In my last post, I talked about my frustrating morning. Then I thought things were better after lunch, then just to spite me, I go back up again. Not super high. It’s been hanging out at 150 all afternoon. Not incredibly high, but higher than I want. And it’s making me take too much insulin to cover it. If I wasn’t taking all the extra manual boluses, I’m sure I’d be in the 300s by now, the way this day is going.
I’ve already surpassed the total amount of insulin I took yesterday. And it’s not even 6PM yet. I haven’t eaten dinner.
I’M LIVID. Just angry as anything. I want to go off like Christian Bale, only at a physical representation of diabetes. Ha.
I think part of my problem is that I absolutely cannot handle highs with the CGM. I become obsessed. Seeing a high number constantly for hours on end throws me off the deep end. Especially when the trend starts rising MORE an hour after I do a correction bolus.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
You could tell me to just ignore it. But I can’t. It’s driving me crazy.
I’m too obsessed over it. And it’s just a 150. It seems stupid to be this bent out of shape over it; it’s not like I haven’t had my fair share of 300+s. But this sure is a persistent little ■■■■ 150.
The only good thing about my diabetes today is that my CGM has been within 5 points of my meter at just about every check. And I’m pretty sure I’ve checked my BS with my meter at least 15 times today.
Sometimes I think I’m too mental to have a CGM. But now I would go even more insane without it. I’m completely dependent on it. I HAVE to know what my BS is all the time. (Seriously, I get really anxious/panicky when I start a new sensor and don’t have readings for just 2 hours.)
It’s amusing what a change this is to how I was last summer when I would check my BS with my meter once a day and not give a ■■■■ what it said.
What is wrong with me.
Venting helped. And watching the Christian Bale video. Hot crap, that amuses me.