Hmm... is it mental as in "it makes me crazy"? YES. Is it mental in that it takes huge amounts of mental acuity just to live in a sort-of-pretend "normal" state of health? YES. Is it mental as in "If you'd just think positive, your sugar wouldn't do that." (meaning go up & down and being totally unpredictable). NO! NO! NO!
I am a pretty positive person. I'm not a bubbly Pollyanna, but I prefer to see the glass as half full. I am very dedicated to my faith and believe there is a purpose for all things, even diabetes. Do I know what that purpose is exactly? Nope. Does that bother me? Nope.
Do I feel cheated in some way that *I* have diabetes? No, not really although I can admit to having a few pity parties in the past 36 years of living with this disease. But when I start feeling all pitiful and victimized, I think to myself that maybe *I* was given this disease because I'm strong enough to handle it. Because perhaps someone needs/ed to see that ability to cope in me to help them deal with some problem in their life. I dunno. I just know that with this disease, EVERY. SINGLE. THING in your life is affected by it and you can't take a vacation from it, you can't just say, No, I'm not doing this anymore. & quit taking your meds, checking those sugars, etc... not if you care for those that care about you.
Probably if not for my two sons, I would possibly have been to the point of not caring enough to try anymore. But they keep me going. No amount of badgering from my mother or pleas from my husband do what knowing my kids are worried about me or having been scared by me having some health crisis because I wasn't being careful & doing what I'm supposed to... that gets me back on track quicker than anything. I am because they are, ya know?
So yeah, a doctor once told me that depression is just a given for anyone with a chronic disease. It was a revelation to me at that time, but it makes sense. Carrying the kind of 'baggage' we do can wear even the strongest person down over time. The key is realizing that, yeah, it's gonna happen. You're gonna get down & depressed & wonder why it even matters. But that's not a new state of being, it's just a passing storm and the sun will come out again. And yeah, I think that if you don't have the right attitude about diabetes, you can mentally defeat yourself & derail your health & maybe even your life!
I realize I've just been babbling here, but it's been kinda cathartic so thanks for bringing this up!
"mental disturbance when I have a hypoglycemic attack"
Wow.. I hadn't even thought about this part of the scenario. I sometimes have VERY disturbing ... uh, I dunno what you'd call it... it's like I lose touch with reality. Total seriousness here.
I can remember getting low one time & being totally convinced there were men trying to break into my house to kill me & my kids. I wasn't like running around, freaking out, but I was SCARED outta my mind & couldn't get across to my husband what was bothering me. :(
Another time, just a few years ago... I must have just dropped really fast (I have hypoglycemic unawareness) & I was watching some movie.. the room kept changing size.. like the walls were moving in & out (I know, I sound like a loon, which is why I've never told this to ANYone) I had this sense that people were trying to interrogate me (maybe I was watching a spy flick?) & they were accusing me of things I'd NEVER do. People, it was SO vivid! It was like I kept going through rooms & each one led to another room, over & over. I could never get to where I was going. I'd look at the door & it kept moving back & forth and I kept thinking occasionally that "Wait, I think I might be low. Um.. I need to focus. Where am I again?" Y'know, like I couldn't figure out what was real & what wasn't.
When my husband came in the house & saw me just sitting there on the couch, he started fussing at me for not doing something & it took him awhile to figure out I was hypo. *sigh*
Does that kinda thing happen to anyone else? I've never heard of anyone else having like, I dunno, almost like hallucinations or something. :(
Those ARE hallucinations. When your brain is not getting the nutrients it needs, it starts to malfunction, but what you see and hear (and taste and smell) seem TOTALLY real, and the places in your brain that distinguish between the possible and impossible may not be functioning. And hallucinations can be totally scary, aided by the adrenaline that may be coursing through your veins because of the hypoglycemia.
I had a hypERglycemic coma last year, and I had HORRIBLE hallucinations, and I was totally convinced they were real. My sweet 21-year-old nephew came to the hospital almost every day, and I would tell him stuff, and he would patiently sit there and tell me "That doesn't make sense. Think about it. It doesn't make sense." That proves that the brain doesn't work well on maple syrup instead of blood.
Make sure your husband knows that you hallucinate when you're low -- it may explain some strange behavior, and make him more aware that you might be low and need help! Good luck!
I was in town with my parents last summer and had an argument with my dad and suddenly I wasnĀ“t able to say the words that I wanted to say so I started sqeeking and screaming odd noices at him. He thought I had a mental break down and took me to hospital (thank God!). The hospital staff was told that I am diabetic but they ignored that and treated me like I was in psychosis. Until I passed out. Then they checked my bloodsugars and understood what was wrong with me. I had a hypo. Crazy stuff..
