and quite frankly I am sickened. I am so close with my mom especially and we both don’t know how to deal with this stuff very well. We were both pretty emotional to say the least. I promised my mom I’d be off insulin unless its (smart Insulin) before she passes on but wondering if I can keep that promise. She is suffering with some bad arthritic issues and is slipping into some depression herself. My dad is also diabetic but for the most part does ok with it besides some bad hypos here and there. Everything just seems dark and bleak. Hopefully football today will keep my mind off all this negativity…
Gary, hang in there. The topic of death is not one I could face easily either, but for your parents, they are dealing with what’s ahead the way many people who are older do. It’s hard to understand unless you are at that stage too. But you have to trust that they do and are ok with it.
To promise to be off insulin when you’re type 1, well, that’s a hard promise to keep. It’s something that’s not within your realm of control. I’m sure your mother will not hold you to this promise. She wants what’s best for you, what will make you healthy.
I wish you peace.
Yea its ok they are worried about your future they dont want you to have to deal with that… They are responsible! Everyones afraid to lose someone but unfortunatly thats the way it has to go just enjoy now and live every day to the fullest…
As a Type 1 myself here I don’t think you can keep that promise unless they come up with a cure. I’ve had Type 1 for 37 years now and the cure was always 5-10 years away. I look at death like this (may be the wrong way but I do) we’re born to live our lives then when we’re called to that higher place we go. I don’t think they ever really leave us. My mom & dad are both gone now. I think as long as we keep them in our hearts they’re always here. OK I know I shouldn’t have gotton off on that subject. Be STRONG for them Gary they’ll need you one day.
Thanks all. It’s just a kinda of wake up call that the end is nearing. Though they are not old old their still old. The part about getting off insulin was just my assumption that it was only going to be a matter of time before something big really breaks through and I’d like to believe still it will happen sooner or later. Diabetes is far from my only problem but on a daily basis its certainly my biggest. Not being Independent or making a living are two other big ones. Lately I have been having some minor chest pains which could be do to nerves but with diabetes I’m afraid to hear I may have heart disease or something. I also don’t have any insurance so to run tests will be out of pocket. It just never ends…
Poor you! I get to where I WON’T go to the Dr b/c of having to pay out of pocket for some of the test the dr says HAS to be done only to find out I’m OK. Yet that does get to me. Know your feelings all to well there.
Death is a strange topic in my family. I remember my MIL turning 50 and starting to talk about who gets what when she dies. My wife and my SIL were horrified that she could talk about it. But on my side we have never really talked about my own parents dieing except What to do with my mom if my father dies first. My BIL has volunteered to take her in, which my sister claims won’t happen. I have always been a little matter of fact with discussing with my wife about my death. She doesn’t like the fact that I accept that I most likely will go first, 7 years older then her and now diabetic My only request has been a secular service and to have a green burial or at lest plant my ashes(no urn) under a tree and to think about waiting till the girls hit 18 before remarrying just because of the survivor benefits she would lose if she got remarried before they reached of age.
As for dealing with it. I think people get scared to talk about it because not only is it making one think of losing a loved one, but also it makes one face their own mortality. I personally think a persons passing should be celebrated not mourned. Celebrate the life the person lived, their hopes and dreams, their accomplishments.
Planning ahead as your parents are doing give them some control of their death and eases the burden placed on other family members. Stay strong talk to them about it be a part of it. It may be hard butit the long run your family will be stronger for it.
My mother is in her 80’s (& the healthiest person I know). We’ve talked about her plot. Makes me very sad to think about the inevitable, but life is terminal.
The promise I’ve made to my mother is taking care of myself so I outlive her.
She’s asked if I wanted to be buried near her so the family will be together. No, thanks. Burn me up, scatter my ashes. My husband knows where I’d like to be scattered.
Hope football raises your spirits.
I’ll go with you on that Gerri. My g-mother thinks the whole family should be together at the time of death. My wish? (which my husband knows) is to be creamated.
Doris, my mother wasn’t thrilled with my cremation plans. Oh, well.
My parent have had their plots all bought and paid for years ago. They want to make sure they have places next my grandfather and grandmother I guess. And I guess they don’t me and my brother to get stuck with the costs. (which is good because I have no money).
