I mean I of all people know how important it is to be ‘up’, to keep popsitive and to never stop fighting for (for lack of a better word to cover it all) Tomorrow. And we all know that by tomorrow, I mean feeling human, hurting less, minimal pain, less daunting future’s and simply to be here tomorrow to watch our kids grow up or our lives go forward.
I know Type 1’s as a whole are more of an independent group, we have to be. And I know in my own history and personality I take that sometimes too far. Often, the worst times in my life I’ve been known to go inward rather than actually let someone know I’m hurting, both in an emotional and physical sense.
Does anyone else:
Just want a day OFF. just one TOTALLY CAREFREE day.
Just get mad once in a while.
Wish those closest could REALLY understand what you go thru, not just ‘try to’ or 'want to’
Think of how different your life could have been without that type 1 sucker punch at a young age…
Ever look down at your handfull of pills or drawn up syringe and get overwhelmed with hate?
Look towards the future and think (full of fear) Oh God whats next?
Tired of watching this disease erode your body, and your hope along with it.
I think after clenching tightly to that ‘rosey’ ‘normal life’ ‘tight control keeps away the complications’ outlook for so long, I have come to a point where being realistic, and don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean dramatic, or needy or negative, or even ‘Poor me-ish’, I mean realistic. (after a lifetime of this seriously, who are we kidding) I guess whats left is me being really angry, and reaIly tired.
I understand most important thing for sites like this would be to ‘keep that positive attitude’ along with letting people know that as diabetics that they aren’t alone out there. But I ask for some input from others that are feeling like me, or have, because knowing we all get like this sometimes lets me know that I’m not alone out here and would do wonders towards me being able to embrace the despair when it comes around and then get past it to grab once again onto that ‘Rosey outlook’