Hmm. When Clara begins taking care of herself on her own, she may spend even more (than an hour) time with it. It’s NOT a bad thing. If it were my child with diabetes instead of me, I might spend even more time on “living with” diabetes than I do now. The hours spent daily on my Type 1 diabetes - being a diabetic is part of my normal life. 1 hour? No way Jose! I feel my best when I’m on top of everything, and that requires I put some time and effort into it. Sometimes I’m only up to putting time into it (and don’t feel like putting in the effort).
I think your mom is doing just what you are doing: worrying about your child. Just like you worry about Clara, your mom worries about you (as she also worries about Clara, no doubt).
Of course Clara’s diabetes is HUGE in your life. You are doing all the right things to help Clara and to empower yourself with knowledge and a healthy support group for YOU. (That’s being here at Tu!) It sounds like Mom’s concerned that it’s having a negative affect on you and your life. She may fear you are being swallowed up (consumed) by Clara’s diabetes to the point of forsaking yourself and your own happiness and, being your mom, she wants YOU to be happy too. She’s your Mom. She loves you. She may be in need of YOUR assurance too!
So here’s my take/advice: Realize Mom may be noticing some change in you that’s beginning to concern her. You might examine your current activities and make sure you are taking time out to care for you too. Also, she’s human and may not deliver this message in a happy way. Mom needs your reassurance that your life hasn’t boiled down to Clara and Clara’s diabetes and that’s it. She loves her granddaughter, and she also loves her daughter.
If you have “ambivalent feelings toward D” yet respond to Mom’s concern with “my daughter could die!” you are not sending a reassuring message to Mom that you are handling things well. (I know you are handling things VERY well Cindy!) Pulling out the end-all be-all probably made her even more worried, yet she responded carefully to you, because she wasn’t intending to upset you - and was probably reminding herself that of course this is front and center in your life! It IS huge! I’ll bet she wishes she could fix it all for both you and Clara.
Clara’s diabetes is new to your family. Since your mom has been so involved, know that it’s affecting her too. Both of your hearts are in the right place. There’s just a whole lot of love going on there! Diabetes can push the limits of everyone in a family. Patience, understanding, and support is going to continue to get you all through. And YES there is a place ahead when this will be easier for all of you!
You are doing a GREAT job Cindy!!! And I’m so glad you are here!!! (Only one hour? Sheesh! LOL)