I have been very proactive in getting my diabetes and overall health back on track. However, I have been extremely emotional and depressed lately. I was PMSing horrifically for the first time in a few months last week (I'm on a low dose pill that makes me only have my period every 3 months) but it seems so much more than that. It's not my numbers for once, they have been great lately!
My main problem is that I have little to no support system to talk to about this. To make matters worse, I've been really angry and mad at my best friend/sorta boyfriend of 2.5 years. I found pictures of a girl on his computer and at first he acted really "sketchy" about it and hid the pictures. I kept bugging him and he finally told me that it was someone random he was talking to and he was "curious" as to what she looked like and it was nothing but there's all these comments from women on his profile and now all I can think is what else isn't he telling me!? I normally wouldn't care because people talk and its no big deal and I am normally a very mature person who doesn't get caught up in that nonsense, but this is REALLY bothering me along with EVERYTHING bothering me. For the record, I've been fine with the setup of the relationship at the moment because neither one of us wants to get serious when I might be moving away soon and he might move back to where he is from and some other things too. I was trying to be more open with him about diabetes lately but I've stopped because of me being emotional and feeling like he doesn't really care.
This is just one example, though. I keep getting extremely emotional over little things, snapping at everyone, and then feeling extremely depressed and hopeless. I even get annoyed at people chewing their food! OH, and I feel really unattractive right now and like a big ole loser because I gave SO much up to get my degree and now I can't find a job. AT ALL. And on top of all that I keep getting these crazy surges in emotion!
Ok, now that I'm done my rant, how do I deal with these emotions and keep my depression at bay while I'm trying to improve my control? Depression along with the stress of college led to some less than stellar A1C's and I don't want to go back to that. I know I need a better support system, which is why I am here, but what else should I do?
Sympathize with you. Since I can’t understand PMS, we’ll trade. See if you can understand being bullied, shafted by a doctor and medication nurse and mentaly dieing as a result with the net result of all that being such that you make yourself sick most of the time when you try to make a decision about something as well as being bitched at every day as people expect you to be a carbon copy of them and can’t understand that you’re not. Life is not pleasant in many cases. Try to do your best and hope that someone will appreciate you for you.
Hi Pamaloo: I can identify with much of what you say except that I can’t imagine dealing with all that angst and diabetes too. I had one problem at a time and that was tough enough. So glad that you reached out here to the members of this group. Everyone here rants from time to time and the members are very supportive.
All I can tell you is that the depression does lift. I have had depression throughout the years and the one thing I know is that I must do everything I can to be sure that it doesn’t become clinical depression. Actually, I have been fighting depression recently and it is just now starting to lift. If you feel that you need help, you need to seek it.
I too got my degree and found myself on the job hunt. While this was many years ago, I have learned one thing over the years and that is that most people who persevere finally succeed in getting the job that they sought once they got their degree. You seem to have a great plan. Go for it.
I have also learned that emotions can get in the way of dreams especially in relationships. The problems that you are experiencing with your boyfriend seem so tough to handle. You don’t sound immature at all but the problem with your boyfriend is just so difficult. Feelings of betrayal can be the worst!
I want to congratulate you for taking control of the diabetes. Now that you have that under control you might want to review your meds with your doctor. I’ve never heard of the med that you are taking but is it possible that it is contributing to your mood swings? It is probably worth checking out.
Stay strong Pamaloo. I wish you the best on your journey.
Joanne
David: So sorry to hear that you have had to go through all this. Has it always been this tough since childhood? I can totally relate to the doctor and nurse problems. We hear so much about kids bullying kids and yet, until we put an end to the bullying by adults, how can possibly think the kids won’t learn that bullying is the way to get ahead. We need to end all the bullying especially by doctors and nurses. Anyway…that’s my 2 cents. Hope things improve for you David. Joanne
Childhood was bad enough. Only diabetic in a smaller school. Imagine. Parts worse than that was the medical system misdiagnosed bursitis and the really major hyperactive reaction to whatever combination of events caused it.(None of which were my doing) Then because you now and for quite a while have major difficulties making a decision, it’s no fun. Try to imagine what it might be like to be either a drug addict or alcoholic on day 4 of detox when no one is going to pay any attention to you. If that doesn’t work for you pretend that you have willing or unwilling tried to get pregnant only to discover that the morning sickness you are now experiencing , well your’e not going to ever try again. If all of that makes you glad you’re not me, add in the people that think you are a carbon copy of them and aren’t. Been on antidepressants and they’re useless.Quit taking them about 6 years ago. Saved me time and money and has it made any difference???
