I already deal with severe depression and 2010 starts like this... please wake me in 2011

Mental and Emotional Wellness
1

2010 has started off worse than any other year I can recall.

Friday January 1st I received a call from my sisters house saying I needed to get over there ASAP something was wrong with my niece… by the time I got there they had her in the ambulance doing chest compressions. What started off as a simple asthma attack turned into cardiac arrest. While they where treating her for the asthma and heart failure they transported her to the nearest hospital. She was immediately put on life support as she couldn’t breath on her own. The next day January 2nd the decided she should be transported to a hospital that would be able to as they stated “be able to give a more accurate diagnoses” already knew that didn’t sound very encouraging. About an hour after she arrived at the other hospital they realized while they were caring for her asthma and heart failure what they didn’t realize was she had a brain aneurysm. Not their fault there was a lot going on and she wasnt conscious to tell anyone her head hurt. On January 3 rd they pronounced her brain dead. She had signed her organ donor card so on the 4th with me and her boyfriend by her side they took her off life support. I know it was the right thing to do and they said her organs were viable and she saved 6 lives that day including an 8 year old little girl.

I am proud to know she made that choice but it hurts to know she is gone. My niece Marci was a 28 year old mother of two an 8 year old boy and a 3 year old girl. I am normally the one who deals with death very logically but I can not make sense of this one. She was cremated and one of the hardest things was when her little boy asked “How did the fit mommy in that little box?” He kind of came up with his own answer and right or wrong I let him have it because how do you tell an 8 year old that they burned his mom. his answer was is it because mom is an angel now and she only needs a little room just for sleeping… until he is a bit older and can understand cremation that is where it will be left. Starting this week both kids will be attending the center for grieving children to be evaluated and if they decide that her son needs to know the truth they will be able to help me explain it to him.

Anyhow… I apologize for the length… my heart is crushed… 28 is just way way too young.

Thank you for reading… Barbara

Appreciate what you have today as it may be gone tomorrow!!!

2

Barbara, my heart goes out to you in this sad sad time. No-one can understand what you are feeling right now and i dont profess to either. Just know that you, your niece and her kids are all in my thoughts and prayers. Take time, be sad, cry, scream, do whatever you need to do and remember we are here if you need to chat. Anytime… Take care, stay well, Debi

3

I lost my 18 year old sister last summer. I know when someone is young and healthy it is very confusing and hard to accept.

4

Thank you all for yout caring words and thoughts… I am doing my best to get through this… just sad times.

Thank you
Barbara

5

Barbara,

My sincere condolences to you and your family. I know it is all so hard to comprehend. My husband died 7 years of a heart attack with no warning whatsoever. And, I know there are always questions for God (or whomever is your “higher power.” ) Just try to take it easy, and do like someone else suggested - CRY, SCREAM, RANT, PRAY, TALK to your neice out loud - DO WHATEVER IT TAKES. And I don’t care much for the simlies: it takes time, you’ll feel better about it in the by and by, God needed another angel, etc., Just do what you have to do. Bless you.

6

you are in my prayers. the children are too.

7

This is touching tregdy we only can prey pecae on her soul

Where ever you turn there is
uncertinity ;only death is sure,but even the day
of your death is uncertain
St Augustine

8

Grief is so hard on the mind and soul…I feel for you. The comment about the box is heartbreaking. I can relate as in 1988 I lost my husband,my stepfather who raised me, 2 Uncles and a half sibling who took an overdose. It’s like walking in dark molasses for a season and I really feel for what you’ve expressed here. Hiking helped me, and photography…

9

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. that is not a nice way to start off the year. It is although, absolutely amazing that she saved 6 lives that day. You should be very proud of her. I agree that letting her son understand this in his own way is good until he can realistically understand it. I hope you are doing alright and coping well. If you ever need anyone to talk to or vent to, I'm available.

Kristen