Thanks JT, yes i will learn how to live with this.
I am also thinking of getting a diabetic trained dog, because i need to be motivated to go for walks and i know having a dog, a man's best friend, i will have no excuses to not go for walks.
Also these types of dogs can sense when you are going in a Hypo.
Since my girlfriend left me 2 months ago, i have also been lonely.
I suspect she left me because of my condition, but whatever.
It's been a rough year, too many things happening at once.
you are welcome :) you're just on the adjustment period but you'll get used to it. Been there and later on i learned to live with it. A dog would be nice so you will have company when you do your walking, and you can do more physical activities like sports. I got bored when i'm at the gym and i don't walk since i don't always have a company so i get myself in to sports :)
I'm sorry about your girlfriend, whatever her reason maybe, i don't think it would be fair if her reason is your condition, she should be the one who will understand you and takes care of you, but i know that this is a cliche but as what they always say, when God takes away something/someone from you it is because He wants you to have someone better :) God bless you and be strong :)
Thank you JT, you are right, God saw that we were not meant to be together and staying together was just prolonging the suffering.
We were too different and she did not have any empathy or understand what i was going through. All she cared was for her selfish goals which were getting married and having kids asap, but she did not want to work hard towards those goals, in life if you want something you cannot skip the steps to get there. It takes 2 to make things happen, But she expected too much from me and i was already dealing with my condition, i could not do any miracles. Diabetes is like a 2nd job and your partner must understand that.
If they don't, then they are just selfish and think about their needs first. You know i am a very clean and organized person, i am a virgo and it's in our nature. She was messy and brought disorder in my life.
I do not need that. She even hated when i injected my insulin in front of her. Told me to go do it somewhere else.
I am better off now, i felt a huge pressure off my shoulders when it was over.
I can't believe the stupidity of some people.
I was denied a CGM by my Endo because she says i am newly insulin user so i cannot have a CGM yet.
She also refused to sign me a medical letter because i missed classes due to my condition.
wtf is going on in this world? Are they here to help or just make our life worse?
I explained to the dietician and the nurse my situation and the Endo didn't even want to talk to me. I told them i got anxiety attacks and tunnel vision during class and that i cannot continue like this and they just pretended to care or understand, it's like they don't give a crap.
I don't understand this system man, this is pathetic.
Oh DW, this just makes me sad and angry to hear that your gf told you not to inject your insulin in front of her! I am so sorry to hear that! Hearing that brought tears to my eyes.
What state do you live in? I also looked into getting a D-Dog. I am in MN and D-Dog's are not available here. I always thought a D-dog would be better than a CGM, they can sense highs or lows, and bring you juice or insulin if necessary. Plus a companion to go for walks! I am way rooting for you to get a D-Dog!
I used to call out to my young son to bring my blood checker and juice at those 3 am lows in the middle of the night, sometimes he would bring me juice, and wake me up to test my bg, I think he could also sense when my bg was low or high, not just by symptoms, whenever he would wake me up from sleep to have some juice, he was always right that my bg was low. What an amazing kid. I felt like it was not fair to him to have a diabetic mom, sometimes he would not want to go play with other kids, because he wanted to stay close to me, to be sure I was okay. He lives with his father in another state now. He still texts or calls often, Mom, how is your diabetes, how is your blood sugar, did you get a cure yet? He tells me that if I don't get the cure, he will go to medical school and get the cure. I love his concern and care, but I want him to explore his own dreams and passions. You know after he left to go live with his dad, I cried so much, the loss and loneliness about did me in, this is when I developed vitiligo around my eyes, and I could not stop crying, I noticed tears and short term insulin, humulog or novolog, look the same. I was told by a Native teacher, that our two eyes cry - one eye/I for ourselves and one for others, soon both eyes are crying. My teacher told me there are two faces of truth, one happy, one sad, they are the same face. When I decided to stop crying so much, and wipe away my tears, then my arm pits started to cry - big tear drops, then white patches of vitiligo in my arm pits. I was reminded of a bible verse, although had for a long time stopped believing in God, they will wipe away all tears from their eyes, neither will there be mourning nor suffering, the former things have passed away.
Thank you DW and others for such kindness and support given on this forum, do you know that for most my diabetic life I have felt so alone, felt like I was the only diabetic in the world and that nobody understood. Some very beautiful things are going on here, deeper understanding, a shifting inside of me that gives me greater awareness, I am very thankful for this family. Who knew that an Internet forum could be so powerful and healing? ThankYou!!!
