Lost Motivation

I have totally stopped everything and can’t get myself back on track. From Christmas and a two week stay from a friend I have/am eating like I am not diabetic. Not testing or exercising, gaining weight I need help/ideas to get motivated and doing what I know I need to do. I don’t really understand why I don’t seem to even want to. It will soon be 4 years since I found out that I was type 2 and have never felt this way before. I live in a very small town and have gone through 3 different doctors since my original one retired early. Seen an endo. before Christmas and that was a joke, he said that he didn’t believe I was diabetic when I told him what my A1C was. Didn’t even do any blood work or anything! What to do now?


STOP THAT RIGHT THIS DAMN MINUTE!!! You had better get going back on your program even if one jackass of a DR doesn’t “think” you have DM. I have the right to talk to you this way for one reason only … I WAS THERE.

Back in November, 2003, I had gone off my meds and pump because I was depressed and didn’t care. Didn’t think of what could happen. After eating like a piggie on Thanksgiving, I woke of very thirsty the day after (11/28/03!!) and walking like a drunken sailor. I called the apt. mgr. and he had to help me out of bed and to the bathroom and then call the paramedics. They left me in a back room of the ER for hours and my legs swelled up to 3 times as large and turned bright purple. I don’t know that, if they had kept a close eye on me, I wouldn’t now be disabled. You see, I had double DVTs behind both knees and the time I was without circulation would kill the nerves. I have little but spotty feeling from the knees to the ankles and NO feeling in the feet. I had to spend 36 days in the hospital, 3 weeks of which were in the Burn Intensive Care with horrible blisters like I got burned. I had to learn to walk all over again. It’s still like walking on big bags of marshmallows. I now have to wear braces and yucky shoes to get around. You could change my name to “Fall Down and Go Boom!” I have since experienced such neuropathy in the feet that it keeps me awake and makes me jump when it hits.

So, you see, you had better get your act together NOW before you end up with complications you haven’t counted on.

Even if you don’t really have DM (which is unlikely if no further tests were done), you will need to watch your behavior or you WILL develop DM. I’m a walking case for what NOT to do!!!

I now get around with a scooter because I am too unstable to walk very far (around the house) without assistance.

SHAPE UP GIRL!!! This is what is called TOUGH LOVE. We love you and don’t want you to suffer any more than you have to. Get professional counseling if you must. But DO SOMETHING. Keep in constant contact with us or you can drop me a note via e-mail at: llarose@wi.rr.com. OK?

Lois La Rose, Milwaukee, WI


Looking for you this a.m. to see how you are. Are you mad at me for telling it like it is? I hope not because I really am concerned that you turn your life around a bit. Contact me, please.

Lois La Rose, Milwaukee, WI

Maybe, somewhere inside yourself, you want to get your BG high enough so your endo will believe you really are diabetic? I think the smarter thing would be to go to a different endo. Did you explain to him/her that your A1C was so low because of the way you were taking care of yourself, not because you don’t have diabetes?

Like Lois I got a little angry when I read your post. Then I got sad. Because I think you are hurting inside. God knows that the holidays are tough. Food everywhere and while everyone is letting lose and being irresponsible with their health you HAVE TO manage yours each and every day. It can be hard. But … ■■■■ happens. So … pick your self up. Think of all the blessings in your life. I want you to get back on the program.

Dear Elaine.

My A1c was 6.2% last time and I am definetly diabetic and feel like s==t and have to work quite hard to stay alive. My Endo also calls this spectacular which in British means very good. It is not very good, 5.5% which will keep you from nasty complications is very good.

Wars rarely last more than 5 years cause participants loose interest or become really down. Our war is for the rest of our lifetime. Hopefully GB’s war in Iraq is not.

It is annoying to have Dr that dont care. You are a good human being and THEY are treating you badly shame on them. Do the rounds again and ask if there is any Doctor that will help you to get you A1c below 6%.

Start on a low carb diet. I have cut my insulin from 75 units to 55 units with better blood sugar control. This will halt the weight gain. Drag youself somewhere and do some exercise this will help morale.

Get Dr. Richard Berstein’s book.


I want to apologize for coming on strong. But NOT for my intent. I not only got angry but, like Khurt, I got scared. I saw me in what you are going through now. It wasn’t a pleasant experience for me way back in 2003. I never thought there could be such pain in the world … physical AND emotional.

