I had that happen to me yesterday… It was who I thought was a good friend, too. She said she couldn’t deal with me going on and on about Diabetes anymore. Needless to say, I feel as though if I had had breast cancer and went on about Breast Cancer Awareness, everyone would think I was a great trooper, instead… And not just a “nag”… reminding everyone of what they don’t want to be reminded about…
The way I see it? Their loss. If they want to ignore they warnings and lose a friend, well they are the ones missing out.
you win some you lose some. guess this friend wasn’t for you…
you can add me if you want (coolhand mark)
Yeah, don’t get me wrong… I don’t care about Facebook or about having “as many friends” as possible, or anything like that… But this was a close friend. What bugged me was not that she dropped me… just the reason for it. That she didn’t want to hear about my diabetes anymore. It’s funny how chronic illness sheds a light on friendships and family relationships, sometimes, huh?
Oh my goodness…how totally immature!! Just because your conversation doesn’t revolve around them I suppose…or about bland life, or the “Barbie” life!!! No loss in my mind, better that you know now!! We can’t help but talk about it…it’s there 24/7 in your face. If it was a person who was in your face 24/7…you’d be talking about them (understandably), well…this is the same thing, and if she doesn’t understand that…well, she wasn’t much of a friend!!
i’ll go friend you…and never drop you for D talk …hug
Liz some ppl just don’t understand what an emotional trip we have EVERYDAY! When u try to explain they just don’t get it. (my dad was perfect for that) Atlast it’s just life
Wow a truly insensitive and ignorant thing to say to you. This is a person who has no concept of what it is like to walk in your shoes. Mean people suck.
I think it takes a diabetic to understand a diabetic. I wish I knew of a doctor that has diabetes.
It is definitely possible to talk about diabetes too much.
Your friend was probably looking for a friend (broad interests) to talk to, not someone who talked about a chronic disease all the time.
It may be appropriate HERE to talk about diabetes a lot. In the broader world? Not so appropriate.
I might be moderately well adjusted now but I have many of the traits of Aspberger’s syndrome and if I don’t consciously try to keep it in check, I might get started on a topic and just talk and talk and talk way past anyone else’s interest. Now this is kind of passable in my workplace if I’m talking about work related stuff that I’m obsessed with (after all, it is work!). But outside of tudiabetes and a few other contexts, focusing so much on one topic (e.g. diabetes, or train schedules, or neutrino astrophysics, whatever my obsession is that day) is a very real turn-off and I have come to realize it and can often keep it in check.
As to whether a non-diabetic can ever really grok what it’s like to be a diabetic? I don’t think they ever really “get it”. My wife does a lot better than many others but no, she doesn’t really grok it. We have to accept that, help them adjust, and part of helping them adjust to something they can’t grok, will sometimes consist of education, but other times it will consist of backing off and changing the subject. Really.
And facebook as a way of getting a friend to grok diabetes? That’s well, kinda weird. It’s hard enough to do in person. Was this a person you only knew by E-mail or “in real life” too? I’m too old probably to grok bookface the way you young guys do though!!! So I gotta know not to press the issue too much.
Talking about diabetes all the time? Reminds me of the Simpsons where Ned insisted his sons Todd’s hobbies consisted of “being quiet during trips, clapping with songs and diabetes”. I try to be a more interesting person than that :-). And no, I don’t think of diabetes as a hobby!
i hear ya. spacelookers smell funny. lol
ive only ever deleted one person because she was bad mouthing my g/f and being a real pain. all the peeps on mine i know. sounds good but theres not a lot of them. lol
ive noticed that if you keep talking about the same subject all the time it does wind them up. doesn’t matter what its about. football, cars, bikes, shopping, weather, tv, health, world domination.
but its at times when you need your friends that they show what they are really like…
I haven’t had any drop I did get a “OK I get it your Diabetic” I laughed it off and replied posting info on Diabetes probably does more for awareness and general knowledge then the stupid and cryptic I like to put it (insert sexual innuendo) comments for Breast Cancer awareness did or last years what color are your undies crap, Of course I personally know 90% of the people on my FB.
I only set up a facebook page after conversing with a few other Mom’s of kids with T1, so my page is totally taken over with discussions of diabetes. But that’s what we deal with day to day in our lives… theirs… mine… our children. If one of my family members that is also on facebook or an old friend from school chooses to drop me, well so be it. We all need support from time to time and the ability to exchange information that facebook allows for, in a quick update format is ideal.
Try not to take it to heart.
I wouldnt sweat it. Problem is trying to hang on to your sanity and keep things in check, you do tend to talk about it…
Im starting to question how real a friend she/he was… IF they were a true friend, they would just shrug it off as you being you or realize that your not going to say “Oh im fine” when your not… Irks me when people ask how your doing who don’t want to really hear how you actually are…
If this person cant deal with hearing about this aspect of you, perhaps they arent a good fit… Sigh…
people are dumb and self-centered. Anything we can do to raise awareness, talk openly about it and educate people the better.
