I’ve been trying to think of ways of expressing my feelings about diabetes. I’m not sure how to really convey what I’ve been going through over the past few years but I’ll try through here-
Over the past five years I tried to control my life through manipulating my weight. Nothing made me happier than seeing numbers drop on the scale, and nothing made me more upset than when they creeped up. One easy way to do this was by not taking insulin. I felt a little bad at first, but who can complain about eating whatever you want and losing weight. At my skinniest I reached 115 pounds, which to some isn’t even that thin but to me it was a lot. Today, when I weighed myself I was 138 pounds. Wow, I thought. It was hard for me not to get really upset or go home and refuse to take my insulin. I have had a rollercoaster ride of trying to regain control of my blood sugars with A1C’s ranging from 10-13. Over the past month I have had the tightest control I’ve ever been under. I am engaged and my fiance has been the best support I’ve ever received. He won’t just leave me alone even when the high blood sugar monster inside me escapes. It is really hard trying to do this, especially right before our wedding (a time in most people’s lives when they lose weight). I know that its more important to start our lives healthy than thin though…it’s just hard because of the mindset I’ve had over the past few years. Has anyone else gone through this? Any words of advice? Anyone that has come out of unhealthy eating/insulin habits? I need some words of encouragement!!!