My First Day of Acceptance

I’ve been diagnosed with PCOS, Insulin Resistance and Diabetes for 5 years and for 5 years I’ve been in denial. I don’t know how much damage i’ve done to my body in these 5 years and I’m scared. Scared that my 38 year old body won’t make it to old age. Scared that I won’t be able to have children EVER. Scared that I have done irreparable damage to my organs, my nerves, my body.

I can finally say it now - I HAVE DIABETES. For so long I have been unwilling, unable and ashamed to say that to anyone aside from my husband and close family members. I am overweight - I currently weigh 224 on a 5’3 frame. I am Asian-American and my father and grandmother also have Diabetes. My grandfather died from Diabetes at 71. Watching my father and grandmother thrive and enjoying life even though they have Diabetes has given me hope. Hope that with the right attitude, the willingness to really work, the courage to accept this illness and face what lies ahead, I might actually have a chance to LIVE. Not just live but truly enjoy life without treating my Diabetes like a death sentence my whole life.

I think that saying this “out loud” to all of you who are willing to read this is my first step to recognizing what I have and what I need to do. After reading through many of the posts here I was touched, encouraged and in awe of what many of you have done to heal yourselves and not just cope but LIVE with Diabetes. I cannot say that I am at a point of celebrating what I am… but I definitely am now walking into this with my eyes and ears open and my mind set to do what I need to do for the rest of my life.

Today is my day one. I will start to LIVE with no fear, no regret, no shame… I will LIVE life as a Diabetic… but I WILL LIVE.

Thanks for the little soap box. Thanks for all your posts that have inspired me to look forward and not back. And a special thank you to those people who took the time to send me welcoming messages… it felt good and I thank you. I look forward to chatting and posting here. Who knows… maybe I’ll even blog. :slight_smile:

congratulations Lily on your acceptance. It’s a rough road, this diabetes. But we do what we must to enjoy our lives with our loved ones. All the best and take care!!

Lily - I recently had and “awakening” of my own. In my opinion it’s never to late to straighten things out. Know that you’re not alone and you’re heading in the right direction. Best of luck to you!

I am smiling for you, Lilypad. Good luck today. We’ll be here for you tomorrow as well. :slight_smile:

Welcome! Thanks for sharing. I can relate to your story because it is very similiar to mine.

~Danielle

Way to go Lily! We celebrate this step with you. And, Melissa put it best, we are here tomorrow too… on the good days and the bad. It’s so much better to LIVE with diabetes knowing that you are not alone!

Cope,heal yourself & live:
Welcome Lilypad to a wonderful life starting from day one to… forever

Congratulations on your big step that you have taken to get your diabetes under control. First step is to admit that you have to deal with it. Now you have so many friends here that will help you hit it head on and not let it control you, but you control it.

Thank you to ALL of you wonderful friends and your kind words of encouragement. I just came back from my 2nd tennis lesson and I feel fabulous. I feel empowered, armed and ready to face this. I am SO happy I’ve found this warm community of friends that can share in my resolve. I want to also assure you all that I will always be there as well to offer encouragement when needed and hopefully share new information I pick up on my new journey. Thank you again for your friendship.

Way to go! You’ve got strength, conviction & courage. And soon, a mean tennis serve:) Powerful words you’ve written filled with positive energy. Today is your new birthday–happy birthday.