I'm sorry to hear your doctor visit was disappointing, DW. Did they give you any practical suggestions for blood sugar management? Did they look at your numbers and give you any feedback. If not and if they have a negative attitude, I would look for another doctor. Even if it is a PCP, not an endo, you deserve to be treated with respect.
I do have to say I do think that getting a CGM or even a pump would be premature. As you say, you have a lot of stress right now and I recommend focusing on learning the basics like I:C, ISF, Basal and carb counting and getting your numbers into a good range. Later you can decide if a CGM and/or a pump would be good for you and then go through the large learning curves those things entail. Just my opinion.
I just wanted to have peace of mind while i am working so i don't have to spend my time worrying all the time. I cannot prick my fingers constantly to check where i am at, i am tired of that.
What is the big deal of allowing me to wear a CGM?
I just don't get it. I have no choice but to cancel the courses. I cannot study with all these things i have to think about. I won't be able to learn if my mind is not there and my body is playing games by going up and down constantly. I need a cgm to help me obtain that stability i am looking for.
But i understand what you are saying Zoe, i know I:C and ISF is important.
I just don't feel like the timing is right to do all this learning all at once. I am not a supercomputer that will grasp all this diabetes stuff and web programming stuff all at once and plus i missed like a whole week of classes this week. My brain has a limit too, especially recently with these lows i been having i have had memory problems and trouble concentrating.
It really sucks because i thought i would be able to do it all.
I also know this opportunity will not come back if i let it go.
This is so frustrating.
Welcome to the paradigm of Western Medicine. This is one reason I decided to go to medical school myself, and why I seek therapies, treatments, cures... beyond Western medicine. For me, an Endo is only good for writing a Rx for insulin, ordering lab work that I already know without giving up vials of blood. The diabetic dietician only offered how to dose for pizza, she knew nothing of a paleo diet, or raw food diet, or macrobiotics. The diabetic educator could only change basal rates, pump profiles, adjust carb/ratio settings.
Today I went to a health care expo, the booth at sat at to share info on benefits of Chinese medicine, herbs/acupuncture was right next to the ADA, American Diabetes Association. I think bike-a-thons are cool and everything, and the potential of support with other diabetics may be a benefit ,,, but the raising money for so-called awareness, for a cure? for research? ... to make technological toys such as the CGM and real-time paradigms... are a joke.
I know you were excited about a CGM, I was excited about an autologous islet stem cell transplant. When I watched the Shultz videos I was so excited because it was right here, where I live. I thought, here it is, this is the cure, and I am going to get it! Nope! They told me I only had diabetes for 29 years, that I was young yet, to wait until 2014 when it goes to market!
Medicine is a Business... marketing tools that target diabetics often offer false hope! I would love to see Medtronic and Eli Lilly go out of business! Until then, I do back flips with the crazy hoop dance to get a bottle of insulin and pump supplies, begging for insulin and pump supplies while I hold my breath for a cure. People are not insulin-dependent, they are dependent on a system that says, give us your money to research a cure for diabetes, and you can have this free ADA pen, bag, and t-shirt jersey that says, I am a diabetic!
Who more appropriate than a new Insulin dependent to have a CGM to track trends?
FIND A DIFFERENT ENDO>
To my experience, a CGM only works if bg is stable and within target range. It has it's benefits as a tool to track trends and gain even tighter range of control. With extreme fluctuation of highs and lows, this tool is not beneficial and more of a frustration.
DW, what did your Endo, dietician, educator say in regards to your insulin dosing, carb/counting insulin ratios, sliding scales, sensitivity, and use of short acting insulin? What about oral meds? Insulin dosing takes time as we work with ourselves, it is constantly changing, as we are constantly changing. If you are in fact making any insulin on your own, and it is functioning as it is supposed to, and you are taking exogenous insulin, then gaining bg stability is going to be a challenge for you, even with appropriate carb counting.
An Endo is basically only going to spend 5-15 minutes with you, tweak your meds, order your labs, and write your scripts. The business of diabetes is designed to defeat the healer. The medical paradigm of this society is sick and diseased. It is a sin to cure people in our free society. It is population control.
I am sorry, but I feel you are lucky, if you indeed have LADA, type 1.5 diabetes, then maybe your immune system has not completely destroyed your beta cells. I do Not get the concept of taking insulin to keep the beta cells in the business of producing insulin.