i remember the days when my mind used to be overrun with emotions and thoughts of all things good and the worst; as time went by, with each new day, and with a brand new life to look forward to, my mind emptied itself in a flash, just like that; with a cup of coffee in hand, i sit back and think about the yesteryears, smiling at the change that has taken over me and the life that i have been blessed with now; strolling down the memory lane, unafraid of the future, blinded by the ecstasy of living eventually, with eyes wide open, i’ve come to understand, that some things, including life, change for the better;
you should do what i do, i have a ranting buddy. we hang we sit we rant. i’ve had to find ways of managing my depression because the antidepressants make me suicidal. it doesn’t help if you pent things up inside and sitting and having a good rant helps deal with that aspect…
don’t use your best friend/boyfriend as a rant buddy, use another friend that is just as close to you you never know he/she may have a few rants of their own. just meet once, twice or even three times a week and just sit and rant. you’ll feel fantastic for it.
It doesn’t make your depression go away but it helps to take the edge off of your mood swings
I read Listening To Prozac by Peter Kramer soon after published in 1993 because I was put on Prozac in Feb 1994. The problem was a man had killed many people because he had run OUT of prozac. There was a law suit that it was dangerous to the public if it was taken and stopped this way. Suicide is bad enough, but mass murder is a lot worse. The drug company won the case on the basis that the drug helps so many people and why deprive them, if it can be managed by doctors strongly advising about the effects of sudden withdrawal. It is not so much the drug that is at fault, but that suddenly being without it can make that person’s depression much worse.
I’m curious which antidepressant makes you more suicidal while you are actually taking it?
It is so ironic to read your post because i see myself so much in it. So you should know you are not alone. My A1C was high for years. This past year, I decided to make it a priority to lower it. It has been difficult because of sacrafices. My body had to go through a type of withdrawal because it was so use to high blood sugars. I felt terrible at times and lashed out at people. Even some of my friends did not understand some of the changes in my life. I stopped trying to be everything to everyone and some people took it personally. I hate to say it but I lost some friends along the way because I could not do everything they asked. I too do not have the biggest support group. I realize that I am the only person that can be me. So, I had to destress my life (as much as I could) and find out what is important. Trust your gut (about the boyfriend and everything else in life)! Become your own cheerleader. Celebrate the big and small things. Be proud of yourself that you have done what so many others dream of doing—getting a better blood sugar. Look in your local paper, call your doctor, or on the internet for a local support group. If you can’t find one, start one. Don’t wait until you get so overwhelmed with life to do something about it. When you first feel like you are getting depressed, take action then. Find things you enjoy and do it (reading, meditation/prayer, exercise, a pottery class,etc.) Hang in there and realize it does get better!!
Thanks for all of your replies, I truly appreciate it, and I just really needed somewhere to rant! I’ve been overwhelmed lately by life in general and have been meaning to post individual replies but haven’t had the time to (I probably will later on today), but I wanted to post this to show my appreciation. Thanks!
I go through times like this. I work so hard on my body, through eating well to working out and when ■■■■ happens it can get really frustrating. I was working out in the winter hard and I got such a bad low from over training I blacked out and broke my leg in the process. I couldn’t play basketball, work out or walk normally for a few months. I guess its good to vent your issues whenever you can or else it can get really bottled up inside till you can burst. I defiantly get depressed from being a diabetic from time to time, though I am working real hard on changing that.
Sam
Hey girl,
I know exactly how you feel… dealing with depression and diabetes sucks soooo much. I’ve been having a hard time with it too… My A1C 6 months ago was 14! I got it to 9.5 now, but that still isnt good. I’m currently on depression medication to help. I’ve taken every antidepressant you could think of. None of them REALLY work for me, but I wanna feel better and go back to my old self so bad. I’m willing to try anything. I used to be out going and social, but my depression has shut me down. I hate being this way. I get how you snap for no reason. I do too. For the littlest things!!!
If you EVER need anyone to talk to, I’m here.
Kristen Marie