I am haunted by many things with diabetes. One of them is that I’m afraid that no one will be able to accept my disease and love me. I’ve never had a real relationship. I’m too scared to let people in…I’m afraid that no one will be able to love me completely for who I am or who I’m not. Is this normal? I’m scared I’ll get sick or end up in the hospital and the person will run for the hills.
That’s a pretty mature and honest thing to say, Jessica. I have to say I kind of take the opposite view of it (I’ve been accused of always being the optimist). Granite, I was already married when diagnosed with T1, but I figure if someone is with me through all this, they really love me for who I am, not just superficial. Your diabetes may scare off some, but if that is how shallow they are, then you wouldn’t want them anyway, right? My husband took our marriage vow, in sickness and in health, seriously. There’s plenty of us on this site to say there is someone out there for you who will see you for who you are (and that will be a good thing). Just be upfront with them. Hang in there!
Anyone who is scared of diabetes is just someone who needs educating. You might find the people who are worried about it are the people who lost a great aunt (or whoever) to diabetes back when it was common for diabetics to lose legs, go blind etc. These days we can delay or totally avoid complications, we can even get a lot of them fixed up if we do get them. We can lead normal lives because we have the tools.
Perhaps some day there’ll be either a cure or even better tools… til then, people will remember diabetes’ bad reputation and be worried.
But all they need is a little education!
Anyway, I don’t think this applies to that many people… most people are totally ignorant about it and have no reason to be worried!
All in all, when you meet someone, what they should be interested in is YOU. The fact that you have to think twice about eating stuff shouldn’t be any different than the fact that they have cold feet, or take a pill for something, or are allergic to something etc etc.
D really isn’t that big a deal when it comes to romance Set yourself free!
In total agreement with the comments above, I met my husband just over two years after I was diagnosed-- as we got to know each other, I taught him about diabetes and how I care for myself. I think that actually it’s a good way to make sure he/she is serious-- if he/she is running for the hills, then you wouldn’t have wanted them ANYWAY, with or without diabetes. The “in sickness and in health” vow is really serious. You should only want to be with someone who is ready to take that seriously.
Also, I think that loving and respecting yourself is SO important (not just because of the diabetes). If you accept yourself, diabetes and all, then someone who loves you will accept you, diabetes and all. Believe me, there will be things that you have to accept about him too!
I got married a little over a year ago and my diabetes never really mattered to him. I do have to say he worries about me and how I am taking care of myself but my diabetes never scared him. As time goes by things happen to people that can make them more open to people who have medical issues. My husband had two surgeries before I met him and maybe that helped him understand me better. There are a lot of people in the world and if there are people who don’t want to take the time to get to know you and understand your diabetes are they really worth your time? One day you will meet someone. It just takes time.