Depressed beyond belief today!

Type 1 and LADA
41

But your BG won't start "spiking" from chips for like an hour or two. You talk about "symptoms" but the complaints are 1) likely to be largely subjective and 2) are hitting *before* the chips would actually have elevated your BG? Another possibility, is that w/ carb-intensive food like cereal that your BG is running up really high and then crashing so with less frequent tests you "feel like crap" at 120, 2-3 hours later but what happened might be that at 1 hour, the Cheerios had you up to 220 but the large, appropriately carb counted "spike" nosedived thereafter so you get two points in the "normal" range without documentation of the wild ride to "normal"?

I did this *a lot* before I got my pump and, when I'd test a lot and see spikes, I'd knock them down w/ IV R shots that would drop me from 300 to 70 in about 1/2 hour but, of course, necessitate more eating on the back end. Maybe what your experiencing isn't quite that whacky but I dunno what else to recommend other than more testing and consideration of what you are eating. If your ratios are a little bit off, I think that it's much harder to get smoother curves that are usually what I get when I feel the best. I'll admit that I didn't feel as well as I do now, although perhaps self-medicating with booze was a way around that? "I'm low, I'll have a margarita [tequila w/ a splash of mix= low carb] and figure out how to play 'Hotel California' on my guitar..." had it's moments too.

It may also be that your interest/ bias in the "issue" of diabetes in general has fried your brain into manufacturing the symptoms? That's total speculation on my part as, other than a couple of college classes, I generally avoid psychology because I am, as it were, nuttier than a fruitcake myself and prefer to deny feelings and emotions and focus on odd things in the shimmering distance, playing guitar (and getting blasted...) for years, often reading (and getting blasted...books to go with music and booze to go with both...) and now all the running stuff, which is, similarly, a huge endorphin *buzz*. Although I'm sure my doctor approves of it more than the other stuff. Oh wait, I forgot to tell her about that...

42

What I am guessing is probably most of the time I am feeling an instant spike my sugar is either already out of range or close to out of range and adding more carbs is just making it worse. It's so bizarre that one minute I feel rather fine and eating something that may elevate my sugar a few points can be disaster unless I am low. Like I said the other night I had my cereal and felt relatively fine 1 hr post injection and meal. I was hanging out with my dog who loves peanuts so being she usually sleeps with me when I give her peanuts I took a few for myself and literally within seconds I felt the spike and got irritable. I just didn't want to deal with getting up and taking a test so I eventually just fell asleep. I woke up the next morning feeling kind of the same way but just more groggy. I checked the sugar that morning and it was 105. Certainly felt much higher. I took 1 unit of humalog and stayed feeling horrible for about an hour or so. Then I eventually started feeling better. One unit lowers me about 25 points. So I should have been back to around 80 even though I didn't test to confirm. Today at around 11am I check and was 129 three hours post injection (R) and about 1.5 hours post cereal. I was working rather physically so despite the fact that I felt not great I left it alone. Rechecked one hour later and was down to 54. Ate about 15 grams and felt fine. I am trying to give you some scenarios even though you nor anyone else will probably figure out why this is happening.

43

Hi Gary. I think acidrock was suggesting that you eat less cereal.

Cereal really does spike your blood sugar, esp. cold cereal. Couldn't you substitute salads and meat? If cooking is a problem, it is possible to buy these items already assembled and give them a try.

44

I eat a lot of high glycemic carbs but honestly there is no correlation to any specific food that I eat that makes me feel horrible over anything else. The key to eating higher glycemic foods is only eat them when you are on the lower side and wait at least 15 min after injection so the insulin gets closer to its peak. I eat cereal every night before bed and that is when I generally feel the best and have the most stable levels. I would never eat anything high glycemic unless my sugar is on the low end of normal. Being between 70-80.

45

One issue with R that the doc expl when I got my pump is that the peaks are more variable. I never shot Novolog but the curve is supposed to be more regular and predictable.

46

Little late in on this thread, but I wanted to tell you that I have had Major Depressive Disorder since I was a child. Diabetes is a comparative latecomer, but the 2 together are REALLY bad news.

