Feeling Sorry for Myself

I just feel like having a moan.
Since being diagnosed with diabetes at17 I’ve insisted on not being stopped or slowed down by this annoying disease and so far I’ve managed that. Until now.
I want to get pregnant-yesterday, but because of my diabetes I have to wait. Wait until I have a pump (done). Wait until I figure out all of the settings (in process) Get my BGs under control…and I want to get pregnant now!
Then when I am pregnant I know it’ll be a whole lot of work. Not such a bad thing except for the fact that I live very far from my family and based on past travel and jet lag experience, I don’t think I’ll be able to visit them for the whole 9 months because my sugars tend to go crazy. Again, hemmed in by this annoying disease. And I want to have more than one baby. But all I hear is about how hard it is and how a lot of moms don’t want to have to do it too many times. But I want a bunch of babies and always have, and I’m 31 and need to get going! But I can’t because I don’t have the go ahead.
Anyway. Moan over. Thanks for listening.

Although each of our stories are unique, I can definitely relate to yours. We waited two years until I could get my A1c low enough (I only got it down to 6.5 before pregnancy). It is a lot of work, but the work once you are actually pregnant feels a lot more “worth it” than the pre-pregnancy preparation work (which is also important, but doesn’t always feel that way!). I am currently 22 weeks along. Being pregnant is not easy and it is a lot of work, but the preparation time will help to make it easier and to give you more confidence!

I can also relate to being far from family. I also live on the other side of the Atlantic from my family and this meant that I am not traveling to the USA during my pregnancy (which is largely because I don’t have insurance that will cover my diabetes in the USA). My mother and I have been talking on Skype everyday. This helps a lot. After my husband, she is the second most involved and informed about my pregnancy, even though we can’t meet (WHICH IS HARD!). I will go 1.5 years without going home, but my family is coming to visit me after the birth. If some of your family can come and visit, then that would be great.

Anyway, just wanted to reply to your moan and wish you all the best at figuring out your settings and getting your blood sugar down! In hindsight, I am thankful that I spent time learning how to control my blood sugars and adjust my pump settings. All that I learned in those two years gives me a lot more confidence now! You will need to make adjustments to your basals and boluses frequently due to pregnancy hormones. I make those changes with my endo at our weekly meetings or via email, but many women make the changes on their own, which can make sense because things can change from week to week (or more often!). So it is important to begin to understand how to change your pump settings. Now is a great time to practice. I always try to guess the changes that my endo will make and then see if I can learn from that. The book PUMPING INSULIN by John Walsh is also a GREAT resource for learning.

You also may want to start charting your cycle, as this will help you when you are trying to get pregnant and it will help to know the date of becoming pregnant.

Sharon- We all feel sorry for ourselves sometimes. It’s part of having a chronic disease that is constantly being dragged behind us.

I, too, do not ALLOW this dang thing to bring me down. Most people who know me (unless we’re close) don’t even know I’m type 1 at all. And when they find out, they’re surprised because I seem like I have it so “together”. I was in an insulin shock coma and seizure at 2am, revived by my husband and then went to work as normal at 8am the same day. I just keep going too.

I’m currently 17 weeks with our first baby. I’m not on a pump- was allergic to the catheters- went back to shots 4 years ago. I’m not using my Dexcom either. Good old fashioned MDI and BG testing 10+ times per day. I had my A1c down to 6.9% at conception- it had stayed there for about 6 months before we conceived. It’s currently at 6.5% and going strong.

I’ve always wanted 6 kids. But, after being pregnant with this one (and a miscarriage 2010 Fall) it is really difficult and I might have to stop at 2 kids. I don’t know. We’ll see what happens. Since I could not go on the pump, I had to return to using NPH for the first trimester while the baby was developing its organs. NPH was very difficult to manage and I was in 5 insulin shock comas in the first trimester. All only lasted for about an hour until my husband revived me out of them, but all were pretty scary.

Since making it successfully to my second trimester, I’ve switched back to Levemir and have been much more stable. I’m grateful for that. I can’t wait to meet my baby.

So, keep chugging along and it will come to you. It is a lot a lot of work. I mean, a lot. You’re going to need a lot of support. I’ve got my husband, dad, sister, brother, step mom as major support network. I already told them that I’m bringing this baby into this world even if it kills me. The more work you put in now, the more manageable it’ll seem when you’re actually pregnant.

Good luck!

Oh my gosh Sharon, you took the words right out of my head. I live far from family, and also 3+ hours from my specialists, which stresses me out to no end! I’ve been told to “plan, plan, plan” for this, and that I have to “wait, wait, wait” and then as I’m now trying to make a plan with my local doctors, they all act so nonchalant, and like I’m a dumb*ss for trying to be on top of this! It infuriates me, and makes me feel even more down about this whole process. I want more than one child, but who knows if I’ll run into fertility issues once I’m “allowed” to start trying? I feel that as of lately as I’ve gotten older, and had diabetes for more years, it’s getting more difficult to manage, and the thought of messing things up during pregnancy has got me terrified as well. Some days are better than most—i feel up about things and try to stay positive, but today, as I read your post, and I’m sick (yet again) with my wonderful immune system, and am being nagged by my Dexcom with roller coaster BG’s, I feel your pain!! I know we can do it–many strong women with Diabetes have been and are currently doing it (kudos to all of you out here at TuD, you are inspiring that’s for sure) but we have to take one step at a time! If you ever need to chat, I’m here :slight_smile:

I could have written this myself! I am a 24 year old mother of an almost 5 year old boy and was unable to conceive for 2 years then they found my diabetes and halted my TTC process, I am just now about to get the green light again and I am scared to death but want to get pg and get it OVER with already! Stay strong and hang in there, the wait I’m sure will be worth it when you have a healthy baby in your arms :slight_smile: (I’m talkin to myself here) Oh and I too live about 9hours from any family so I can totally relate!

All with different stories, yes…different things to moan about. We’ve been dealing with infertility for 4 years, and just when we get the green light to visit a RE, I get my diabetes diagnosis…and I just turned 33, have a history of early menopause in my family, and now have to battle the prospect of diabetic complications with IVF treatments on top of everything else.

That’s my moan of the day.