I feel for you. I was diagnosed when I was six in 1956. My mother don't tell anyone about the diabetes but somehow some found out. I had mean kids tease me and say I know you have diabetes and used to tease me in the girls bathroom. Now I am grown I have realized that I am a brave compassionate person. The number of injections blood sugars and high and low blood sugars make me a brave person. Life is like a fight and we must keep fighting for everything. I know it is depressing but if you can find true friends and be compassionate to others think of yourself as a brave and wonderful person.
I think I am more anxiety ridden than depressed. Or perhaps they feed off one another. When I discuss my state of mind...like the one I am going through now, where I suddenly convinced myself I would be going blind in the next ten years because I have background retinopathy... and as a result am thinking about it every day... it causes me anxiety for the future, but motivates me to get in the best shape and care of my condition to avoid that potential. I grew up never really feeling like a diabetic. I was a person who took shots because a part of my body did not work correctly. It was not until I got diagnosed with retinoapthy that my life altered and I became afraid and depressed. I stopped living my life because of that, and I still struggle with a lot of fear, even though I have done a lot with my life and lived in many countries and travelled so much for my job. I think my anxiety will subside if I can see concrete results in my tighter control in the near future. I am a 37 year old man, who has had this almost his entire life, and I am hoping it is not too late for me to reverse the damage done, and restart a new. My endo seems to think so, but I have to get past this state of mind to do so.
I know this is an old thread but it was still in my box & it was good to re-read the post & comments. Good reminders & encouragement here! Just wanted to add a link to my new-ish blogā¦ Itās not so much a ādiabetes blogā, but a blog by a person with diabetes. Itās about life, love, family & how I try to get through it all while managing the Diabeast! (T1D). Would love to interact with others who āget itā!
My Life in Dog Yearsāliving with diabetes, depression & HOPE! http://www.lifeindogyears.com `
Non diabetics could not understand this experience. Having to get to food as soon as possible. Carrying glucose but not wanting the rescue experience but knowing a low is close. Walking to a coffee shop and having the alarm go off as I start eating pastry. When the walk had opportunities to linger I focused on getting there with as little time and exertion as possible. If I had been with other people could I have maintained the focus? Itās a focus on a goal most would find unreasonable. One might think it would be nicer for me to eat my glucose if I had a medical necessity. And I would have rather than convince others to join me in such a seemingly unhealthy goal.
Yeah, it is. Sometimes itās a real PITA$$!. Most of the time, considering Iāve dealt with this for SO long, I actually feel blessed. Pretty much keep away from carbs; thatās a help for me.
Like my mom used to say about getting old, itās better than the alternative! I personally think MOST T1ās are more healthy than T2ās, because we have to be.
Yes very. Itās so constantly consuming! I feel the need to check my bg A LOT too! Itās been around 3 yrs since being diagnosed with type 1 but some how I still struggle with being on top of it. This disease and the personal struggles I have with it, and its never-ending need for attn some times makes me feel angry and discouraged. My self control is not that great on most days. Also, Iām so afraid of lows that I keep my bg too high most of the timeā¦I think its much like someone trying to balance on a bike thatās wobbling all over the place. With all the constant checking of my bg and $ I have to spend on strips, youād think I could keep things under control. And then, the shame, and the fear of complications. I have nobody to blame but myself and Iām not sure why I donāt have it in me yet to take more control of this. I just hope I start doing better soon. I try not worry too much and usually block things out but I do need to face this and get on top of it before things start going wrong. Stupid diabetes
We were finally able to get a CGM covered, but b/c I hadnāt met much of my deductible, we are basically paying in full for the thing. With me going to Orlando next week for MasterLab 2016, flying down on my own (Iāve never flown before!) and really the first time Iāve ever gone this far from home alone, my poor husband was really freaking out over the thoughts of not knowing if I was okay or being able to just check on me for a couple of days. Having the Dexcom will give us both a lot of peace, so it was worth incurring another medical payment. (ugh) But hopefully, the resupply to continue using them will be lots cheaper when the time comes. I am now really interested in finding out about Afrezza, although I foresee another battle with insurance to cover it, but how cool would it be to have such fast-acting insulin that doesnāt slam you into the dirt?? (make you hypo! LOL!) Maria32, keep pursuing the CGM. I had to wait til my husbandās company switched to a different insurance. But donāt give up on it. It really makes a huge difference in control and besides that, for me, itās about not worrying yourself sick because you have hypo-unawareness!! Not good to be 800 miles from home when you canāt tell if your sugar is 200 or 20. :\ Totally #stupiddiabetes
Had you not taken as good a care weād have operated for $75,000. So hereās is the money. You take a relaxing vacation and pay off some bills and enjoy. Weāre all winners when youāre healthy. D is a full time job and should be recognised.