When I am big-time depressed (and even WITH anti-depressants, I have rough times), my diabetes control goes all to hell. I start craving carbs and sweets, AND have trouble convincing myself to take my insulin. Bad combination. Good way to kill myself. :-(

I do have a therapist, and we have come up with some ways to deal with those overpowering urges. In MY case, since I KNOW I binge, I made a deal with myself that I can binge all I want AS LONG AS I take insulin and monitor to make sure my BG doesn't go too high. A little high is OK, because I don't need the pressure of striving for perfection, but over 250-300 is just NOT acceptable. Setting that numerical goal really helped me get a handle on it.

I don't know what the pressures are in your case, nor how you deal with the depression, but it might be helpful to have even a couple of sessions with a therapist to determine whether you actually are clinically depressed, and to analyze what your specific behavioral barriers are, and what would help you slog through the depression.

For me, the permission to binge if necessary really DOES make me feel better emotionally, even though I know it's not healthy eating, and I can make myself physically sick doing it. And yes, it IS hard to control BGs when bingeing, but the goal is not perfection; it's just to keep myself out of the hospital. The depression DOES pass, and I DO get back in control, but when I'm really depressed, the rules just need to be bent.

What I'm trying to communicate to you is to be proactive about finding ways to DEAL with the depression -- what your endo said absolutely doesn't matter -- what matters is for you to find the energy to stay alive every day until the depression passes. If you want to try antidepressants, you can -- they help me, but each person is different. I have the world's best therapist, but the second best may be hiding in your neck of the woods if you want to avail yourself of their services. Also, therapists vary widely, and if the first one you consult doesn't fit your needs, try another. It took me 4 tries to find this one, and I'm glad I persevered!

Please keep talking to us -- and remember, every day is a brand spankin' new one!

Hugs!

47

I really appreciate your response, here, Natalie. I, too, have had major depression for decades, since childhood, and learned to manage it as best I can. Adding D into the mix is no fun at all. It's good to hear how you and others have worked to deal with it in positive ways. We need to encourage each other to hang in there and find ways to manage that make positive differences in our lives. Too much focus on how dreadful it is to be depressed and how hopeless life with D is just drags everyone deeper into the Slough of Despond for no useful purpose. Thank you for emphasizing practical, realistic strategies.

48

Great post, Natalie. I drove a friend to a fast food joint last night, and I gave in to a high fat higher carby "Fried onion ring" craving. I had to dual wave and check blood sugars, bolus again to stop the creeping upwards blood glucose. This a few more times than usual.. Woke up a little high today (168), but I did not beat myself up for it.
The onion ring foray is not a daily, nor even weekly indulgence. I have to give myself some leeway.

This is a New day., LAB..We a pulling for you and want you to feel better.

God bless,
Brunetta

49

Hi Jean, you don't know me...I'm rather new here. Your reply to LAB was absolutely the most encouraging and from-the-heart response I've ever read! As someone said, right on the money! I just posted something recently about "Ready to give up" or something to that affect. God bless you for your kind and loving response!! It is a very depressing and frustrating disease. I've been thru cancer, bypass surgery (that has been pretty depressing in itself), high-blood pressure (hard to control previously) and a whole list of health issues but this "new" thing with insulin is out-of-this-world exasperating!! I've had diabetes for about 20 years and always been on pills. You are an angel!! :)

50

I totally agree with you acidrock23. Yesterday I tested 9 times. And that's me on a normal day. When I am training for a race I can get up to 15 times. It's the only way to know what is going on. I test if I'm thirsty, have a head ache, feel tired, before every meal, before bed every night (need to make sure I'll wake up), once I get up. I mean the list goes on.
Gary can go and tell his endo whatever he likes, but I prefer to live without complications such as kidneyfailure, blindness, infections etc. If Gary doesn't want to test that's his choice - but it's certainly not good advice.

51

I've been there, I was in a deep depression and thought my life was over. T1 is a roller coaster road. But I took control of my own health, I do not follow the recommended ADA diet, in my opinion, I'd never get my BS in control if I did. Instead I follow a low carb diet and eat lots of low carb veggies such as field greens, kale etc along with lean proteins. My last A1C was 5.6 down from...............wait for it...........14.9!!! I was nearly dead at diagnosis and my liver showed signs of failing as well. But we all need to take control and find an eating program that works for us!! I'm also on the pump (medtronic mini med) and the CGM which I find to be a life saver. Hang in there, there is hope for all of us, I still have my bad days but there is a GOOD life with type 1, we just need to gather up enough strength to go after it. Contact me privately if you wish to chat or if I can help you in any way. I know the darkness of depression....I truly do. I don't want anyone to ever be there!!