My type one is killing me in more than one way

Its killing me. Before I was a diabetic i had such an immense desire for success. Now i just dont care about much anymore, i really dont. I dont know what else to say. Be strong? See a shrink? I’ve done both to no avail. I feel hopeless and the only things i want to do are lay around all day and make sure my bg isn’t high. I wana kill myself sometime from frustration. I am at my wits end. I always told myself i would never resort to hard drugs, but as time goes on they seem more and more appealing.

Oh no, I feel sorry that you are having a difficult time. You can feel much better if you stay out of bed as much as possible. Exercise every day, drink water, eat at least six vegetables a day. I guarantee you will improve. I was in bed a year. I forced myself to do these things. At first it was very hard. Now I am feeling really good. Diabetes is dehydrating and that is why you feel so lethargic. Drink 72 ounces of water daily and move. Stuff will fall into place. Remember that what you eat becomes a part of you so eat healthy. As far as the hard drugs go believe me they suck. At first you are fine then they mess up your whole body. I was on strong pain killers and they stopped working and I had to withdraw from them. It was not worth it. I hope you feel better. Just drinking the water for three days will make you feel much better.

Diabetes certainly sucks, it can be unrelenting. I am so glad that you have reached out on this forum...reading other peoples experiences can help you not to feel so alone or powerless. I would love to say buck up it will get better (because it will) but I do not want to sound flippant. Ask your Endo or Diabetes educator if there is a support group in your area....or look on line. There are also some wonderful books that can help you to feel empowered again. Kerri Sparling has a new book out "Balancing Diabetes" which is a good read. But most of all take care of yourself all of us. Good luck and hang in there.

There will be a Chatroom Discussion tomorrow (4/2/14)called Diabetes and Depression, which might be helpful to you. Good ideas always crop up in these chat programs, and you can ask questions live during the chat. Best wishes.

So sorry, Dan. I know that doesn't really help, but please know that we have all been where you are, and unfortunately could be again at any day. The important thing is that you are among friends, we get where you are at. Trudy mentioned the discussion tomorrow and it appears that it is perfect timing for you! This forum is the best I've ever seen for any type of chronic illness. The best support, information, and help! Keep your chin up, I'm counting on you to know that I can get through it next time I am in the dump...because you made it out! I know you will.

Hey, thanks so much for the support, i cant emphasize how much it means to me. What time is the discussion for diabetes and depression that Trudy and Ronda mentioned?

Hey never give up. I am 86 and with diabetes and all the other things that go with old age. I do not let it deter me. I hate the damned walker. I hate trying to cook hanging on to a walker. I just enjoy my friends here. Go out when I can with friends. I hate sticking myself 4 times a day with insulin. You can get very de[erssed thinking about friends. You have selected the right spot for help and support. Take good care. You can do it. Reed

I feel showered with love and support! I read every single response as soon as I get the email notification. I feel a little better already. I have taken everything everyone has said into account and i am still listening with my ears wide open and am looking forward to more responses!

Hi Dan, the times for tomorrow's Community Chat are 11AM Pacific, 2PM Eastern. I'm glad you're feeling better. Btw, you can find people to talk to on the Chatroom most of the time, to ask questions or just for the fun of it. Cheers!

More of the same from me, Dan. It can be a scary, debilitating disease, and it is insidious in how it can rob you of parts of your life if you aren't vigilant. Get up and move and fake it 'til ya make it.

Oh my dear. I am so sorry for your troubles and I empathize Greatly. Right after I was dx 7 years ago, right after I received horrible guidelines from my doc, I was filled with suicidal thoughts. After researching various methods, I concluded I was too inept for most of them and so would probably survive badly impaired and a burden on my family; or I would succeed and ruin the lives of other people.

I am an artist, and my creative life shriveled to nothing. Finally, I googled diabetic artists and up popped the artist's group here at TuD. Changed my life forever.

I still get depressed, but now I have a place to come to where the support is steady and every variation on our common scourge and the diabolical whimsy with which it manifests is open for discussion.

We are diverse and you never need to feel alone again!.....Blessings...Judith in Portland

How are you this morning? You have been blessed with many wise comments. I hope you take them to heart. I was thinking about you and just thought I would drop in and say hello. HUGS, Reed

Very well said! I already do some of these things as well, and will implement the others. Sleep for me is a biggie as well!

Hi Dan,
I feel your pain buddy, diabetes is an exhausting illness and leaves us at risk of depression.

I've been depressed at several points in my life for extended periods and didn't think anything would help, I sneered and responded negatively when I was offered advice on diet, sleep, exercise, lifestyle changes.

I eventually got completely fed up, I was not having much luck with SSRIs and SSNIs and found the side effects of anti depressants almost as bad as the illness.
I know we're all different and everything is context specific, but here is what worked for me.

1) I stopped obsessing over diabetes, I stopped chasing a HbA1c under 6%, eased off, I still kept doing the right things but the hours a day I spent focusing on my diabetes dropped significantly. Interestingly my HbA1c only went from a 6.1% to a 6.2% despite a massive reduction spent time testing, eating strict no carb etc.
2) Exercise, I started exercising daily, cardio mostly, along with some resistance stuff. I lost 20kg and my energy and well being rocketed. Running, cycling really are good for getting in the zone.
3) Lots and lots of water. I get 3 litres a day, really helped with my well being and energy levels. I read a few books on nutrition, M Pollen, Gary Taubes and have spent the last two years eating lots of greens, lean meats, fish and limiting carbs. I don't eat processed or packaged foods and obviously limit sugar. This again has had a big impact.

4) I also recognised that I was quite an anxious person and would be subject to anxiety cycles that good last for days at a time. I know believe anxiety to be the cause of my depression. I've been attempting to retrain my thought processes, I've pretty much come to the conclusion that all worries are either based in the past or the future, so there is little point expending energy on things beyond your control. I try and be mindful as much as possible, avoid rumination and keep myself busy and in the present.

Any activity which enables flow, e.g. an activity which you love in which you can become completely absorbed is great for mental health I think. Mine are racing around on motorbikes or running!

4) Sleep, I started tracking my sleep duration and insuring I slept between 7-9 hours a night, if I had a deficit at the end of the week, I made it up over the weekend. I appreciate this might not be feasible for everyone due to work and family commitments. But sorting out my sleep cycle, limiting screen time in the evenings, this again paid dividends.
I think small sensible changes such as the above work together in a synergistic fashion and enable you to generally pull yourself up out of the abyss (mild to moderate depression only obviously, I don't want to belittle other peoples struggles)

I don't think being "strong" comes into it, that's typically advice from somebody who has no experience of mental health issues.

Just recognise you're having a tough time, going through the mill and need some time to find your feet and feel well again. It won't last forever!

All the best,

Words can not describe how much I appreciate all of the feedback I have received. I am truly touched! I am not back to my old self but I feel a boost from all of the support I have received from everyone. I have taken notes from everyone suggestions and will implement everything I possibly can into my life! Please keep the comments and suggestions coming, as my ears are wide open!