Clee, I’m sorry you’re not feeling your best. I’ve always had this blue funk feeling, most of my life, and usually I was able to manage it okay… I could distract myself, or find things to occupy my mind… but for two occasions: when I had uncontrolled/undiagnosed Hypothyroidism, and when I had uncontrolled/undiagnosed Diabetes. Any time my thyroid gets wacky, or my BG numbers go up drastically, I get blue… For NO reason at all. My last really big depressive episode I had to be hospitalized… and yeah, I had no situational/circumstantial reasons to feel bad, at all. Once I got the numbers under control, my Depression went away… and I don’t take any pills now. I don’t think this will be the case for every situation, but I do think it helps immensely… to keep a tighter control on D, or look to see if we have any Thyroid issues.
Also… I feel much happier not being happy all the time. lol I don’t know if that makes sense, but I am just happy being a realist… and not having to focus on being “optimistic” for everything, all the time. heh I tend to think that sometimes when we are way too perky about everything, it’s like we live in this clueless daze, and then when bad things happen we’re unprepared and unready to deal with them… I especially hate those “motivational” posters… they depress me the most. You know, the ones that are like “Strength” and some lame caption below going on about “Facing the storms of life” or some crap. heh I prefer “demotivational posters” hehe…
I dunno why, but they make me laugh at myself and my circumstances a LOT, and make me feel someone "gets it" rather than sort of... preaching at me because I feel blue, or I'm not "perky" enough... or some other nonsense. :) Happiness and joy and optimism have a place in the world, imo, but not to take the place of reality... I know people right now that post all kinds of "positivisms" on their Facebook, and they do absolutely not ONE thing that their "quotes" and "positive thoughts" tell them to do... lol It's just some empty notion... that they don't realize it's empty.
My, look at how I’ve rambled… Clee… The blues are not always bad. DO check on your Thyroid, or Diabetes control, before embarking on any more medications, though. I didn’t, and as a result I had a major seizure from all the meds they had me on… And try to hang in there. Know that lots of people are in a similar boat… and feel like you do… And perhaps explore your creative side… I take up photography, or poetry… or I snuggle with my cat, I dunno. Best of luck.