Your symptoms may or may not have anything to do with diabetes, it could be part of it, once labelled 'diabetic' everything is because of diabetes, at best Western medical care is only going to treat the symptoms. They are not going to give us a cure, it would put doctors, medical professionals, pharmaceutical companies, medical device companies out of work. There are many kind hearted medical professionals out there that do care, that have compassion, but you and your illness is their job security. We (you and me, and us, diabetics...) are doing the best we can, the best we know how, with what we have to work with. I agree, get another Endo. Not getting a medical excuse for missed classes is ridiculous! Your body,spirit, mind, is undergoing some serious shifts and changes. You are going through a Warrior's right of passage. Your journey is different than mine, different than each of ours on this forum, yet we are one collectively in this together, under the umbrella term, diabetes. "Connecting people touched by diabetes". I was Zapped with this disease, I onset quick and sudden one week after chicken pox, my immune system like a warrior/fighter targeted and killed my beta cells. Not being able to recognise the self vs. the non-self is autoimmune disease. I learned to see,,, diabetes taught me to see, in order to be warriors we must be able to see. I see you, I have my eyes on you, that is why I am replying to your posts. You don't get what I am saying, and others reading this may not get it either. What I am typing is reading me, they are tracking us, counting us, recording us, under their radar, on this forum, like a real-time CGM, it is a tool,,, and I am using it, because it works for me. The work of a warrior is work, it is a full-time job, diabetes is only a piece of it. I am a peaceful warrior, but this fight against diabetes is a war, it does get confusing who is the enemy, because sometimes it is me, obviously - autoimmune disease, I attack myself. I am powerful beyond belief, and so are you. Maybe by tomorrow, I will forget that, if I do, will you please remind me? Maybe I will ride in the diabetes bike-a-thon, (they can raise funds for whatever they want - for research, for cures, for awareness,,, I asked ADA today, whose brochures said only 3 types of diabetes, 1, 2, and gestational - I asked what about LADA or MODY? They said they did not know what I was talking about, they never heard of that, and neither had I until this forum.) I am doing my own research. I want a jersey that says, I am Not a Diabetic riding for the someday Cure! I am not a proud diabetic, speaking out a message of awareness - I AM Paying Attention! Number one, this disease costs too much money, time, and effort! I don't have the luxury to depend on insulin, pump supplies, test strips, lab work... while my Endo makes me wait, in the waiting room for an hour to see me for 15 minutes, 10 of which he spends on the phone making his golfing plans for the weekend. Yes, that happened. I asked, are you here to treat me, or should I reschedule? He said, look, this is a practice, this is my medical practice, and you are lucky I even see you because you are on government medical assistance. I said, I see you and I'll raise you a lawsuit and left. I never did, sue that is, because I was fighting too many things, single parenting, school, ect, ect, ect, forms, forms, forms. I needed a form signed by the doctor for medical assistance, food assistance, and child-care assistance, so I could continue school - he would not sign it, I lost my medical, food, and child-care assistance. I continued to go to class, I brought my son with me, or my neighbour would sometimes watch him. Medtronic sent a 'charity' package of recalled faulty pump supplies, EliLilly sent me expired and ineffective insulin. I didn't drop out of school. I dropped OUT. I went into DKA and ended up in the hospital. My bf, unlike your gf, stuck by me, took care of my son while I was in the hospital. It was not fair to him or my son. I broke up with my bf, and arrangements were made for my son to go live with his father. I lost my state grant to go to school. Then I got an attorney, who worked pro-bono, and she suggested I apply for disability benefits, I had been that route before, and not only did I want a label of 'disabled' I had already been denied disability claim several times before. She said the point wasn't to obtain disability benefits, it was to 'buy' time, so to borrow some time, I got a determination of 'pre' disability, (maybe that is like pre-diabetes,IDK - a warning),,, Living with Diabetes is the Study of Time,and the escape of death,,, I got back on medical assistance, I got a new Endo, who is super hot, and very patient with me. He does not call me a "difficult patient", he understands, Diabetes is difficult, he sees me as a person who has Diabetes, not a Diabetic. He honestly says he does not know anyway to treat this condition other than; diet, exercise, and medication. He gives me referral to explore options, he is kind, and smart, and listens with his heart. Now, on the other side, I am a medical school graduate, I know a good doctor from a bad doctor, when I see patients, I listen with my heart, I provide treatment with skill and precision, yet in always treat the spirit first. I get the business of medicine, I am in the Business of Acupuncture, if I don't have a certain number of patients each week, I cannot pay my rent, buy food, ect. We are all in the business of self preservation, everything on this planet pursues it's own self interest. The cure lies in the disease,,, the disease lies in the cure... do you get it? It is all lies. We are killing ourselves, Step One, in Warriorship 101, Kill Yourself! I am not talking suicide,,, I am saying let go, and go get it, Go get whatever it is you need to obtain bg balance, if it is a CGM, get it! If it is a D-dog, get it! If it is too far out of your reach, and if you can't get it,,, let it go. It will come to you! It will come to you--- So be ready for it. That's about all I have to say,,, I got to go.
