Is it time to give up?

I am just so down about everything lately I had one good day with good readings lets call it good day I had numbers in range for the entire day was so happy, excited thinking this is the end of the bad numbers no more worries I have got it sorted it out.That was all short lived next morning woke up with a high mood turned to anger, hate all I wanted to do was ripe my hair out then follow the questions what happened? What went wrong? Did I forget about my levemir? So I check my dairy I did take it!

Then I eat breakfast my levels get higher then they were before what? Why? how? When? I have just eaten the same boring breakfast I eat every morning so I don’t have to count the carbs. I go about cleaning and doing odd jobs to get my levels down but I feel very exhausted and fed up so fed up I cant be asked to go out what’s the point I will probably go low and have to stuff my face like an animal, friends calling me saying lets meet up this day and that day but I just don’t have the urge or energy anymore all I want to do is stay in the house.

The other day my mete showed my readings as HI first time ever after 23 years with the evil monster as I now like to call it worry was the second thing that came to my mind right after ketons so I check thank god they are a low level, take some more insulin and get a whole bottle of water drank it in less then 15 mins check again 27 point something or the other fill up my bottle of water and head for my bed and have a good old moan. At this time I feel so out of it very sick I promise myself I won’t let it get to the stage I end up in hospital and kept doing test and when it got to 15 mmol I fell asleep so exhausted, worn- out and everything else but I still did wake up with a hypo at 4am I could not get out of bed I know what the professionals say have something sweet and some sort of carbohydrate but they don’t live with diabetes 24/7 so I ate five jelly babies and fell asleep again but I did wake up with a good reading the next morning.

I think all this is being cause by the pain in one of my molars so I make an emergency appointment with the dentist go over there but I am still feeling so out of it because of the night before and hate going there as all they ever give is bad news.In mind and expecting bad news I go into the room tell the doctor about my evil monster (diabetes) and gum disease that’s been caused by the evil monster, he then takes a look and exams my mouth said something about fillings and a deep clean plus my molar being taken out, I am in the state of shock my tooth is getting taken out will they put something there when they take it out, he informs me no and asks if I want to go ahead and take the tooth out I am like I would rather came back another time and just have everything done in one go, get through the unpleasantness over and done with so lucky old me has something to look forward to unlikely.

Wednesday lunch time I have to eat a proper meal as I will be on the dentist chair for an hour and being diabetic and all we can’t have me going hypo now can we.

Just tired of it I am doing everything I can but nothing seems to be going right and to top it of no one understands as they don’t have the evil monster to share their daily tasks with, they don’t have to worry and always have it in the back of their minds, they don’t have to carry so much equipments around because of the damn evil monster.

But I am stronger then that and I was given the evil monster because I am like the numerous individuals already diagnosed and will be diagnosed with the evil monster because we have the strength and determination to fight this evil monster into submission sooner or later, so no matter what it throws at us we have to bring our armour along with us at all times.

I feel your pain its really hard trying to control this disease. I have a tough time too. I have such a long family history of diabetes from grandparents to aunts and uncles,who basically have all past away. It is a terrible disease but we have to keep on fighting .I was diagnosed when I was pregnant and it took a couple of years for me to get use to this life with the monster . lately I have not been feeling good cause I am having a lot of high sugar levels . Iknow what I need to do but it is so hard, maybe we can encourage each other through this website take care connie!!!
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Sometimes, it’s nothing that you did, sometimes, the body just has a high, and there is no explanation. You can hunt down everything from food to exercise, to no exercise to eating something you figure was insignificant, to meds…and it’s something very small that you didn’t even realize, like maybe you had a stressor in your day, maybe you didn’t sleep well. This isn’t an exact science, I’ve learned that over the years. What I do and what you do could be the same thing and we’ll wind up with a different result…we are different people. I tried for a week to repeat another week and show a good BG for my doc. I ate what I ate the week I had a great week, I exercised right down to the exact time, and methods, took my BS’s at the same time…everything…the next week it was a lot of up and down ---- why? I don’t know…it just didn’t do the same thing. I found out later, I was coming down with a UTI and that showed up another week later. So my moral is to do the best I can, follow my plan, stay healthy, take my meds and eat healthy and exercise. I can’t be perfect…but I can be great.

It seems like your highs occur during the night, sounds like “Dawn Phenom…” (sorry for the moment forgot spelling). Through the years I’ve had that problem and would adjust my basal insulin and would solve the problem. I know how frustruting it is but once I’ve been able to figure what’s causing the problem the frustration and depression disappear until next time.

Osob, Please don’t give up! You sound like a very strong person. Your last statement is very well put. None of us wants to do this, and it requires an incredible amount of strength. If we were not strong enough to make the climb, we would not have been placed at the bottom of this mountain. We are all here for you to share your feelings with. I will look for your next posts.

Osob, I am terribly sorry you are having these troubles. I think tooth pain is just the worst! two years ago, I lost a molar too, and then 6 months later I got an implant, which has worked out well for me. I am going to have to go through it all over again with the same tooth on the other side, which is a little loose. just look at the few steps right in front of you, and don’t focus on the long road ahead. Do the best you can today. I call it the monster too. It likes to kick us again and again especially when we are down. but together we are stronger. sending you some hugs and positive thoughts.

It took me a minute to realize that you were not talking about my own life. Everything you said I have felt and will feel again. This only my second time writing on this website, but I already feel like their really is someone out there that totally understands this life. I am sorry you have been have such hard days lately. If there is any good news, it is we do get a few good days. It should be that way, but maybe it is our mission in life to proof we are stronger than the devil within.

Hi Osob,

How did your dentist appointment go today? It’s a strange thing that having something wrong with our teeth and/or gums can affect our entire well-being. Even if the next few days aren’t wonderful, I’m hoping you’ll begin to feel better after today. Of course, it’s never really “over” but the days that are good are just that much better after you’ve felt awful. I’m sending you warm wishes.

Julie Ann :slight_smile:

Hey Guys,
So sweet of all you I loved all your feedbacks made me feel like I have so much friends and people that understand so I should not really focus on those who do not understand.
Well wednesday got myself ready for my appointment worked up the courage only to get there told that my appointment was not today but the 24th argh I wanted to slap the lady over the desk lucky for her she was not the one who made the appointment,she told me I am gonna make you and appointment for wednesday so I took it as if it was the earlies one.lol lol silly old me or maybe all the excitment is getting to me (NOT).LOL
Thank you all for boosting me,I feel like I can rule the world.lol

This almost made me cry. I promise I am feeling like this today and yesterday. My BG levels have been high because my friends took me out to eat yesterday and not everything was on calorieking.com so I had to guess the carbs in it. Mind you I’m not a good guesser at all. My BG was 256 last night and now 188 this morning! Now I have to go to work today when I don’t feel like it and tote around my jug of water because a spill some ketones (small) and just pray I don’t get angry at the job and stay nice with a smile. This sucks! I wish I could just exercise and it would be controlled like that :frowning: I want to cry again.