All I would say is good luck and find a good doctor to listen to. It seems like we all find our own way to deal with diabetes. I also like what LindsayRyan said: “It’s ok to make mistakes. There is no such thing as a “bad” diabetic. There is no such thing as a perfect diabetic.” Truer words were never spoken.
I know someone (on a friendly basis) who had been the director of nursing at a big local hospital. Please, no offense was or is meant here. Susan told me that of all the patients she saw, the biggest liars were the diabetics. The phrase “cheating on a diet” sounds a lot like what. Who wants to be found out to be a cheater? Not me.
My take on that is just like Lindsay said: it’s impossible to be a “perfect” diabetic, who or whatever that may be. When I was a kid, I keep charts of urine sugars on notebook paper. (N, 1+, 2+, 3+, 4+). Consistently, I recorded lower urine sugars that I tested because I wanted my doctor’s approval. Dr M would say the urine sugars looked good. I would feel ok because he wouldn’t be mad at me. At the time, he couldn’t really help me either. Over time, sometimes I would take careful control before blood sugar tests at the doctor’s office, etc, etc,etc.
Now, I’m sort of lucky. I’ve been through enough stuff with this disease so that I can be relatively honest about it. I tell the medical people I see exactly what’s going on with me and what I’m doing. I pay the professionals to help me, not to judge me. That’s what they do. The medical people I work with I value very highly. I know that I am the only one who treats my disease on a ongoing, daily basis, and I do the best I can. Some days are than others, but so what?