I read a great DiabetesMine column today written by Amy Tenderich, entitled Your Guide to a New Era in Diabetes Design. I love the topic of the design (or lack of) of our diabetes devices and how well they match our needs as people with diabetes. But the thing that intrigued me about this article was a link to a YouTube video that features Brene Brown, a scholar and research Professor, but more importantly a smart storyteller.
The link took me to a YouTube video entitled Brene Brown on Empathy. [Go ahead, click on the link, itās under 3 minutes long. Sorry about the short ad!] I was struck by the simple truth presented in the video because it explains why I keep coming back to TuDiabetes year after year.
Almost immediately the animated video states that empathy fuels connection, sympathy drives disconnection. Empathy is defined as the ability to take the perspective of another, withholding judgment, recognizing emotion in another, and communicating that position. Recognizing the cold dark reality that someone feels and being with them in a way that tells them they are not alone.
She humorously contrasts the awkward and lame attempts at sympathy that anyone who has been down and out can instantly recognize. āRarely, if ever does an empathic response begin with āat least.āā Many of us have heard the lame attempt to connect with us when we were rocked with our scary diabetes diagnosis and someone said, āAt least you donāt have cancer.ā
This video clocks in at under three minutes but it really packs a punch. Watch it more than once; itās that good.
With this video fresh in my mind, I can see many mistakes Iāve made in this regard. I know many men are criticized as wanting to immediately āfixā whatās broken as they totally flub the opportunity to connect with a child or a spouse. Iāve made that mistake. Itās a simple truth and one Iād like to incorporate better in my interaction with the world.
Thanks for the link, Iāll check the video out later tonight.
Iāve been aware of the subtle difference between empathy and sympathy since I was a teenager. I definitely try to empathize with people and not sympathize for them. As someone with chronic health conditions and a disability, I definitely donāt want sympathy from anyone, but empathy is very important.
Great post! I have heard of her through my husbandās uncle who is a marriage counselor and he also teaches marriage seminars. He loves her stuff. She is also very funny!
I would check out some of her other videos too. Such a wise woman!
I plan to look at some of her other YouTube videos. She has a concise and interesting take on human emotion. I just couldnāt believe how much wisdom is packed into a 3 minute video. Iām glad you enjoyed it.
Thanks for the video and the post. Neil deGrasse Tyson suggesting that empathy should be part of early education, along with reading, writing and basic math. If this were true, this video would be a required viewing and, perhaps, we would be making fewer mistakes in life.
@Judith_in_Portland, I did watch some of her TED talk on vulnerability. Good stuff and a complicated subject that she struggled with herself. At one point she sought help from a therapist and she laid down the ground rules: I donāt want to talk about my family or growing up $hit, I just need help with this issue. I never thought about what happens when a therapist goes to a therapist! Great insights.
@Dragan1, empathy is a critical skill for successful living. Iāve read that the physiology involved is something called mirror neurons that allow us to imagine what it would feel like to experience the same circumstance of another person. This is something missing in a sociopath.
Simply gorgeous! I was a practicing psychotherapist and organizational consultant for a couple of decades. The most important skillāempathy. Once the connection happens, the exploration into deeper understanding and new options for solution occur organically.
@David_dns - Sociopaths are scary. Especially when theyāre smart and motivated. Their glaring deficiency in empathy should make them easy to spot but we as a society seem to miss it.
@Ahnalira - Iām glad you enjoyed it. Simple truth simply told is a thing of beauty.
Actually that has not been my experience. A smart sociopath knows how to say what you need to hear in order for you to do as they wish. You see it, for example, when a trusted public official is caught embezzling. More often than not, his/her peers are shocked almost beyond words because the sociopath was perceived as everyoneās best friend. Iāve seen it more than once.
