Thank you!

Thank you to those who responded to my posts!!! Really. I am far from perfectly recovered, but am doing a lot better than I was even six months ago. I know its a process and I am just grateful that I’m finally going in the right direction. I was just thinking how amazing it feels to be healthy and just recently I’ve channeled some of my anger at the real culprit, diabetes.

Let me explain, I think that for the past few years I have focused merely on the weight gain as a way of venting my frustration about having diabetes, needing to check, have a restricted diet, etc. I looked at the weight gain I experienced and then saw a way of not actually “dealing” with the disease by not taking my insulin and losing weight. I think that weight was a physical thing that I could deal with and be upset or happy about when I didn’t exactly understand what was going on internally or how I felt about being diabetic or what was going on with me. Can anyone else relate to this?

I realized it because the other day I was really upset and I thought it was about my weight, but then I went for a walk and started to think about it and I think I was more upset over the fact that I am diabetic and that I haven’t taken care of myself and I’m scared of what that will mean in my future. If you understand me please please contact me via a comment or send me a message or whatever. I really hope to find people who have struggled and come through the struggle.

I really appreciate what was said about your body balancing out and how not everyone was meant to have a certain weight. I think that I have been thinking in extremes lately and there has only been skinny and fat for me. Anyway, I know that I’m getting into a lot here and a lot of it is personal but I really hope someone can understand me. Thank you for letting me vent :).