After years of trying to get an A1c under 7, I joined this community was filled with inspiration and ideas. And for about a year, I kept my A1c around 6.5. Since we are slowly preparing for pregnancy, this seemed like a good place to be… with the hope of dropping below 6 before pregnancy.
The last few months, my diabetes management was worse. I could see it because I was measuring less often and my meter average was up substantially. Somehow I still hoped that the A1c would come back alright.
I just got the results and I am back up at 7.9.
It’s time to jump back on the diabetes management wagon and get a better handle on the things that I have let slide. I thought that once i went below 7, I wouldn’t go back up above 7. Apparently managing life with diabetes requires constant discipline. I don’t know how to do that.
Frustrated (mostly with myself) and trying to find the motivation to do better.
Additionally, there clearly was something that you were doing when you joined this community (and not just meeting people) that has gone the wayside. I guess specifically, if you can remember, what did you do differently when you first joined? test more often? decrease carbs? increase basal? optimize pump in some way? stop eating that one food that keeps spiking you? If you can look back and say specifically, “I was doing XXX more or less and also doing YYY more or less.” then you are on your way.
I’m not sure it is possible with this disease to just wake up one day and fix everything- and then have an a1c that is less than 6… but I do think that small consisent changes DO make a huge difference.
in terms of motivation- I CAN say that beating yourself up willnot do it, or at least not for very long.
Instead, maybe look for something that inspires you. You mentioned that you are preparing for pregnancy. If this something you reallly want, ask yourself what about being a mother/starting a family is the most inspiring or the most moving to you. Focus on that. If what is inspiring to you is the idea of being life giving, or being a nuturing mother, or being someone who gives of themselves for others then great! Then when you are doing all the annoying, nitpicking, irritating, difficult steps that may ormay not be neccessary to get your A1c down, ask yourself if what you are doing is consistent with being life giving, or nurturing or what have you and do the things that go along with that.
also, if you are still frustrated and beating yourself up about this, try forgiveness! If neccessary, I can forgive you if you would like. some people just like to know that all is well and no one blames them. If you are not one of those people, then nevermind.
to summarize:
go back to basics- test more, figure out what works and do it, figure out what doesn’t work, and stop doing that or do it less. accept that it won’t likely change overnight, but everyday it can get better.
figure out why this is important to you in the first place. let that be the motivation for your changes, not guilt.
dwell on the frustrations for awhile, then stop and dust yourself off and get back to work.
know that everyone here at TuD cares- and we believe in you.
Kristin, thank you so much for posting. I’m sorry things have slipped off track for you. You know what to do, and you will do it. You’ve helped me so very much - enormously - dealing with the numbers, and trying to get the car back on the road when I go off in the ditch. It’s so hard, so hard to deal with this thing. I know that wanting a baby is a powerful motivator. I think you will be a fantastic mother, too.
Like you’ve said so often, better to come to grips with the realization things aren’t going so well, and do something about it now, than to wait in denial until the situation gets even worse. If there’s anything I can do for you, friend, name it. You’ve been a blessing to me.
Hi Kristin,
I know that you can do it! You are such an inspiration to us all here. And you have to be one of the biggest Cheerleaders here. Now its our turn to cheer you on. Go KRISTEN!!! You can do.
good Luck! When you are feeling down, hard on yourself, and like you are loosing, come here. I for one will give you a big Hug and cheer you on! I KNOW that you can do it.
Yea, those numbers can get frustrating from time to time, we’ve all been there. It does require constant management and I’ve had plenty of times where I just got tired of dealing with it. With me, most of my problems come from treating diabetes almost as a habit, just something you do without thinking about it, like cracking your knuckles.
If nothing else, testing 9-10 times a day and really watching my carb intake has at least made me feel more in control. My son is a baseball player and back in the days when I was coaching I used to tell him “Control your balance and you will control your power” when he would get off balance when batting. Maybe diabetes is like that a little “Control your numbers and you will control your life”. I don’t worry to much about my A1c, really, it’s a nice rough guideline, but for day to day management, I have to manage it day to day. I guess where I was going will that ramble was just take care of today. When today is over, learn from what happened and then take on tomorrow. Baseball happens one pitch at a time, that last pitch really doesn’t matter any more. So you’re last 3 months weren’t where you wanted them to be, sounds like you knew it was coming. But that A1c doesn’t really say anything about what the next 3 months will be like. To fix a problem, you have to learn from the past and focus on the future to solve it.
Boy, waxed philosophical there… Anyone still awake? *tap *tap Is this thing on?
Anyway, you’ve done it before and you’ll do it again!
This is “real life” with diabetes. We face days like today. But it is nice to not face them alone-- so thanks!!
I am ready to forgive and forget the past few months and move on. I wish I felt more certain that I wouldn’t fall back into these bad habits again!! I will do my best to make good diabetes management my “normal” habits!
Scott-- when I read your message I subconsciously started cracking my knuckles Funny!
Kristin the beautiful thing is all any of has is right now. A minute is gone and there is no promise of another minute.
Let the past stay there so it does not distort your perception of hope for tomorrow. Can’t erase it but hope for a better diabetes day ahead.
I have pretty awful control despite trying but a bit ago I let it go and now I have better control because I let it stay behind me.
Your loved and that is pretty awesome
Laura,
Those are such beautiful words of encouragement to Kristin. As everyone knows, we all have our trials and tribulations with this horrific disease and with people like you that offer words of motivation and ecouragement, it makes it all more bearable.
Thank you for what you have given Kristin and thank you for letting me share those words to my own “diabetic problems”.
You’ll do it, Kristin…it’s just frustrating getting there. Emotionally, you’ve got it in you, and practically, you know what you need to do. For me, I find that one feeds off the other. Successes day to day help keep me motivated to do well. You know what has worked for you in the past, watching carbs or checking your numbers frequently, or whatever…and it’s not all or nothing, it’s just doing the best you can. You will be a great mom!
Amiga,
You are an inspiration to all of us in so many ways! Acknowledging we can do better always is the start and, just like you did it before, you can do it again.
Leaving the past where it belongs (like Laura so beautifully wrote) is a good thing… washing your face and starting back so your next numbers are where you want them to be.
Without any conditions, you will always have our love, respect and admiration. Keep it up, girl!
Laura, your words are wise and true! I will re-read them often. To the others, thanks for being sure that I will never feel alone and never without a laugh!
On the way home from worked, I stopped by the grocery store to stock up on low carb snacks and made a late night cooking adventure involving some chickpeas, onions and lots of garlic. My trusty nutrition scale will be dusted off tomorrow and my precise.carb counting restarted. That made all the difference before and it will again! Wishing you all the motivation you need!!!
Kristin I know exactly how you feel! I too am on a crusade to get my numbers under 6 and was disappointed when I had my last HbA1c to not be closer to my goal than I got to at that point.
There’s no point giving you strategies to achieve it because you sound like you know exactly what you’re doing, but all I can say is I think this HbA1c thing is a bit like weight loss - the closer you get to your goal, the harder it gets. And you can’t be on your A Game every single day/week/month. As humans we naturally fluctuate.
Just saw my endo today, and like you, I didn’t hit the numbers I was hoping to. Although I was encouraged when he said my monitor download numbers don’t match my A1C, so he ordered a test for anemia, and a fructosis test (or something of that sort…blood sugar results for the last 3 weeks rather than the last 3 months). Seems we’re always looking for answers “why,” but I truly believe that sometimes there is no answer, it just “is,” so don’t beat yourself up too much. I think you will do great with a pregnancy, and you don’t have to be perfect:)
