Plato once said that “attention to health is life’s greatest hindrance”. A lot of the time it’s easy to think about and focus on the negative side of life with IDDM. Really easy. But I also try really hard to think of the positive aspects. Come on, you know, there are just great things about the big D that make you get up on the morning and say “thank GOD I have THIS!”
Here are just a few I came up with:
In a group hostage situation you can be sure you’ll be among the first to be released, faster than you can jingle your MedicAlert bracelet and say “hey, does anyone have a drink? I’m feeling thirsty …”
You can speak with some authority on the subject of diabetes - unlike say, the subject of the current up-to-date situation in the Middle East - and wow friends and family with statistics and lots of complex, polysyllabic words like “hypoglycaemia”
You can demand regular sex from your partner and justify it on the grounds that it’s part of your medically prescribed exerciser routine
Rort the system and use it to get out of tricky university exams
When friends are arguing about where to go out to eat, you can say “I have to eat NOW” loudly - which usually means that they will exchange worried looks and hurry to the restaurant of your choice, little knowing that really you were just hungry and didn’t feel like Thai
Who wants a fully functional pancreas anyway? It’s so common.
Even though you may have no letters from that secret admirer, you’ll always have diabetes-related junk mail so you can know at least that you’ll have something to pull out of the mailbox in case neighbours are watching
You get to finely hone your swearing abilities with all those times when your BSL isn’t what you expected
Women with diabetes taste sweeter (I’ll leave that to your imagination!)
Enjoy the giddy feeling of living dangerously ALL THE TIME: “Bungy-jumping? A walking tour in Zaire? PAH! I have DIABETES!”
Always good emotional blackmail in a family fight (I’ve heard other people do this …)
When annoying men ask you “why do you always drink Diet Coke? You’re so image- conscious. Girls are always worried about their weight…” you can reply with “I have diabetes” and watch in delight as they turn bright red and mumble an apology.
Thanks to (occasional of course) hypos and very high blood sugars, you can experience unique body sensations and hallucinatory adventures without the use of illegal, expensive drugs: a cheaper night out!
Should you ever meet that special someone and s/he happens to have diabetes, you’ll always have something to talk about during those Awkward Silences. You can also employ unique flirting techniques: “I’ll show you my injection bruises if you show me yours …”
Should you ever NOT meet that special someone on a blind date or otherwise, just pull out your handy drug kit and excuse yourself for a well needed “fix” in the toilet.
Getting a tattoo is a breeze - it just feels like a few more injections than normal (and yes I do have one!)
Amuse yourself by trying to predict exactly what your BSL will be after that piece of sugar-coated mud cake, with honey and ice cream on the side.