I just cannot get it together

I just seem not to be able to get it together. I’m really feeling overhwhelmed by this diabetes thing. Yes…I have had diabetes for 9 yrs, but it just seems to be gripping me tighter and tighter every day. I feel like my brain is in overload and I really don’t want to interact wth anybody or do anything. Yes, I DO take Cymbalta, and yes…I do exercise on a very regular basis, but right now, it seems that all of my thoughts are just crowding my brain. I know everyione probably go thiru this every now and then as I do…but I’m just a bit tired and want to relax…or at least let the merry-go-round slow down somewhat. I’m generally a happy person, but this morning, I’m just existing…not really living…I just want my thoughts to subside somewhat. Can anyone out there identify with this feeling. I’m sure things will get better ans the day rolls on…so I guess this is just going to be one of those days.

About 18 years ago I got wrapped in this tight little circle where I was so busy doing the minute-to-minute stuff with regards to diabetes care that a lot of the rest of my life just sort of dropped on the floor. The whirlpools of worry and concern grew into giant hurricanes completely dominating everything else.

Since then I’ve managed to “open some windows” and let some fresh air in such that I was doing more than just surviving minute to minute and actually having something to live for. I still do have to work harder on opening the windows some more. It actually takes conscious effort and I certainly have room for further improvement, and sometimes I find myself falling back into the whirlpools and have to consciously pull myself out. It’s a struggle.

It IS a struggle. My daughter is getting married in just 3 weeks and it just seems that with managing my diabetes, coordinating getting everyone from the airport (we have people coming in from out of the country as well), going back and forth to the venue, meeting wtih vendors, the wedding coordinator, helping wtih my daughter getting her bridal pictures done, not to mention working (fortunately I work from home, or I would be a basket case)…it’s just becoming a big flurry of events that seems to be snowballing!!! I’m waking up in the morings not wanting to get of bed because I feel like I have so much to do, and I feel guilty if I put anythhing off until the next day which adds to the things to be done FOR the next day. I’m loving doing all of it, but my brain is just not responding very well. I just want to not think for a few hours.

“Can anyone out there identify with this feeling?”

We all can, Clee, We all can. It sounds like you are overwhelmed with life, not diabetes. Diabetes care works best when we have a routine, and your “routine” right now is very disrupted. If your blood sugar goes up a little bit higher than usual, I wouldn’t worry about it. Take your Cymbalta, but if you need to loosen the reigns on the care just slightly to get everything else done, I see no harm in that. Personally, I find that when I’m distracted and busy with other stuff, the diabetes and blood sugars seem to be more in control. Also, the last 10% of the effort is the hardest, and also produces the least results. You’d be surprised how much, after 9 years, you can take care of yourself on auto-pilot.

You’re daughter’s getting married!! Congratulations!! It will be stressful in the days leading up to it, diabetes or not, but it will culminate in much happiness. Enjoy it.

Your doctor may be able to add a med that will help, if you are having intrusive thoughts (abilify). It’s good if you’ve got a side of OCD with your depression.