Back to the slightly Rolling hills rather than the Roller coasters

Hi all. Every one here, my grand friends on tud, know that I have been through a couple of really tough years, with the death of my Father in April 2012, at 53 from Alzheimer's complications; and the sudden death from cardiac arrest of my brother less than a year later in April 2013. We were so saddened and devastated. I had to go to my home town several states away somewhat frequently to help take care of my family and to comfort, to console and just be with them.

What most of you did not know
is that I put a lot of my own diabetic care on the back burner at that time. I was grieving and running away, a lot from my own emotions.
Had all the behaviors and symptoms of diabetes burn-out due to stress and long-time mid-set of "I do not want to do ALL of this to take care of my diabetes,Just enough..
to get by without getting really sick. I took my insulin a bolussed,
but went through weeks of not checking my blood sugars but 2-3 times a
day, particularly when I was with my family out of state>. I did
Multiple blind bolusses and highs over 200 every other day;low- lows at least 2 times a week. I would eat starchy snacks and rage bolus and extra exercise to stave off a high, end up low and on the
roller coaster again. I walked some mornings, but sometimes was just too lazy and distracted by grief, trying to get 100's of projects
contacts, and conversations completedto keep up the habit of daily exercise,

My Aic's understandably took a hit. I havn't seen a 6 since December 2011. Gradualky creeping to 7.4 to 7.6 (for 6 months) to 7.8 and last week ( Tuesday) was 8.0!!! Not a surpise because I did check enough to know where I was heading.. but I decided that very day, to STOP it and get off the Meery g0-round and take care of myself. Not found of actual
roller-coasters nor BG ones.
My doctor told me, in his laid back and kindly manner" You know what to do , Brunetta. You know how to do it. You wanto be there for your family. understand how it is so hard to manage this and how to accept that this illness is just that. It is an illness and hard to accept that it is a forever sickness. we all want to be healthy and not have to do So very much. No one wants to have to work this hard to be healthy.But You can do it,I have seen you do it..">

I thanked him for his encouragement and not trying to shame me. He has been my endo for over 12 years, and those are two of the traits I like so much about him: compassion paired with competence

I am proud to say that accept for an expected ripped out in fusion set Saturday night and an arising BG of 365, whichI lowered by injection.
Good results since I have changed my ways.. I have not been over 147 in 6 days!!I had only 4 lows in 6 days...I had a chip craving which I forstalled with celery and peppers dipped in cheese, not a whole bag of Puffcorn Delites. Instead of watching recorded episodes of Scandal and the Bold and the beautiful at night, I run up and down the basement steps to the kitchen. have also started brisk walking 3 times a day around the neighborhood and on my lunch breaks when away from home, just for 10 minutes. >

I will not have an A1c of 8.0!! I am feeling really energetic and clear-headed, just from < 6 days of being away from the Diabetic thrill ride park. Feet still a tad tingly, but that will pass with more stable blood glucoses.

I purchased an Android smartphone in July and am still learning it.
I like the apps and the very precise and sharp camera, but since I am a technology immigrant for whom HIGH tech is not a native tongue.
I am only somewhat fluent;I will not ask you how to post the picture of the past 2 days of the picture of the slightly rolling flat lines on the CGM display, but I am proud of them

Just wanted to let every one who may be having months or a year of a time not in the best control, that you can get it back...

God bless,

Glad you are back Brunetta.

BTW My dad died at 83 rather than 53. My "typoese" LOL

Whew, I was staring at that 53 in confusion for several minutes!

I had no idea, Brunetta, that you were having such a hard time with your D, but of course, I didn't! My guess is that if you didn't want them to, even the people in your non-virtual life didn't know either! But I understand the kind of pain you must have been in with that double hit of grief in your life, and it makes sense that the D would suffer. But I am filled with joy that you are back! I know you know what to do and will be a shining D star again in no time. But I also hope you know that you have always been a shining star, A1C notwithstanding. Glad you've returned to yourself (and to us!)

Hi Brunetta. I'm sorry you've been having such a difficult time, both with grief and with diabetes. You are strong, you are doing great. Trudy

Thanks Trudy and Zoe, great Friends you are both!!!

God bless!!

Hi Brunetta,

I'm so sorry for your losses and the rough time you were having with D management and I'm very glad that you are getting back on track again with things.. that is great!!!

4 lows in a week is wonderful!!!! I had 3- just this am, starting with one worse oneā€¦ lol.

I think that is great you got a smart phone to help you. I have been using mine since about 4 months after my diagnosis and it helps me so much.. I set reminder alarms for everything and I keep records of everything on my phone. I can't live without my phone now. I'm sure you will get the hang of it very soon :)


I'm happy to read that you've decided to take control again. Diabetes can be such a mind and emotion game. It also a very demanding. It doesn't like to share time with other important life issues like grieving. Congratulations on setting new goals. I've been as high as 8.5% on my A1c and find it miserable.

You doctor was right; you know how to turn this around. You just need to do it. In a few months you will be feeling much better. Welcome back!

According to Yogi Berra "Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical." I believe the same can be said of diabetes. It is easy to let the mental part get away from us. You suffered two devastating losses in a short time and just let that part get away from you.

It's wonderful to know that you are again fully engaged in the game, God Bless You Brunetta.

HOW CAN YOU NOT WATCH SCANDAL!!? I have fit it into decent BG for the last two weekends and we finally got through 2x seasons and the DVR'ed ones from this season last weekend. I am certainly horrible when I watch it though, cocktails and junk food.

I was very sorry to hear about your struggles. I know you shared your family's losses with us and I'm sure that was very difficult for you. I'm glad to hear you are snapping back into being on track and I agree with your doc that you know what to do and how to do it. I had an odd year myself with two bizarre injuries (hematoma in my leg from "suck it up and run through cramps..." at a race in May= 4 weeks off+ surgery to excise a cyst in my armpit in June, eek plus 3 more weeks off running...) plus eating potato chips for therapeutic purposes b/c I was bummed about not working out. Not the same things as your losses but I was lost and found junk food to be deeply satisfying. I kept my BG ok but gained about 10 lbs. Then I found Shaun T and did T25 to get back on track and had a good 1/2 marathon yesterday. If you are starting at zero, running up and down stairs is a great workout. I used to do that at family gatherings to get the R going between the appetizers and dinner like on Thanksgiving. I hope that the fresh air serves you well and helps restore you, not from the losses but to where you can move on and process them while keeping yourself going!

The easiest way to do pics is to take them and then send them to an email account, save them to your computer and then upload them to a thread. I have not gotten to where I can upload directly to a thread from my iphone although it may be possible, I would need a magnifying glass to see stuff on my computer.

good for u brunette!!!
ur dr is great!!! glad u're off the rollercoaster

I can't get on u I done the same after losing my g-father and mom within 5 years of eachother HUGGGGS my friend

Dear Brunetta,

You have been an inspiration before.
And sharing how things have been difficult for you and the reminders that it's easy to get off track helps others who have also gotten off track.

It will be a pleasure to read your future posts about how you get back on top of things and how your health and your A1c's improve!

Best wishes,


Thanks so much to each and everyone who has replied or "liked" my post. It means so much to me to know I have Tufriends who care about me. Still working with the BG stability game.. but I am feeling empowered and slowly getting things on track...Off to work and a lovely day. Hope you all have a fine weekend!!

God Bless,