Diabetic Warrior - Take Back Your Power!!!
Yes you are right TurtleDove, everything in this world is about money and power.
I have seen how selfish and materialistic humans can be. How corruption has taken over the system. it's everywhere and it's like a disease.
it is sad to see how the world is sick but TV never shows it to you. The media just shows what they are allowed to show you. Have you ever seen the movie 1984 Big brother? Big brother is watching you.
We are a number, a tax payer, a slave of the system. There is no freedom.
We are also a slave of this disease, the day we became people with diabetes. If there was a cure they probably would not even tell us or just keep it for the rich elite and the poor and ill would just continue to suffer and they would probably make it like a million dollar cure that only the rich could afford.
I know how the system works it's hypocracy. When i wanted to study programming my unemployment office refused saying i had enough diplomas and should be able to find work.
Then when i made a complaint and told them i had student loans and was diabetic and the field i am in is very hard to find work, they called me and said they would help me.
They only help when you file complaints or show them you are not a quitter or when they see that you might press charges and it will cost them more. The system is evil, there is no empathy for the suffering.
They think you are lazy and don't want to work or want to take advantage of the system. They do not understand what it is to have anxiety attacks or convulsions or hypos or confusion and memory loss. They do not understand how it feels to prick your fingers 20 times a day and inject yourself 4 to 5 times a day.
If everyone had this, then they would understand only then.
We live in a society of waste, mass consumption and unhealthy living.
Society is sick we cannot deny it anymore. When H1N1 fear came out and everyone was getting vaccinated, i knew it was a big scam. I refused to get it. My family doctor said i should get flu shots since i am diabetic, i refused.
I have my right to refuse. My Endo thinks she is all powerful for refusing me my CGM, well she will see i am not a quitter and i always get what i want and if i lose my studies because of her decision, i will make a complaint and she will remember my name.
Don't let anybody put you down or think less of you because you have diabetes. In my opinion we are better than those people because we can accomplish a lot more in one day and we are warriors.
Be proud of who you are and never let anything bring you down.
Remember that every time you are near the end of hard time in your life, something good happens soon after.
Just like the days of the week, monday's always suck and then when friday arrives everyone is in a good mood and things just happen.
My doctor once told me i might be hypochondriac (the fear of disease) because i was always complaining about anxiety and heart palpitations.
Then when my thyroid went hypo and i got diabetes he realized i was right.
My body was warning me about diabetes by giving me anxiety attacks.
You are the one and only who knows your body well. When you feel something is not right follow your gut. I knew i had something and it wasn't because i was paranoid. It was because my body was trying to communicate to me to change my lifestyle or eat less sweets or you are gonna crash.
Unfortunately we do not have a check engine light like cars do.
We have other subtle signals like anxiety, heart palpitations, sleepless nights, etc...
To finalize i would like to say thank you to everyone here helping me through these hard times. I know i will help some people too one day in return.
I'm sorry that she's been selfish and not being supportive to you. well, it only means that you don't deserve her. there is that one special woman out there that will surely love and accept you and is willing to help you get through and lighten the situation, you have God, family and us your friends to support you and will pray for you. Yes, i totally agree with you, life is not easy, it is a continuous battle and there are no short cuts to success, determination, hard work and faith are the best ingredients for that. you are better off without her dear. A partner should be the one helping you and will be there for you, that why it is called a 'partner". You can find her, just be strong and i believe you are. you are a good man and you deserve someone who will treat you right and love you unconditionally ;) God bless you!
I can't seem to find any stability.
My BG is going up and down. i have done 5 hypos this week, almost every day.
When will it stabilize?
I don't like the feeling i get when i am hypo.
