My husband has a hard time relating

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1

God bless my husband. He is the most patient, loving and kind hearted man I know! I thank the Lord for him everyday. But I find it so difficult sometimes. I do all that I can to explain to him what I experience when I have a low blood sugar. Going low reminds me of panic attacks, which I have every so often, and so my lows essentially become panic attacks. I fell like no one can say anything to make me feel better.

For the most part, when I’m low I feel…
scared.
frustrated.
nervous.
shaky.
dizzy.
like I’m gonna die.

…and for some reason, and I get it, it’s because Nick doesn’t KNOW how it FEELS…he tries so hard to rationally help me to think positively about the situation. (This happens a lot! I’ve always been the Debbie Downer in the relationship, haha) When a doctor tells me, “If your blood sugar goes low, drink/consume 15 grams of carbs and then wait 15 minutes,” I end of doing the complete opposite. I drink/chew glucose tabs, eat everything in sight until I feel full, test my blood sugar every 3 minutes to “make sure it’s going up,” want nothing more than my husband to HOLD me and say, “I love you, I’ve got you…” But my husband likes to say things like, “Just wait 15 minutes, you’re going to be ok! You’re sugar WILL increase, you know this.” Yea, no sh*t Sherlock, I KNOW this, but that doesn’t help me FEEL any better. All I keep thinking about is that I feel like I’m going to die and I need him to rock me like my mom used to do when I was 7 y/o with a low.

I can’t blame him, tho. He doesn’t understand. =( Sometimes I feel like it’s a big chore for him to stop what he’s doing to come console me. Not all the time, don’t get me wrong, my husband is great…but I still don’t like inconveniencing him.

Don’t even GET me started on my 'tude when my sugar’s high. God bless our significant others, right? My moodiness and his quiet and calm nature is perfect for me. And I’m so grateful.

Do you guys experience this sort of frustration with your significant other? How do you properly communicate what it is you need from the other person. Are you more independent when you go low?

2

I understand the panic attacks I have had them. When I have a low though I don’t tell anyone, I am afraid they will think I am doing it for attention. So I just go off and eat something like crackers, and I find it is important to set down and rest when I am trying to get it to come back up. I have tried to keep on working but that is not so good. I usually don’t test unless I feel it is not coming back fast enough then I do. I know I should but I have no insurance and those damn test strips are costly. I just get tired of being different.

3

I have a hard time because my boyfriend just doesn’t get the whole diabetes thing. I tell him that I can’t have potatoes but yet he makes them almost every night of the week. He definatly knows I need to stay away from sweets but stops at the Hostess discount store and brings home junk saying “I was thinking of you so I got you this”. He’s patient with me when my numbers are high and I’m crabby and he always asks or reminds me that I have to take my shot. But it’s like nothing else is sinking in. He is definatly a work in progress.

4

I am one of those significant other experiencing the frustration from the other side :wink: I am going to make an brave attempt to describe some of the thing that frustrate me.

First of all, the thing that frustrate me most is Diabetes itself… it does not frustrates me all the time… but when it does I can’t seem to find consolation. I feel grateful that my husband does his best to take good care of himself, and he is on top of his health most of the time. I imagine myself on his shoes and IA realize, I would probably have more trouble getting a good A1C.
Also, I finally understood, although it took me a lot of reading and tummy ache to realize that no matter how much I try, and how much my live has evolve around diabetes lately… I still don’t know what it is like to be in his shoes. I have come to terms with that, and it is cool.

But the frustration has no discrimination on my type…

THE HIGHS!!! AHHHGG! and the moodiness, I try my best to stay calm and quiet most of the time… but let me tell you,sometimes it gets to me. I love him like i love myself… if he is high, I worry for complications too… only that I have very limited power to act someway or another… I breathe, breathe, and try to help. With all this years, I have come to terms that in any high there is an invisible help line that I can (or should) not cross… The problem is that it is hard to know where is that line… it all depends of so many things…it is like. Sometimes it is fine to be the annoying type 3 I have learned here in TuDiabetes, I can be… and then I ask “are you high?”… sometime it is not… Sometimes it is cool to suggest “do you want to go for a walk…” sometimes it the worse insult I could come up with.

I have to say in his defense that during lows Manuel stays usually very calm… however I don’t understand, sometimes he knows he is low, and he will not stop doing whatever he is doing to go get something… he waits until he can not move… that is VERY frustrating to me… but most of the time, I just ask, test, if need too, breathe and get him something, test again… Sometimes I get bossy, sorry… I don’t even notice… but I guess I am guilty. :wink:

5

Ohhh, how I can relate!
The moodiness of the highs are intolerable. I dont really realize how ridiculous I am being (demanding, unreasonable, just bitchy) until its often too late. This is the hard part. I would hate for someone to call my moodswing into relation to my diabetes (much like I loathe to attribute moodiness to PMS), but sadly, sometimes that really is the case. I try to be aware of whats going on and mellow out if possible. But it is certainly not easy. I think it is harder to communicate through a high because I am sometimes not initially aware that my moodiness can be attributed to something other than being genuinely pissed off!
As for the lows.
Well, I have that same problem with Anxiety and trying to treat a low with the minimal amount of sugar when you are certain that you will die if everything in sight is not consumed immediately. I do like to have people around but not “active” when Im low. I want them there so they can make sure I dont pass out, but I really hate when people are on top of me trying to help me out of my low…it seems to heighten my anxiety. Thankfully, most people have adhered to my rule of not incessantly asking if I am ok, and just kind of being there for me if I need help. I am just very grateful for the incredible patience of those around me!

6

I CAN RELATE
my most frustrating moments are when my husband think i should wait on him hand and foot 24/7 regardless how i am feeling,high or low bg’s.he never pick up anything behind himself or put anything away.i am a stay at home mom,but worked outside the home for 33yrs,and it was never this way at first,but now i cannot take it any longer.i am type 1 diabetic with my own problems and i cannot keep going at this speed.how do i tell him that i would like to go back to work without upsetting him?please commend