I encourage you to keep reaching out for moral support. Also, if you feel that you don’t understand things about DM, to get further education through your DR, hospital programs, the internet, books. Personally can’t handle books because of lack of concentration to read small print. But, I take it where I can get it.

Don’t let a day pass by without contacting some of us just to yak or cry or pick our brains. OK?

Love & hugs,
Lois La Rose, Milwaukee, WI

Thanks Lois, no need to apologize! I really need to hear everything you and the others have said! I just get mad at myself because I do know better and can do what I need too! I’ve been talking to myself quite a bit and do feel some better today and have made up my mind to take it a day at a time. Kinda feels like when I first found out I was diabetic. Thanks again to you and all the rest!


Hmmmmmmmmmm. I wonder what Freud would think. All this talking to yourself! It’s OK to talk to yourself though you should not be talking back…you’re not answering back are you? Hmmmmmmmm, Mr. Freud, what’s up with that?!

LOL :slight_smile:

Lois La Rose

Dear MJ.

Well all need a way of coping with depression. Might be good if you can start a discussion and explain this 3 step approach.

Elaine-I just read your post and I could have written that myself!. Don’t know what happened but out of nowhere this feeling that it all was useless- doing all the right things -you know,being the 'good ’ girl and all that s–t. I just gave up. But after reading your mail do I realize, we are the only ones responsible for our health and body. So I’ll suck it up and go back to my routine. One more realization that this disease is with me for the rest of my life. Thanks for sharing your feelings and thoughts.I hope you are in a better place now- do not give up. Life is interesting and worth experiencing it! Peace.

Elaine - don’t give up on yourself & your health. You are the only person responsible for your health and if you don’t take care of it, no one else can. To keep myself on track, I keep a daily log of what I eat, how much I exercise, and my BG levels. I have let all my family so that they know better than to have bad foods near me and they keep me under control as well. You can also buy books on diabetes and/or general health and read up to motivate yourself. I know being a T2 sucks, but it’s a double-edged sword that forces me to eat healthy and exercise, something I should be doing any way even if I were not a diabetic.

You have asked for help. That’s a good thing. You know what you should be doing to keep your diabetes under control. Take a deep breath and make the right choices. You are not alone I have felt like you do often.
Don’t give up.

Eeeeek! Can I ever identify with you, Elaine. I, too, was diagnosed going into my fourth year. I also was a patient with a doctor that definitely didn’t know what she was doing but to tell me I am a full-blown diabetic. How encouraging! Well anyway, I stopped taking sugar (in my initial reaction). That meant no soda drink, no rolls, cookies, candy, pies and any other food related to “deserts”. I know that sounds like harsh deprivation, but it worked for me. I am in control, walking (the total exercise routine), and continued study for the right niche in staying on track. I was very fortunate, though, in that I don’t feel deprived of all that sweet stuff. I’m not completely “there” yet. I still have a weakness for salt foods, like cheese, peanuts, popcorn, and the table salt on my foods. I do have days when my motivation feel a little thin and want to chuck everything and have a pizza. Those are the rough days. And gumdrops (my favorite sweet stuff), I resist knowing that to have any kind of complication from diabetes is not an option with me. I can’t afford it. I’m already blind in one eye and have a pacemaker to keep my ticker on track. I wish you well, and hope you will find the right encouragement to get back on track.

Lois, Thank you for your testimony. I already know that diabetes is not a disease to fool around with. I still am paranoid about getting any kind of complications for not doing the right thing. I am not having the problems that many of you have had here, but I don’t want them either. May God bless you for your adacity to help someone get his/her priorities straightened out. It could very well be me.


I am glad to see you ae feeling slsightly better. Thaat’s good!! I’m glad you’re still in one piece after my first message.

I have changed my profile to give the whole story. If you start to feel the weight of the world and want to stop in on my home page, it may add motivation. (Boy, does this sound conceited!) I have had comments that those who read my page were moved; and that’s my purpose!

Keep on keeping on!

Lois La Rose

DO what you know is right…deep within you… i have to go to work…but i will be back with comment.

ok i am back, sorry about the delay…had to go to work… what I was saying is that do what you have to do to maintain you sanity and happiness, but DO NOT LOSE SIGHT OF THE BIG PICTURE>>> I could easily go back to bad diet habits and such but i don’t. and sure…I think we all, at some time, experience the depression and the feelings of being alone in the battle.

You are never alone…we are here for you…So if you need me…email me and we can move back to joy together…