My first post

I’ve been trying to think of ways of expressing my feelings about diabetes. I’m not sure how to really convey what I’ve been going through over the past few years but I’ll try through here-

Over the past five years I tried to control my life through manipulating my weight. Nothing made me happier than seeing numbers drop on the scale, and nothing made me more upset than when they creeped up. One easy way to do this was by not taking insulin. I felt a little bad at first, but who can complain about eating whatever you want and losing weight. At my skinniest I reached 115 pounds, which to some isn’t even that thin but to me it was a lot. Today, when I weighed myself I was 138 pounds. Wow, I thought. It was hard for me not to get really upset or go home and refuse to take my insulin. I have had a rollercoaster ride of trying to regain control of my blood sugars with A1C’s ranging from 10-13. Over the past month I have had the tightest control I’ve ever been under. I am engaged and my fiance has been the best support I’ve ever received. He won’t just leave me alone even when the high blood sugar monster inside me escapes. It is really hard trying to do this, especially right before our wedding (a time in most people’s lives when they lose weight). I know that its more important to start our lives healthy than thin though…it’s just hard because of the mindset I’ve had over the past few years. Has anyone else gone through this? Any words of advice? Anyone that has come out of unhealthy eating/insulin habits? I need some words of encouragement!!!

It is really hard, having diabetes just forces you to obsess over every little bite that you take. Keeping a proper relationship to food is much harder for us. So much of our self image is tied up in weight. You need to focus on what is important, keeping your blood sugars under control. Remind yourself that you fiance will love you no matter what the scale says.

I think you should also remember that the goal is to eat healthy, but not excessively, to exercise, but not excessively, and then your body will settle in at the weight it’s genetically intended to be – most of us were not intended to be anorexic models! And we were not intended to stay at our high-school weight forever, either – a little weight gain as we age is actually a healthy thing. The greatest mortality risk is among the severely obese – AND the severely underweight. So concentrate on what your meter says, not what the scale says.

Hi Liz, it seems like your trip was a full success. It is great news that your control improved. You did not struggle without improvements but managed to have better control. One big problem of insulin reduction is that the body will be trained to regain as much weight as possible with sufficient insulin. He prepares for the next crisis to come (the next reduction of insulin). It will take months under good control with normal insulin dosages for your body to readjust this. Long term this need to build up deposits will be less pronounced. This is why I would not recommend to look for short term success with your weight. Apart from medical reasons I think stable weight is a result of long term lifestyle. One very reduced diet can not compensate for years and you should approach it this way. It is an investment and many TuMembers had great success with the reduction of carbohydrates. I have no personal experiences with the methods of Dr. Bernstein but it seems helpful. It dies not need to be that extreme as Bernstein proposes. I am sure you will find your personal balance with the carbohydrates. The good thing is that it will address both weight and glucose control. Another approach would be to combine your insulin treatment with a small dosage of Metformin. This is something to discuss with your medical team. This way you will get more sensitive to insulin and your liver will secrete less glucose per hour. This allows you to reach the same level of control with less insulin. Just ask Marps about it - she is T1 and uses Metformin.