Just be strong DW. I will be praying for you, all of us had been through a lot and others are worse because they can't even afford to supply their insulins and the things they need to control their diabetes. You can get through this, that's why we are all here, we will help each other. Be strong!
Question.
If you have a snack 2 or 3 hours after a meal, are you suppose to bolus again before having the snack? Because i noticed when i have a snack after a meal sometimes my sugar spikes.
They say you suppose to have small snacks in between meals, but i am always worried i might raise my BG by eating, so i don't eat and get hungry and starve myself and then it's worse because i start to go too low...
So are we suppose to inject again when having snacks or our last bolus is suppose to cover it?
Let's say i had breakfast at 6:30 am and injected 7units, then i have a break at 9:30am and i get hungry and want some snacks, do i need to inject or not?
thanks
You should bolus every time you have carbs. If your BG ratio is not set precisely and you run low, I think that you're better off to 1) treat with a quick acting sugar and 2) note it somehow and maybe recalculate the ratio by a unit for "next time"? With a pump and CGM, I've noticed that even small adjustments like .05U/ hour basal or 1G carb/Unit of insulin (like from 6 to 7...) can make a perceptible difference in my numbers. This, in turn, led me to conclude that my years of flying up and down all over the place (long story...) were likely from just guessing and not being too concerned about precision or data.
For a lot of lows, I am treating them with 5-10G of carbs, rather than the 15 recommended. I have kind of switched to lower carb snacks, again in the 8-10 range (i.e. cheese and nuts, rather than pretzels...) in an effort to control my "pantsometer" as much as my "glucometer" but it seems to work both ways and help my BG stay decently controlled with less suprises from testing.
In some cases, if I recalculate what I ate and was *really* short on carbs and am running low, I might eat carbs w/o bolusing but I try to make that the exception, rather than the rule?
Okay, this is what I don't get! It is making me sad, mad, and confused! Why?!? DW, why are your medical doctors and providers not teaching you how to calculate insulin/carb ratios, sliding scales, insulin sensitivity? Has any medical provider sat down with you and explain this to you? Giving you insulin and a syringe without instruction, is like handing a loaded gun to a child. I am about to come over there, and have what for with your doctor. If you are going to be on insulin... you should be on a pump and have a cgm, and you should be trained how to use these tools! And if not a pump and cgm, you still need to be trained how to use insulin/syringe, food, and exercise as a tools! I would pitch my two cents about dosing and carb counting, ect. ect. ect. But, my body is different than yours, what works for me - would not for you, any advice on dosing would be useless, except to say,,, it is different and precise to each individual. Getting told you are diabetic,,, handed a vial of insulin and a pack of syringes... is not enough! Were you hospitalised at onset? Did you go through any specific training? Or did 'they' seriously just hand you a loaded gun with no training, and say, good-luck, don't kill yourself? I am having a hard time believing this!
DW, check this out... if I was a new diabetic 1.5 lada, ladadadada, ladeedadee,,, ejectee-rejectee-dejectee ... on a bg roller-coaster... I'd be packing my bag and heading to the Tree of Life Rejuvenation Center. Maybe, you, like me,,, cannot afford the cost of this diabetes reversal program. I would bike-a-thon all over the place, write a thousand poems, sing a zillion songs - to raise money for you to have a chance to go. Because I feel - you have a chance to live insulin free! Anyway, have a look. My friend... Here is to stability, and possibility. There are ten thousand ways to cure one disease, and ten thousand cures have one disease.
Dr. Gabriel Cousen's Tree of Life Program is neatly covered in the documentary film Raw For 30 days.
You can watch a trailer on Youtube, too.
I have read tons of material on diabetes self management and if I had to recommend one source, it would be Dr. Richard Bernstein, who is himself a lifelong type 1 diabetic and whose longevity speaks for the effectiveness of his methods.
Giving up grains was a milestone in my own control effectiveness. Not complete and total obsessive elimination, just a drastic cutback.
This is perhaps the first time I've seen Cousens and Bernstein recommended together in the same post. I consider these two oil and water. I've posted before on my opinions of Cousen's, I'm afraid I don't have anything positive to say about him. I have followed Dr. B's teachings with great success over the years. There are a number of sites on his book, the best is http://www.diabetes-book.com/ which also has a discussion forum. He also has a monthly teleconference where he answers questions, but do read the book (thoroughly) before asking any questions.