I FEEL good

So, it is Saturday and I am at my part time job at a tanning salon which is my gas and prescription money. I also get free tanning. I know what you are going to say, new evidence links indoor UV exposure to cancer even more than smoking. I have heard that a few times this week, but hey I am probrably going to die from diabetes complications anyway.

Or am I?

On June 15th I began insulin pump therapy. I chose the Minimed Paradigm 722 because it came in purple and I saw the flyer in my endo’s office. Yeah, that’s how I roll. What’s easy is for me. Since my DX nine years ago living with diabetes was easy for me. I tested my BS pretty ramdomly, if it was high I’d take a few units of insulin and if it was low drink some juice or sody pop. To be honest, I don’t know how I survived. I felt HORRIBLE all the time. I never took any classes and missed Dr appointments so often they would’nt fill prescriptions for me unless I went in to see them. I however never missed taking my insulin shots and hardly ever ate things that were deemed not diabetic friendly. I guess that saved me from developing complications.

My BS is 101 right now after lunch.this AM was 98. At bedtime last night it was 92.

I feel so fantastic.

I feel alive for the first time in 9 years.

I can do anything.

I want to be responsible for my health instead of blaming it on diabetes.

I guess I never realized that diabetes is a thing that just becomes part of you,not an illness, not a disease. It becomes who you are and how you live your life. It can be all consuming and scary as hell, but I have realized it is not as scary as waiting to hear bad news from the doctor. I am not nervous about my appointment in September. That is a first for me and I am excited about learning and maintaining good control.

At first I hated my pump. Those first few weeks ( actually that first month) was a mess. The tweaking stunk worse than day old milk left in the kitchen sink. I was convinced my educator thought I was nuts and I called her a few times a week. I tested my BS so often I have callouses on most of my fngers and had to move on to alt site testing. Waking up in the middle of the night to test caused me to be somewhat sleep deprived and then working 13 hours made me so cranky. My poor husband even stopped telling me to put my purse and shoes where they belonged and not in the middle of the living room floor. I think he felt bad I was not sleeping.

You know what? It was all worth it.