It appears that despite my best work at being positive about my diabetes, I have hit a real funk or depression about it. It started when the CDE that I saw, told me that I knew just about as much as she could teach me, and that more visits would be (in kind words) a waste of time, hers or mine? Anyway, then the prednisone for two weeks, and numbers that I've never seen higher and higher. I ceased to care. Hubby was getting rid of chocolate at work, and figured I could manage having it in the house --- WRONG! To make it short, my A1C was up from 6.1 to 7.1; my weight was up from 179 to 192 and I saw daily numbers that made giving up a thought. But I am tough, and I know that death or worse is not an option for me. So today, I put on my big girl pants, and went for my quarterly diabetic check, Doc was very supportive, gave me all kinds of ideas on new exercise, supported my swimming to continue, hooked me back up with the CDE if only to go over my eating plan...which I need a person to check in with to keep me honest. And the nurses are going to weigh me in every two weeks and jump up and down at every 1/2 lb lost.....at least for now. I am my own worst enemy....I need ideas, books, movies, sayings, whatever that I can turn to when the whole thing gets me into that funk. Ideas, nothing to heady, just how to stay positive, on top of life, and not beating me up. My goal for my next appt in August is to be down 10 lbs; and to have an A1C of 6.1 again. I can do this, I know I can....I'm worth it, I want to live long enough to move to the Mts. and be an old woman at the top. Ideas?
Sorry you're going through such a rough patch, Kate. Perhaps you need some talk therapy to help you. It's hard to see the way out when you're mired in the muck of high blood sugar, gaining weight, and the attendant increasing insulin resistance.
I attended the Diabetes Unconference a few weeks back and we talked about the emotional and psychological challenges with living with diabetes. People kept saying, it's OK to ask for help. It's nothing to feel shame about.
Are there any face-to-face support groups that you might attend? I know that spending the weekend with 90 other people with diabetes was therapeutic for everyone. Maybe a local hospital has a peer support group. I fear the "sd" in your screen name means South Dakota and you might live in a sparsely populated region.
Maybe you could attend a diabetes conference. The Taking Control of Your Diabetes group conducts several regional conferences every year. I went to one last month and found it encouraging.
Try to do something kind for yourself every day. Treat yourself as you would a dear friend.
Take a deep breath and relax, you have done a lot with a lot more to do. One day at a time,
Doing it for yourself, )
Let me know how you are doing tomorrow, in a few days or next week.
HUGS! You can do this sdkate! One day at a time. One bg at a time. What confidence your CDE has in you! As far as ideas, I find just reading blogs, talking and chatting on Tud, and lurking on twitter DOC helps with that feeling of being alone. ANd it is okay to tell the CDE that you do better when you meet with her every two weeks.
Terry you are right sd does mean South Dakota, and your are right again, sparse population.We used to have two diabetic support groups, but you know, small town USA doesn't have people with problems or in need of support, so no one came, and finally the hospitals decided that if no one shows up there's no need for support. I do have a great PA, who took much time for me today, and lined me up again with the CDE just for a food/menu/ etc check. Hoping this is the kick I need or want.Thanks, though for understanding.