I agree with Tim. I don’t do social media (except for here, of course), but I have definitely gotten feedback from people I know that I talk too much about diabetes. I heard it second hand from my best friend’s husband that she thinks I’m “obsessed with” diabetes. I wasn’t surprised by that info because I could tell by her reactions. And, btw she is an RN! I wrote her an e-mail telling her she really didn’t understand the degree of “obsession” that is necessary to manage my condition. I told her she didn’t need to respond to the e-mail but I just wanted to let her know she didn’t get it. I have seen the look in other people’s eyes too when they start to glaze over and have learned to respond with a lot briefer more general explanations. I know my friends and family care about me and the fact that I have health concerns, but the details? Not so much. That’s why I come here so much and why I’ve started a group for type 1 women in my area (the second meeting is tomorrow; I can’t wait!). As for people who don’t want to be your friend because “you talk too much about diabetes”? Two things: I too was wondering if it was a real life friend or just an online friend. Some people might disagree with me but I’ve learned the hard way in the past that online friends may SEEM close, but it’s not the same. So I learned a long time ago to try not to be hurt by anything said online (not that I always succeed). My real life friends who I know get irritated with my talking a lot about diabetes I know wouldn’t blow me off because of it. And if they did? Well, I agree with what someone else said: they aren’t really a good friend. I had a friend who talked a lot about sports despite knowing I have zero interest in sports. I finally just said (gently), “you know, there’s a lot of things we have in common to talk about but sports just isn’t one of them!” Now if I call and a game is on, instead of trying to tell me all about it, I just say “enjoy the game, I hope they win”. and we agree to talk later.
Yes, this is a real life friend. And I know some of you may not like social media, and that’s okay… But try not to focus on THAT, on this discussion, as that is not the point. I could care less if someone ads me, or drops me from Facebook… I more care that someone doesn’t want to be a friend anymore because they don’t want be reminded of my illness, or read my sharing the occasional news or other diabetes related posts, etc. I know some of you have hinted that I talk a lot… but you are not my friends on fb and you don’t know how much I share, or don’t share. lol I don’t bombard postings every day/hour/second to everyone… I don’t blog every day… I don’t post continuous news article after news article, nor do I message my friends with links for them to read… (Which these are things a lot of my Diabetes friends do…) I will share my daily struggles, if they come up, just like anyone else shares theirs… It just so happens that many of mine happen to deal with Diabetes. It’s my life now. It is what it is. lol If they don’t like it, well… too bad for them.
I just wanted to hear stories from others who this may have also happened to them… I don’t have Asperger’s, I don’t obsess, or overfocus… I don’t need to fix me… heh I just wanted to relate to someone else.
i have also on some other ‘social sites’ before, not medical.
someone said they just loved ‘bantering’ (another word for ranting and raving, a type of chitty chitty chit chat).
she’s right, this cyberspace, internet thing has a certain component of ‘bantering’ in its makeup
banter all you want, because you balance it with some really really intersesting stuff !
if your friend cant handle the 'bantering, well yes, they should EXIT the ‘chat room’…bye, seeya, asta la vista, goodbye.
this is, afterall, a 'social network, thing,
although there are some basic ‘etiquette rules’ which are to be followed (respect, etc)
people are entitled to be themselves…
so be yourself, find yourself, and keep moving forwards…
even if you have to leave some friends behind (or they might even leave you, hehe )…
so, drop the ‘bantering’ (NO DONT DROP THE BANTERING !!), or keep being yourself
Yes I have. I had a friend tell me that all of my conversations either include work, diabetes, or my boyfriend. (Well, my life pretty much revolves around those 3 things. Diabetes 24 x 7 = 168 hrs per week. Work 40 hrs per week. Boyfriend doesnt get anywhere near that much time with me.) I wanted to say “I really didn’t want to hear about your kids soccer game” but I though I could be a bigger person. I tell you what, though, I don’t think I have ever been around her for more than 30 minutes wihtout her saying the word “soccer”.
There is also the “I have no idea what she is talking about, so why does she keep talking?” factor. I am an engineer and I run into that sometimes, too, when I am trying to explain something and I realize people’s eyes roll back in their heads because they have no idea what I am talking about or I give too much detail, and they get bored.
Don’t know what to say execept “you are not alone.”
Yes, my sister, who I see maybe twice a year. It was the first time I was with my family after being diagnosed. My sister never asked me how I felt about this radical change in my life. I was feeling low & not up to an outing. Stupid me attempted to explain that lows wipe me out, that it was difficult to adjust to this disease that demands 24/7 attention. I didn’t go into details. She rolled her eyes, told me to be positive & not dwell on the negative. She added that no one wanted to hear about it.
Felt like I had been shot in the chest. Do think I felt my heart crack. I ran from the room in anger & cried. Don’t think I’ll ever get over that incident.