My diabetes is a mess as am I a lot of the time because of it… but at least occasionally in the midst of being out of control I can choke back the fear that this chronic condition is going to get the better of me and I can poke some fun back at it. Maybe this is no laughing matter but I am past crying over my A1c levels and off chart liver enzyme tests…
I have a Bayer Contour meter right now (it seems like the preferred meter company gets juggled a lot with my substandard insurance) and when a glucose level is anything above 600 you are so screwed already that it just assumes not tell you exactly how far beyond the 600 mark you have gotten. What it does instead is put “HI” up on the digital display.
Exasperated once again by my yo-yo style of glucose management and pondering how much my internal organs hated me for going from a 45 to this flashing “HI” in just a matter of a few hours I stand alone in my office while my co-workers are on a smoke break… “HI” I say to it (yes I am speaking to the meter) “HI!!! IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?” I raise my hand with a mocking wave leaving only one finger up rather than the customary 5 of greetings and farewells. “Well then “HI” to you too and screw you” you little purple abomination!"
I accept the moment as it is, I am struggling and I am not sure how to make that better but now I am laughing at myself. So I grab the bottle of lyspro and a syringe that is always in my desk drawer and keep trying to do this right. I may not be getting better for whatever reason my body just seems to be fighting itself to the death, but somehow even this frustration that drives me to speak at inanimate objects (insulting them none the less) is far better than surrender.