Will I ever get there?

Its all that I ever can think about…all day and all night. I want to be a mom more that anything in this world and it is my biggest fear that it will never be able to happen for me. It dose not seam far at all that women can just start there families when ever they want to and yet for us we have to work and work at it and pretty much go through hell to even get the go ahead to try and even then who knows if you will even get pregnant!

I am 23 years old and have been a diabetic since I was 16. My whole family on my fathers side is also so I have seen what this disease dose to people. My grandma died at 50 once she got put on dialysis and she said she was not going to do it she had been through enfo. My dad has had it sense age 6 and is now 44. He is not in the best of shape but he thinks that he is enviceable. Any way my point is that I want to have a baby like now before my dad is too old and or sick to be there for it and also I want to have my kids while I am young so that I also can enjoy life with them.

I guess that I am just rambling on now but I just needed to get this out and let some one know how frustrating this is and I know that you have all been here and might be able to give me some hope that one day it will be possible.

BTW- my last A1C was a 7.6 and has been that the last two times so it is coming down cuz I was at a 11.4!!! but still far from the “ok you can try now”…

I know – it doesn’t seem fair! I spent about two years getting my A1c down before pregnancy. I got it down to 6.5 and my endo said that we could start trying. Now I’m 26 weeks pregnant and my A1c’s have been 6.2-6.3 during pregnancy. My blood sugars have been awesome – so I actually expected it to be below 6, but I still haven’t seen that.

Congrats on the AWESOME improvement in your A1c! That is amazing! You will get there too – don’t give up! Keep making one more change to improve your blood sugars. For me the BIGGEST help was beginning to keep detailed logs of my blood sugars, insulin and food. It really helped me and my doctor find patterns and get things under control!

I think you need to relax and stop stressing about it…as soon as you relax and stop thinking about it…it will happen

It’s funny to me that you posted this message this week as I just got word that a friend of mine who has Polyovarian cycstic disease is 9 weeks pregnant! She was on some fertility treatments that didn’t work, tried for 3 years and decided to give up trying. Two weeks later she got pregnant! I think that’s just the way life is.

Congrats on getting your A1c down. It’s all hard work and you should be proud of yourself.

I understand your frustration first-hand. I had two miscarriages when I was 20 and 21. Even though the first of those pregnancies was unexpected, I wanted to be a mom and was willing to make every sacrifice I could for my baby. I carried that tragedy around with me for a long time. To this day I don’t understand why some women can blink and get pregnant and have the perfect pregnancy then book a c-section and whoop there’s a baby. After I had the miscarriages I asked my OB-Gyn if I could have kids and he said there was no point investigating if I didn’t plan to have them at the time (which then I didn’t), so I waited 6 years for an answer. Now I have two boys, 4, and 2, and even though the road to having a family was rough and the pregnancies were at times unbareable, it seemed like a short amount of time compared to the future ahead. And when Theoren is having a fit because I won’t let him grab all the greeting cards in Walmart I still feel it was all worth it.

I know it is tough and hard to be perfect all the time! It is definitely another full-time job that we all have! Congrats on lowering your a1c, that is great! keep it going, you can do it! My doc gave me the “go ahead to try” when my a1c was at 7.2, she said that I should try to stay at 7.2 or below. I am currently at 7.4 now and just found out I am pregnant! I am not worried at all, but am working even harder to keep my bg’s in perfect control! I am striving for under 7. These are the best a1c’s I have ever had, over the 20 plus years I have been type 1 diabetic. I did have a miscarriage 6 months ago, but, the doctors said that it had nothing to do with my 7.2 a1c. They said that they are very common and had nothing to do with my diabetes.
You are YOUNG! I am almost 31. You have plenty of time to work hard to lower your a1c, Don’t give up! you can do it and it will happen!

Amy, What are you doing to work harder to keep your BG’s in perfect control? I feel SO out of control and am trying like crazy to get my A1C down. I have my next endo appt in a month, and am hoping for the “go ahead to start trying” though, I feel that it will again be unlikely. I feel like one day I’m on top of things, and then the next my dosing seems to change like crazy! I also have a CGM (for some months now) which is great for showing my the direction that my BG is headed, but I get so frustrated, that even though I catch a high reading fairly quickly, I don’t feel confident in the correction? It’s like the insulin takes so long to start working on that high, that I get anxious, and don’t know if I should wait it out to see if comes down, or give more insulin, risking (and fearing) a low for being too over agressive? I get that our doses will change, day in and day out, but how do you aggressively treat your highs to get them back under control? Are you eating the same foods every day? Same times? Just desperately seeking some advice in hopes of becoming better at getting things under control! Thanks a million!

Keep your chin up! Sounds like you are doing great at getting that A1C down. It was nice to read your post and realize that today, someone out there, feels exactly the same way I do! I do sometimes get down with how unfair it is that what seems like everyone but me can just revel in the 'surprise-I’m-pregnant-no symptoms-9mos later I have a perfect baby and can take care of them with no other worries- part of life, but then have to pick myself back up and try to do the best that I can in this situation. I will send good thoughts your way, and as someone else mentioned you are young, and doing great, so I’m sure in no time things will work out :slight_smile:

Thank you everyone for all of the good thoughts I hope that it will work out and I know that I am young I guess its just that I have seen what diabetes has done to my family and took people so young and I guess that is why I dont want to wait. Again thank you I guess I just needed to get it all out there and be able to talk to people that know how I feel and what I have to go through.

