Could you frame the vacation as follows (to add to the excitement and adventure)?
We are going into the middle of nowhere during the largest healthcare crisis of our time. I do not want to be a burden or a stick in the mud, but nor do I want to pretend that everything is normal. My concerns are grave. 40% of the deaths during this pandemic were diabetics and I have a lot of extra burdens and concerns during this time that you might not be aware of. It is my ultimate goal not to cause you a bunch of grief, hardship, and heartache during this time by ensuring that I come out the other side unharmed.
When we go adventuring, we are a team. We are responsible for one another’s safety. We need to form a team that one another can trust and rely on. We need to be watching one another and reading in between the lines. If I get hurt or sick, then I will be no use to you. If you get hurt or sick, you will not be able to help me. Therefore, my ultimate goal is that no one gets hurt or sick during this outing. If I don’t ‘feel right’ about something, then I am not going to do it because that will put us both at risk.
I am female and tend, like Timothy, to be the ‘pusher.’ I lean a little manic in energy level and desire for external stimulus. I have heard ‘no’ many, many times from my partner, but always trusted his judgement. He would look me straight in the eyes, hold the stare, and simply, dryly say, “Your drive for fun is killing me. I can’t handle this much fun. If we have any more fun, I am going to die.”
Start joking about it with her. Tell her that her idea of fun is like getting sprayed with a fire hose of fun - one needs to catch ones breath eventually. Make it a joke - you can tease her about who she is, lovingly. She will get it and be able to adapt, unless she’s got some underlying OCD or control issues that makes it impossible for her to alter her behavior. I have family like that and I just have to limit the time/activities I do with them because the have personality ‘stuff’ that will always take precedence over my physical well being and ability to care for myself. It should be a warning sign if people and their ‘personalities’ are exercising undue control or encroaching on basic functions like your ability to eat, sleep, and use the bathroom. (I’ve had employers encroach there, too). That’s my line in the sand. Thou shall not cross, or we are gonna have conflict. No ones ‘personality’ is so important that I need to die to accommodate it. That’s a personality that is too big and needs to be reigned in.
Here’s some songs about the ‘pusher’ man, or woman, for your journey. Best hopes for ya’. Always remember that the ‘the pusher’ can kill ya’. Exercise good judgement and advocate for yourself.