Help, I feel so out of control!

OK so I was diagnosed with t1d back in October. I didn't have a huge reaction at the time as I have always lived an active lifestyle and have eaten healthy for a while. I have no problem with needles or blood so I didn't think it would be that much of a lifestyle change. However, now I feel entirely differently. In the past, I handled stress through restricting, binging, and purging. I frequently only ate one meal a day and would go a few days without eating. I have never really enjoyed food and always just ate because it was something I had to do. NOW I am incredibly stressed and feel like I have no control in my life. My whole life now has to revolve around food, how much I eat, counting carbs, when I eat. And I have to eat so much more often. Because I get so stressed about eating, I've had a lot of lows recently. All I've ever really felt I had control over my was what I put in my body and now I don't have that, my diabetes has it.
How have you guys dealt with past unhealthy eating habits? Do you have any advice to make all the eating less stressful?

Hi Dana825

Id love to help you. Have you visited the website I run? My story is on the about us section of the site as well as my email. I have struggled with the very same things you have struggled with; and there is hope, and life out of the vicious cycle you find yourself in right now. The path is different for every person, and Id love to help you find yours!

As someone who has had an eating disorder since age 14, it was an intense reality check when I was diagnosed a little over two years ago at age 25. Aside from my issues with food and body image, I am a very healthy person. Unlike you, I do actually enjoy food, I just had/have a very unhealthy relationship to it. You are only a little over half a year into remapping your existence in order to live healthy and happy with this disease. It will be different for everyone, but it took me about a year to stop obsessing about the amount of food and how often and to start taking my insulin properly (not omitting it). I did seek help for this, I went to therapy and even visited an eating disorder clinic that specialized in diabetic patients. Do you like making lists? if you know it will be difficult for you to eat a certain amount of food in a given day, consider making a list of foods you are willing to eat in order to stay alive and healthy. Make another list of foods that you know will bring you anxiety and choose not to eat them, even if someone else (a doctor, nutritionist, family member) thinks otherwise. Figure out what you can eat that will make you feel good, not guilty or ashamed and keep you healthy! Also, you will find that the lower card you eat and the less bingeing you are able to do, the less insulin you take over all, which equates to more balance and less lows. Good luck and feel free to private message me.


Totally relate Dana! When I was diagnosed, I thought of it as a blessing that would force me to end my eating disorder. Instead, it just sent me to the restricting end of the spectrum :(

After treatment to help me with the ED, I'm back to eating, but now am stuck in the binge/purge cycle. It's getting to the point where I too am incredibly stressed & feel totally out of control.

A therapist has been telling me that I need to grieve the diagnosis, as well as other difficult life experiences. She thinks this will make it easier to accept the hand I've been dealt & learn to care for myself (instead of kill myself) with food. Still not entirely sure how this grieving thing is supposed to work, but I think there might be something too it. At the beginning, I figured I was an adult, & could handle everything, so I just stuffed away my feelings. Unfortunately, they're all coming back out & are getting harder to ignore.

You're in my prayers!

You aren't alone. Asha's website is a great place to start, but I would encourage you to seek local support with a face-to-face component. I went to a therapist for individual and group body image therapy, and both helped me tremendously. Even after 30 years of T1, I recognize that I will always have issues with food, but neither food nor my diabetes will go away. We have learned to "coexist" so that I can stay as healthy as I can.
Yes, we have lost the ability to decide to eat or not eat (hypoglycemia is my nemesis), but with therapy, it does get better.
I wish you well,

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