I honestly do not want to be buried. I mean, I will be dead, what’s the point? Its just a body. The real me will be around as a ghost. 
I won’t know if someone actually goes ahead and buries me there or not - honestly seems like a waste of money to me (don’t tell my parent I think that though). The whole idea of being in a box covered with dirt makes me claustrophoic. I hope people would remember me without having to go somewhere to do it.
Donate my bod to science and IF there is any thing good left of it maybe they can do research on and it might be of some help to something (maybe even for diabetes). The can stick me in the lab in a container of formadehyde and label me “The Thin Type 2”. I am pretty sure there will some parts of me that might be usable for something.
If there is nothing good to salvage, they can cremate me and sprinkle my ashes over the ocean.
My mom has passed but my g-mother? NO!!! YOU WILL BE BURRIED WITH THE FAMILY!!! I just don’t even argue about it anymore.
It is hard to do, but SEAGATOR, U are so wise and kind to plan rwith your familly in mind. My mom, at my gentle coercion, has begum to write down and tell us what she wants and we are making the legal arrangmenets , along with her ;for her’s and my father’s ( with Alzheimners) current care and final plans. I have specified exactly what I want in my own will and medical and legal power of attorney documents… I am praying that you can find peace and know that your parents are doing this to spare you any extra stress. I know your living situation and your health concerns are not to your liking and it is difficult for you . I have mustard seed fatih that there WILL be a cure for Type one diabetes in My and Your lifetime. Yet ,Like SEAGATOR says, I can see “God shouting for joy” and myself radiantly content when I and my parents come “Hone”…
God BLess, Gary
Hope you are feeling better today
Brunettal
No point in arguing. My mother shook her head in disbelief. I told her I was being efficient:) No wasted land, no ridiculous expenses, no one’s going to remember me or “visit” my grave anyway. Death’s such a taboo subject.
I wonder if it might be a generational thing. Notice alot more older folks wish to be more traditional with their deaths - do the burial, service etc. But younger people aren’t caring for that as much anymore and want an “alternative”.
I would rather thing I could do some good after I am dead which is why I want to donate my body. It is just a body - it isn’t really ‘me’. Plus, bugs and other things crawling on me in that box - ugh.
When my cat died just recently, they made me a ‘memorial paw print’ in clay. Something for me to keep of her (plus I kept a pouf of fur). I didn’t like the idea of burial - couldn’t afford it anyhow. The real her is somewhere else - at the Rainbow Bridge - having a grand time with friends who have past.
Kinda like that here too! I don’t know why she thinks someone should be there everyday for days. I loved my mom with all my heart but I don’t go to where she’s at but like 2ce a year now.
KimKat I don’t know about the generational thing but it’s just something I’ve always wanted done. I had a pancres transplant anout 15 tears abo and really don’t see where my body would do anygood to medicean now (yes I rejected it went back to Type 1 but won’t go into all of it now) If I thought it would help I would do that in a minute but I honestly don’t see it for me. My body has been through so much the DR would probably say “NO” in a hurry! LOL!
On a somewhat humorous note, the weirdest thing I ever heard about preparation for death was about these two people in the small Irish town that my father-in-law comes from, unmarried brother and sister I think. Well before they were even ready for their time, they not only bought their own burial plots in the church graveyard, but would go and tend them now and then. For years. Talk about morbid! People would laugh about it but respect their ways nevertheless. The Irish people in my in-laws part of the country are pretty tolerant of what we would classify as eccentricity.
Each culture has its own traditions and taboos regarding death. Here in LA the Mexican population confronts it pretty literally with Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead). Mexican friends of ours have all sorts of skull artwork in their house, very colorful stuff. When I first moved out here it kind of took my breath away to see so many skulls and skeletons used in a way that ranged from beautiful to pretty humorous. I’m still getting used to it because for me, skeletons evoke horror.
For some reason, I like skeletons. I have fake plastic one hanging from my rear view mirror that is supposed to be a key chain I got from a hot sauce bottle. He has blue eyes and cool teeth. I call him “Mr. Hot Skeleton.” I think he is cute. He is the “protector of the car”. hehe. Ok, I’m a weirdo.
Dia de Los Muertos is a wonderful tradition. Wish we had something similar to honor & remember lost loved ones in a communal celebration.