I can relate to the feeling. When I was first diagnosed, all the docs told me I wouldnt be able to have children. That was a sucker punch because my whole life I wanted to have babies- to build a family and teach them how to be strong and to survive in this world, to make it better. I was diagnosed at age 14 and went to a bunch of charity functions aftwerward. So many people with Type 1 were dying at age 35-40 years old, that the majority of my diabetes life I thought that was when my time was going to be up. I threw in the towel for a few years and let D get the best of me.

Then I got pissed. I’m the only Type 1 in my family. The only other diabetic is my grandfather with recently diagnosed Type 2. I had basically no knowledge about the entire disease, let alone the different types and different treatments. Then, to add that this disease was raping me of my teen years, of my hopes and dreams, and topped it off with not being able to have my own babies- to feel them growing inside my belly- to watch them grow and see the resemblances to me and my husband.

I’ve ached for a baby of my own since I was 17 years old. I had a lot of trouble getting my glucose levels under control for years. Insulin resistance, insulin allergies, pump failures, insulin shock comas, ketoacidosis, etc. The list goes on and on. I thought I would NEVER earn the right to be a mother- but I was going to try my damnedest to make it to that goal because that’s all that I’ve ever wanted. Despite what my doctors told me, I brought my A1c down to 6.5% last year. And despite what they still told me, I conceived our first baby last summer. We lost her at 9 weeks. I conceived again 5 weeks later. She is now almost 22 weeks gestational and holding on. I am hoping to meet her in 15 weeks.

I’m afraid. I am working really hard and diligently to make sure my BG levels stay balanced. I’ve been to see so many doctors in the past few months- but they know that I will only trust myself and listen to myself when it comes to medications. I havent had an A1c since January, but I’m betting this next one will be a lot closer to 6.0% with balanced BG readings. I hope that I’ve done enough to keep my baby girl healthy and strong.

Diabetes sucks. Literally, it sucks the life right out of most of us. It drains our hopes and our dreams and then starts pulling our loved ones down with it. I wish Diabetes were a person so I could strangle it. Then I’d bloodlet it.

But since it’s not… and I’m not crazy… I have to work with it to make sure that I can have the best life possible. If not for myself, then for my daddy. If not for him, then for my husband. If not for them, then for my baby girl- whom I’ve never met but who already has every piece of my heart beating just for her.

You can do this. You’re already so much improved based on your recent A1c. We diabetics, we have to overcome so many obstacles. And I’ve definitely had the thought pass through my head like “Crack addicts can healthy babies, so why can’t I?” Then I sit down to watch that TLC program when I’m feeling really down “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant” and figure, “If they went through their whole 9 months of pregnancy, drinking, smoking, partying, and whatnot else, and they didn’t know they were pregnant- at least I am aware of what’s happening and taking every measure possible to make sure baby comes out healthy. I’ve got to have a healthy baby.”

If none of this works, then come talk to us. We’ve all been (for the most part) in your shoes- or at least a great pair of knock-offs! Good work and good luck.

Thank you so very much fro your post this is the very same way that I feel. That everyone else can just have there babies and not even think twice about it. Even people that dont want or don’t take care of them can just get to have and experienced this wonderful gift that we have to work so very hard to get to. Also it is hard for me because I sit here and look like on my facebook and see all of the girls that I went to school with and they have had there babies and got there families. Then they ask me when am I going to start and that I am the next one. If only they know the heart ache that I go through everyday wishing that I had a little baby to hold. That is why I am so happy that I have found you guys.

You are so very welcome. I hope I helped. I’ve just friend-ed you. Let me know what’s happening. I’ll try to help as much as I can. I’ve been through a lot of different treatments and if you have questions on anything, I’ve likely been in a similar situation. For example, I’ve been on shots and Metformin for 3 months last year to get my A1c under control.

Good luck and don’t let it get you down. I know it’s easier said than done, but if you’re stressed and depressed, it will make the whole thing more difficult to withstand. Diabetics are fighters. Just keep moving forward.

Wow Marps…this is beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I feel like you wrote the words from right off my own heart. Thank you so much for putting this out there.

I just wanted to add my voice of support. I started trying to bring mine down in early 2007 before I got engaged and then it was a year and a half after we were married before I finally got it down in the 6s and then 9 months later before we even got pregnant. I had a great pregnancy and my daughter is now 14 months old. You CAN and WILL achieve it. It takes a lot of work and a lot of changes to make a 7.6 into a 6.0. It doesn’t seem fair, but it’s like losing “those last ten pounds.” It’s the smaller jumps that are often harder to make.

Very well said and written marps! I think this is a situation we have all had. I had lots of anger, depression, have even thrown in the towel a bit as well. I have also had lots of years fighting and kicking diabetes ass! lol It’s the blessing/curse of having a chronic condition. We have to work harder, fight harder every day for the simple things that most people don’t even sometimes appreciate. In the end though we are taking pretty good care of ourselves, more than most people ever will. I also feel like I often have a greater joy and appreciation for some things than others cause I had to work so hard to get it. This is such a great community to get support and encouragement, and with enough hard work anything is possible! : )

I am 24 years old and I can totally relate. I have been blessed with a little boy who just turned 5 but struggled with infertility and infertility drugs for over 2.5 years before they found the diabetes. After the diabetes I was told to not try until my diabetes was under control and I have just now been given the “go ahead” a year later to start trying to conceive again which who knows how much longer it will take to actually finally get pregnant in the meantime my friends have all had 1-2 babies while I am still just trying! I know we are not supposed to question God but this will be my one question for God when I get to Heaven, “How come everyone who doesn’t want/deserve a baby have them so easily but those who are mourning for one must wait so long and have such a hardtime?” Hang in there, you are not alone!