diabetes controls my feelings so much, it can make me feel I’m on the top of the world 
or buried in the deepest hole … I have to admit it gave me a lot of sleepless nights , tearful eyes and a busy mind , every time i think of something i have to see how will it effect my diabetes , even a simple idea like going on school trips for a day or 2 makes me worried cuz all the kids comes light and enjoys their time with nothing to be thinking about while i have to carry a whole bag of " emergency diabetic supplies" that contains my backup insulin pen , pump supplies , insulin containers , etc. I FEEL SO TRAPPED … sometimes i wish if i can remember how i lived when i didn’t have diabetes :’( sometimes i feel i can’t take it anymore …
nuni868 and Michelle and all,
We all feel like this sometimes and I’m sorry that you’ve been hitting one of those down spirals we hit sometimes. I sympathize!
Here is what I’m learning (and I was the queen of negative self-talk). Love yourself. This is something I’m learning. If you had a friend with diabetes you’d say things like “Wow, I’m really proud of you for how you’re managing this. It must be so hard and you’re still rising above it and fighting and conquering and I really admire that.” So tell that to yourself. Also love yourself with a treat (not food) - like go to the Harry Potter movie or buy something that smells really good. I sometimes buy myself Victoria’s Secret shampoo. It smells awesome and everywhere I go people tell me that I smell good. It cheers me up.
Come here for support and vent whenever you need to. I sure need to sometimes!
Hugs,
Maria
I’ve been diabetic for 2 years 6 months and 13 days. I get those days, I just cry about it. I get terrified by it. I loose sleep over it. I bite all my nails of from the nerves it gets on and the anxiousness that over comes me. I waste numerous hours wondering and over thinking the possibility that one day I’ll become blind, with no feet, no feeling in my nerves and I’m completely insulin resistant that I won’t be able to put anything in my mouth to eat apart from water, while my kidneys slowly fail me right up until my heart gives out on me completely. After all that, in a way I like those days because they give me back that fight I need to make sure I keep all this under control the best I can and reduce my risks of all those viel complications. Pluss a good cry is just as good as a good clean out.
Chin up though, just remeber… We’ve got insulin. We’ve got blood glucose meters. We’ve got pumps (for those who use them). We’ve got research. We’ve got doctors, nutritionists, experience of other diabetics. We’ve got a chance, and a chance is all we need.
when people see me testing my blood or taking a shot (before i was on the pump) i would frequently get the comment “that must be terrible having to do that all of the time” i used to think about it and say "yeah, it really is, and that would depress me. then one day i thought a little deeper and said “the options to shots and finger sticks are a whole lot worse” i realized that i had a lot of relatives that died from diabetes before the 1920’s, could not have been a nice way to go, lingering on the allen diets for a year or two and then succumbing to severe ketosis. we have this thing, it really sucks, but there aint nothin’ we can do about that now… we have been dealt a bad hand, but you know what? most other people have too. if its not this, you could get a host of other chronic diseases, or your life could be really rough. i heard recently that 1/3 of the population of the planet has an issue with access to drinkable water, there are places on the globe that sees children starve regularly… and i complain because i have to watch what i eat and test my blood often and take insulin. i have never been in a place where i wondered if i would be able to get insulin, or food if i needed it… i don’t mean to preach, but in the grand scheme of things, we have it pretty good. my father died of complication in 1999 at 64 1/2 he lived a good life, he was successful and a nice guy. was it unfair that he died so young? you bet. his father was a nice guy too. not diabetic. he died at 43 by getting hit by a drunk driver… stressing out adds nothing to your lifespan or health. i get sad, i get angry, but i also get over it and move forward…
I agree. We all need to hear or tell ourselves “chin up now” once in a while.
i am not trying to be heartless about it, it is just that this disease is heartless… and, well… there is nothing else that we can do about it…
Michelle with all the answers you’ve gotten, I’m sure mine is going to echo a lot of what has been said already. Whose in charge of your diabetes, the “D” or you? Yes, it’s depressing, but it sounds like maybe you are allowing the “D” more power than it has in your emotional life. Are you taking care of you? Are you doing what you are supposed to be doing to help you remain healthy? I’ll bet you are. We all get tired of anything that is in our life for a long period (and this is a long period) but, when I think of the other things I could have, this is nothing in comparison to maybe having cancer or a brain disease. I am learning even at 57 that taking diabetes day by day, not worrying about tomorrow, and not fearing what happened yesterday, gets me through. YES I hate having to take my sugars four times a day, I hate having to weigh one food against another, I hate having to take meds…and if I were on insulin, you can bet I’d hate that. But you know, life is so much more than diabetes. What do you like to do? What is a passion in your life that you’d do it even if you had to give up other things? Concentrate on those things and only allow the “D” in when it’s turn comes around. You can do it…we can all do it. And you know those words I just wrote to you, helped me too. Thanks. Hang in there.
I don’t really get sad… I get frustrated with it. I want to say to my self, “S$#&*!, I did everything that I was suppose to do, Why isn’t working the way that I expected?”. I have come to realize that it will be my constant challange not a battle.
happens at least once a week. one bad reading is all that it takes. such a drag to have a body that is out of control sometimes.
Well I rarely get down because of my diabetes but it does happen. I think about the complications and stuff like that or I’m about to go play hockey or whatever and I have to go the the checklist of crap I have to do. I need to tell myself that there is alot worse things that I could have to do and that I’m still able to live my life. Don’t sweat the small stuff… and it’s all small stuff.
Oh and lately if i’m feeling a little down about something diabetes related I like to go on here and read success stories or just see all the people that deal with the same thing I do everyday. There is strength in numbers and we’re not alone.