It's different when it's not you

All the diabetics I know (most) where diagnosed before I met them or before I was old enough to remember. So naturally there was never a grieving period of time.

I heard this somewhere, ( I’m no biologist ) that if a parent is diabetic, there’s a 1 in 4 chance that the kids would be diabetic too. In my family, I was that 1 in 4 chance. We’re four children. Me, oldest…1 brother, 2nd oldest and 2 younger sisters. I never minded to be the one with diabetes, as a matter of fact, I really dont remember how NOT to be diabetic. But I also thought about how I would feel about one of my other siblings being diagnoised with diabetes. Now don’t get me wrong I wish no harm on my family … But my mom is diabetic and I’m diabetic so even if one of my sisters or brother was diabetic it wouldn’t be such a big deal right?!?

Well, what faith had in store for me and my family was that the youngest one in our family, my little sister, would be diabetic.
She was diagnosed a couple days ago and I didn’t think I would be this devistated and upset about it. I know she has it better off than some people, who are diagnosed and know nothing about the illness. She has her mom and her sister for support and to ask about anything she might not know, but it’s still hard. She seems fine with it, she’s only 13 and when I was diagnosed 11 years ago ( at the age of 11) she was 2… So she kind of grew up around diabetes at a young age.

I apologize if this blog is all over the place but I have a million and one thoughts in my head at the same time and I’m trying to get them all out at once! Talk about being frustrated!!
Oh and on top of all of that me and my family don’t live in the same country so I can’t fully be there for her. AND I’m no doctor… But I don’t agree with what her doctor is doing to help her and it’s reallly upsetting me.

Sigh take one day at a time I guess…

Well, it’s not true that you can’t be fully there for her. She grew up around YOUR diabetes and is therefore familiar, even comfortable with how it’s treated & handled. Don’t you know how HUGE that is? A 13-year-old girl who has never seen diabetes day-to-day would be so much more frightened and confused and angry than your sister probably is. You aren’t “there” right now but you were “there” laying the groundwork for her transition to living with diabetes when it came. And that matters. And, you can let her know that she can talk to you via email or tudiabetes or however anytime she wants. Even living in other countries is no obstacle nowadays! Even ten years ago, you had to do it all by letter or wicked expensive long distance International calls, but not anymore! Skype it!

Why don’t you agree with what her doctor is doing?

Not only am I the only one in my family with type 1. I got dx’ed at age 52, over half my, then bang, surprise!!! Hoping your sister is doing good!!

I know how it feels…
I am the only one in my family with Type 1, diagnosed at age two. This is back in the 70’s. I am the oldest of four. My great grandmother on my father’s side had it. I never knew her, she died before I was born. My father is one of 9 children. Then in my generation (fouth genereation) I am the only one out of 40. (yes my generation on my father’s side is a large family)
I have two children, the oldest is 7 and little one is 3 (he was diagnosed at age 2). I am still grieving, feeling sorry for myself and devastaded. It feels like history is repeating. I feel it is my fault for causing this to him. Knowing how it is. I cry and grief every day.

I hoped this stupid diseased would have skipped generations as it did in the past, but it did not happen. Some days are good and some like today are not. We are both using the OmniPod and even with this great means of treatment, I cry for him every day. I am very sad, for I know what it is to be diabetic and the efforts needed to control it. Changing the pod site is still an ordeal, although it is better than taking shots.

His first endo, had him on novolog and levimir. It was a awful, his BG’s were high (over 400) then very low. He was on a daily roller coaster. The doctor did not want him to go on a pump. He does not believe in it for tottlers. Being a diabetic on a pump helped us get through it and immediately looked for other options. We changed doctors and found a great endo with a supporting team of nurses and staff. We put him on a Animas Pump and his BG’s improved dramatically. We recently changed to the OmniPod and it is even better without the tubing.

Sorry for such a long story… Don’t get upset … change the doctor as soon as possible, to one that listens and provides the care she needs.

best of luck to you and your family…

Aw, Lymari… You didn’t “do this” to your son any more than I did it to mine. I don’t have any history of diabetes in my family, yet my little boy has it - so go figure. It’s just one of those things.

You might consider something… you have one thing to offer your son that I don’t: a lifetime of experience in managing diabetes. I’m figuring it out as I go, and making all my mistakes on his little body. So please, remember that your life-long struggle with the disease is not without its benefits! You are so much better equipped to take care of a child with diabetes than those of us just “meeting” the disease for the first time! All things happen for a reason, you know…

(Which I guess goes for Lama as well…)

I’m sorry that you are n’t with your sister. That can be tough, but as another writer said, in this day and age, you can contact her, and help her through this, e-mail, twitter, here, or even a hand writtne letter, or phone call. You are there for her. I too wondered what you don’t agree with her doc about. I have two good friends who are diabetic, and I don’t agree with one of their docs…about treatment and education…it drives me nuts.

I am the oldest in my family, I have one younger brother, by three years. Neither of my parents had diabetes, but my grandmother did…so it skipped them and came to me. I often joke that my brother got all the money and I got the diseases. But the truth is, that it’s not your fault she got it, it’s no one’s fault. But it is a good thing that you have others to go through this with both of you.

Good luck, come here often, we’re happy to listen.

Sorry to hear about your sister’s diagnosis Lama. I can imagine how difficult this will be for you as well – it is different somehow when it is the one’s that we love!

I know that you will be a great inspiration to your sister, even if you are not there. I live in a different country and I have a very little sister. We connect through Skype :slight_smile: and she thinks that is completely normal and we have a very special relationship.

Encourage your sister to join our community! Hugs to the whole family!!!