Diabetic jokes


#1

What does one meter say to another???

HI-LO

More diabetes jokes please!!!!!

Stuart


#2

hahah


#3

LOL! That’s about the poorest one that I’ve heard so far. :smiley: But yet, it’s more than mine…I got ZERO Diabetes jokes.


#4

A Diabetic walks into a bakery as asks the guy behind the counter, “Whaddya got that is safe for diabetics?”

The Baker says, “Everything. As long as you don’t put it in your mouth.”


#5

As the salesman was just about to close the shop two very excited diabetics (George and Scott) came running in the door!

“Wow, is that sign for real?” asks Scott.

“Which sign?” Asks the salesman

“Hello? The one on the front of your window!” replies George.

“Well of course” said the salesman.

“WE’LL TAKE TWO PLEASE! One for each of us!!!” they shout in unison.

“What do you want?” inquired the salesman.

“A Functioning Pancreas!” exclaims Scott.

“But this is a music store!!!” Says the salesman.

A look of confusion falls upon everyone’s face.

George sheepishly replies, “But the sign says ‘Organ’s for sale.’”


#6

A police officer pulls over this guy who’s been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy’s window and says, “Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyser tube.”

The man says, “Sorry, officer, I can’t do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that, I’ll have a really bad asthma attack.”

“Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample.”

“I can’t do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I’ll bleed to death.”

“Well, then, we need a urine sample.”
“I’m sorry, officer, I can’t do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that, I’ll get really low blood sugar.”

“All right, then I need you to come out here and walk this white line.”

“I can’t do that, officer.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m drunk.”


#7

I like that one!! LOL


#8

Stuart- I think I stole some of these from the DLife.com page where you posted this morning. haha.


#9

Love that one, Marps!


#10

Hello Marps:

I share,

Stuart


#11

Hello Terrie8:

(at the acknowledged “poverty” of his own joke)

Then your “assignment” sire is to create one!!! Find something to laugh at and lets make with the fun!

Stuart


#12

Hello DsandCT:

Thank you…

Your turn… coooooooome on lets make a joke of diabetes! If we can laugh at it, then it cannot crush us. We win, it does not.

Stuart


#13

Diabetes is no sugar licking (freely translated from German)


#14

Oh Ho Stuart. So Marps gets to copy and paste jokes from the net but I have to “create” one?? Doesn’t seem fair somehow.


As usual, the donuts, cookies, brownies and squares were making bets on who would be their next Customer(s) and who would be the chosen dessert Winner(s).

Would it be a few high school Kids or a Well-to-do business owner perhaps? Percentage-wise, the donuts were making a “killing” today on those type of Clients.

“Okay Everyone!! We are in Business, the doorbell has tinkled. Smile…Big Smiles”. hollered the confident Boston Cream donut.

The new Customer walked to the counter and slowly ran his fingers along the glass while gazing at the Yummy desserts and jingling the change in his pocket. With a shrug and a smile he waved to the Cashier.

“Ack, never mind Gang”, sighed a disgruntled donut….dropping his blueberry grin. “It’s just that Guy with Diabetes coming in for his boring glass of water and idle chat”.

Terrie


Geez!! Now I feel Bad. Poor desserts. :[


#15

ROFL! No wonder it’s free…but it made me laugh. :smiley:


#16

I didn’t like my other joke so I “created” this one. It will do.


Nearby: “One hump or two”? questioned the impatient camel owner to the indecisive camel buyer.

“No no, not me thanks”, replied the hard-of-hearing Senior, proudly.
“I don’t take sugar in my coffee. I’m a Diabetic, you know”, he added, to the Waiter.

Terrie



#17

Very nice joke! In fact one of the best I’ve heard about diabetes!


#18

LOL thats a cute one!


#19

Aren’t you getting sick of all this sweetness?


#20

Love the jokes! Keep them coming!