and dealing with it before I go off to college later in the year.

So I guess the point of all my babbling is, What can I do to completely accept the fact that I'm diabetic?

you came to the right place & we are here to help you.
come join our chat room where we all help each other & also have fun.
welcome to this lovely place.

Hi Jessie, you've already hit the first hurdle; Acceptance. Now it's a matter of getting yourself comfortable with dealing with it, and making it a part of your everyday life. As with anything, the more time you spend doing it, the more likely it's going to become second nature, or habitual.

We're here to help wherever we can; we've all been in similar situations. Having the TuD community around has certainly helped me out, and I hope it can do the same for you!

Don't hesitate to reach out if you have any questions, or join us in the chat room if you want to.

I always thought of being diagnosed with diabetes a little like having to die and be reborn. And part of that process is overcoming the grief associated with being diagnosed. Elizabeth Kübler-Ross has a model for the stages of this grief: D'Nial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. I've recognized in myself all of these stages at various times. Reaching acceptance is hard and is something you have to grow into. For some it involves finally telling those around you about your diabetes. For others it is finally choosing on their own to take responsibility for all that diabetes brings to us. It would seem that you have already taken the first step towards acceptance by coming here and posting this blog.

I think you've made great progress by joining Tu and posting this blog. I've had it for a long time, and I know what you're talking about. Being a part of this community has been a lifeline for me, to be surrounded by the many here who totally GET IT. Please join us in chat, we joke around a lot, but if someone wants to talk about anything serious, we are ready to do that too.

I have been type 1 for 10 years, and I was always the same way! I would go days even weeks without checking my blood sugar, I would just eat as I pleased! I also would be afraid of gaining weight so I would keep my sugars high and I would stay skinny! But the past year or so I also had a bit of a scare and really started doing what I am supposed to! I also gained about 50lbs, which I really depressing but I know I am much healthier!

Thank you guys so much! Reading your comments helped me. I'm so glad I found Tu because now I can finally see that I'm really not alone.

I too have been diabetic for 15 yrs. I struggle with this same situation. Now my question is how could I get started towards a new path? What can I don't on stay on it? Any advice guys?

J. what I’ve started doing is just being more open about it. Like checking my blood sugar where people can see it and talking about it more to people and so far it’s helped. If you get off track just take a breathe and get back on. I have struggled but I just keep telling myself that this isn’t going to change over night and it’s the little steps that will lead to big steps. I hope this helps and feel free to message me if needed!