First of all let me put out that Jacob is 99 % compliant with bolusing and relatively proactive about his diabetes with a fairly healthy self esteem and attitude in general. BUT lately his diabetes has been weighing heavy on ME! So this is probably more of a vent than anything else. His blood sugars have been not so good the past few day, perhaps brewing a cold, most likely a partial occlusion the other day. I guess my issue is I try very hard not to be a nag, I participate in his care of course but try to stand back more and step up a bit more when things are out of hand.. ok probably should change out your pod but then he usually will do so on his terms ok I get that and I know his psychology if it is his decision/decisions then he is in a better place with his D. He has more of a deal with what I have to and move on attitude than he used to, much less brooding over things. I really am proud but I still get heavy hearted over the general decisions he makes with regards to lack of exercise and tons of carbs consumption! He only thinks serious action is required if he is over 300. I am glad he is not obsessive about his numbers I just don't want him to be complacent. I need to let him do this on his terms, which as far as 15 year olds go I think he is doing awesome. It just eats at me that if I was in his shoes I would be so much more proactive, I worry that this will be his style as an adult, I see people working sooo hard here with their low carb diets and exercise and want him to have this as his normal. My husband and I are active, healthy eaters for the most part so we are providing a good example. And it still just drives me nuts to be stressing over him and know that I really cant truly vent to anyone, at work or with friends because they just don't get all that is involved. Just having a bad week I guess, I really am super proud of Jacob and I think for a teen his habits are good just hoping as an adult his choices with be better. Thanks all for listening! Amy
I'm not sure exactly what to say as I was 16 when DXed and it was pretty much *always* my responsibility to take care of. Sometimes to my eyes it seems like D parents can be "helicoptery" in that they are doing everything 24-7 for the kids whereas I never had that experience. I'm sure that was by design and that we all kind of talked about it together during the intial stages but I went on a class trip to Europe after dx and subsequently had other adventures all off on my own.
I didn't have *nearly* the control I do now, recall some 8ish A1C "you need to fix this..." conversations with doctors, passing out and waking up at the ER and all that sort of stuff. I'm sure it was nerve-wracking for my friends but, since we partied pretty hard, I was by no means the only person passing out, although mine tended to be the morning after rather than during the festivities. This was somewhat useful in that it led me to faux-carb counting/ MDI, banging away units here and there as if insulin were something I bought at a Grateful Dead concert. When things fell into place for me, they seem to have really fallen into place although I was 37 when that happened. To anyone who is younger, I would suggest that getting ahead of your body, being in shape, exercising, etc. is *****MUCH***** easier to do when you're young. At school, it's all about teams, etc. which can leave non-team sport kids out. My daughter does dancing and, when she made the pom squad in April, took the initiative and utterly revamped her diet/ workout habits, pays more attention to what she eats and has gotten the results we would have expected. Maybe if you can give your son some D space while riding him on diet/exercise things something will click? I can't buy potato chips any more since while formerly junior would eat 1/2 of them, she won't touch them so I will eat them all. Maybe do a family 5K or offer to do one and he can bring a friend. If he's 14-5, he can probably train for a month and blow you and your husband off the road (depending on how active you are, of course, the dude who owns the local running store is 50-something and ran a 16:13 at the local Turkey Trot last year...)
Bribery has also been somewhat effective for us however she came to the food/ workout thing on her own. I'm always "let's run!" and she came once but bailed on 3 miles at about 1/2 way, I kept running thinking of some sort of inspirational lecture and came home to find her doing pushups, planks, etc., dripping with sweat. I was sad to not have a running buddy but shut up about lecturing!
I think both you and Jacob are doing great, Amy; for him in doing what he needs to do 99% of the time - that's a lot! and for you in trying to let go and trust him. It does sound like you lead by example which to me is great parenting, and with teens a lot more effective than anything they might see as lecturing. I know you said in the past he was resistant to talking about his D but I wonder if maybe he's gotten to a point where he'd be comfortable with starting some sort of peer support system, whether it's logging on here and going to a teen forum, finding teen support groups or activity groups (JDRF) or going to camp. Peer support is so great at that age!
Keep up the good work!
It's tough being a parent, as well as being a diabetic - I have both perspectives, as I was diagnosed at 16, and now have a child diagnosed at 2 (now 9).
There is a points system you can use for motivation - if you google 'diabetes points system' you will find one. You can then tie this to itunes rewards or some other non-food reward. Teens tend to love this!
thanks all for the advise and support, sometimes it just helps being heard by folks that really get it! Jen I think what I meant with Jacob and reacting to over 300 is he just kind of rolls with the 200's but if he pulls an over 300 he makes sure to let me know. I truly think he is doing the best he can being developmentally a teen! I think it would be hard for a hungry teen to go low carb... I was just feeling alone with my worry and concern. there are days weeks that may roll by pretty smooth then you go and get a crazy week with unexplained highs, some less than perfect decisions, pod failures and things get a bit heavy. again I am really grateful that Jacob rolls with it better than I do! I guess we all do the best we can with what ever tools we have and start over when it gets a little to stormy. thanks for being there all! amy
Teenage boys have tremendous growth spurts which cause hunger. Most teenage boys eat all the time. Low carb is not going to cut it with this group. I would concentrate on very accurate carb counting and if he is grazing or eating every few hours and he notices he's in the high 200s or 300s to do two things: One test two hours after every meal and correct and (2) know how high his blood sugar should be at the two hour mark in order to come back to baseline at 3.5 hours (ie., if he's 300 two hours postprandial he can give himself an enough extra insulin to bring him down to 180 or 200 at the two hour mark even if the pump does not allow him to correct. at no time should our DDs BS be 300; she will stay high). He can also utilize increased temp basals over an evening if he is going to graze. Even though we are not huge meat eaters in our house, teen boys like meat, it is carb free and I would have meat at dinner and on hand as a choice for snacks. Ribs, cold cooked barbequed chicken, cooked meatballs, I would keep on a shelf in the fridge and encourage him to snack on these as they are zero carbs