And just went splat! And I haven’t even gone to the dance party yet. You know I try REALLY hard almost all the time to be self-disciplined, and my Flatliner friends know I often do pretty well, but sometimes Gollum just rears up from his spot in the back of my brain and BITES me. Tells me I don’t really have diabetes, and if I do, well, my pancreas will eventually kick in and bring the BG back down by itself. Which it doesn’t.
So I binged yesterday and today – left my pump on, so at least I was getting my basal, but guess what, basal is not enough to bring down a high from carbs. Corrected a couple of times, and when it came to correcting for the 345 in the picture, I had to FORCE myself to do it. Yup, Natalie is psychotic, but only sometimes. So I’m using you folks as a sounding board in order to cry, because I can never cry when I’m alone. Media notwithstanding, I DID NOT CHOOSE this!!! And I’m MAD at it, and I’m throwing a tantrum!
Lots of folks have it a lot worse than I do, but this is MY tantrum – and if I don’t throw it in front of you, my dear, loving friends, then NO ONE knows, and that’s when it REALLY hurts. Hurts bad enough anyway.
Well that explains a lot. When I first looked at your post none of the text was there, just the pic. Your text says it all.
Virtual tantrums just aren’t the same, are they? Go ahead and get angry and mad and everything that goes with it. We understand, because we have done it ourselves.
You took a couple of days off. I’d be pretty pissed off too. Reminds me of the time I ate a bar without checking BG, without bolusing, without caring. One big SO THERE! Oddly enough I didn’t go high, so decided my pancreas had started working again. You’re entitled to a tantrum. Wish I could be there with you so we could have one together.
Hi, just to let you know that Natalie sent me a message offline and she IS doing okay. She has adjusted her insulin and her BG is coming down slowly…she feels well enough to go to her folk dance party.
I just wanted to let you all know so you did not worry.
Hey Natalie
Glad to hear you’re doing better, but I’m still worried about you in the long run. You’ve given lots of great input on here to me and others, and I want for you to be ok. It sounds like you have some other food issues going on, some of which I’m personally very familiar with so don’t hesitate to friend me (if we’re not already friends, I don’t take the whole social media thing to seriously) and send me a message. But most important I encourage you to find a therapist to talk to, one who is familiar with food issues and diabetes issues. Having someone to talk to ongoing will really help
Understand wanting to indulge. Being careful constantly is a drag, but please take insulin to cover food. Are you punishing yourself with highs? We are diabetics, we’ll always be diabetics. No getting around that.
Hey Natalie, wanted to give you warm wishes and hugs on last discussion but I just read it this morning so instead I was going to comment on your page, than I see this discussion. Oh Natalie, you got it tough, just from what we know with your surgery, your constant pain, not forgetting the side affects of Vicodin. I would say easy up on your normal tight control and give yourself break, but since you decided bolusing at all is to much to trouble, I got to say, remember coma. You don’t want to be there again. You are tougher that now. Binging OK for now, not bolusing for it is a trip to ER.
Do you think the Vicodin is playing a big part in your disregard of D? My hubby last month was hit by a car while on his motorcycle, he’s OK but banged up, back to work in two days(UPS driver), doc put him on Vicodin, pain got gradually worse as days went on so he kept taking them. Two weeks later had a wisdom tooth extracted, more pain. Now a month later, about 5 days ago walks up to me, hands me the Rx of Vicodin and says “hide them, but I would like a half a pill once a day for a couple days then I’m threw with them”. Since then he’s been in withdrawals that he says is very unpleasant. Today his brother told him it might last a month. I don’t know if it may be affecting you a similar way, but all top of (or below) everything you have happening to you, diabetes is CONSTANT (that was my word in hand, though it was probably used already by someone else), you have got to give it AT LEAST, a little nod. Please bolus for food, then enjoy a treat. Nate has a treat at least 3x a day, its right after a meal, all of it bolused for. Everyone has different management routines here, but I hope that no ones diabetes makes them feel deprived. Quality of life is very important too. Hugs, glad you went to the dance! Emily
