New Year's Resolutions

I don't want to offend anyone... (I think I should start every blog, from now on, with that disclaimer. lol) but I just don't like new year's resolutions. It's not that I think people are incapable of changing, nor that I don't think they have all the greatest of intentions... It's just that people, perhaps, make the mistake of setting themselves up for failure: pressuring themselves too much with a pristine time line, and with 'perfection'. Not only that, usually, people announce their resolutions to the world, and then they have an audience ready to pounce on them as "police" in case they fail. Disappointed, if they fall off the wagon, they throw their hands up in the air because they just "tossed the whole year out the window," and give up. These kinds of new year's resolutions make me sad because people forget that, basically, every single new day is a NEW year. You can make a new year be ANYTHING you want it to, on any day! Instead, I propose a new kind of "new year" resolution: Living every day with personal and neighborly awareness.

Yes, that's right! Living a life in which you are aware of YOURS and OTHER'S diabetes, and paying attention to it and your body's needs every single day... at least a LITTLE bit of that day... Will go leaps and bounds toward changing your self care, your control, your outlook on life, your understanding of others, and your positivity. If you learned that making just ONE change to your daily habits, at a time, can lead to everlasting, manageable change... then do that TODAY! :) Don't leave it until January 1st, or some other magical date... Do it now. Don't announce it with fanfare, or with pride... Who needs to know? No one! lol And no, by one little thing, I don't mean going on a crazy, strict diet or exercise regimen, or weighing yourself every day... I mean... perhaps try to have one veggie at every meal... or try to walk more... I, for example, walk to my workplace instead of taking the bus. If Winter scares you, buy some Yaktrax. Those things are worth it! lol

So, if making drastic, unrealistic, life changes on January 1st is not a viable solution... then what's left? Perhaps applying lessons you learned from 2010! What little thing could you change now, that you really had to learn the hard way in 2010? As for me... I know that...

  • I will probably spend most of 2011 seeking to learn more from positive people/influences who have lived for decades and decades with Diabetes... Type 2, and Type 1. I think, after all, this is why we seek this forum... And while we may commiserate and relate to others in our desperate times, this commiserating can sometimes get out of hand and lose perspective, pitting people against each other, or even making newly diagnosed folks feel as though there is no hope for them. I feel like many of these discussions are far from constructive or beneficial, so I won't be engaging in them anymore, save if there are new people involved and they need some polite educating. Other than that, I refuse to engage in the same ol' song and dance, pity party, with people who ought to know better, or have more respect for their fellow man.
  • I will probably accept failure as a part of life, and choose to accommodate it as a necessary tool for my Diabetes management. We are ALL going to fail at one point or another. It is not a matter of if, but of when. Falling off the wagon, miscalculating carbs in a meal, feeling guilty for bad numbers during stressful situations or illness... When we accept that we have failed, and are going to fail at one point or another because we are human, we can move on to learn from the said failure, and we can forgive ourselves. The failures may even become less and less, and that's okay... Life without failure is a life without lessons.
  • I will not compare myself to other people's progress. I am my own master, and my own challenge.
  • I will not weigh myself every day. Who the hell cares. As long as my numbers are in good control, my body can lose weight at the rate it wants to! It sure put on the weight at the rate it felt like, and that wasn't overnight... so why put unnecessary pressure on myself? Maybe I should weigh myself once a year, on New Year's day. lol
  • I will not pledge to be perfect. In fact, every year, this is my strongest new year's resolution yet. I PLEDGE I WILL NOT BE PERFECT. I AM AN IMPERFECT DIABETIC, I WILL SOMETIMES LOSE CONTROL, I WILL SOMETIMES FALL OFF THE WAGON, I WILL SOMETIMES ACHE TOO MUCH TO EXERCISE, I WILL SOMETIMES GAIN A POUND OR TWO... BUT I WILL NEVER, EVER, EVER... HOLD A GRUDGE AGAINST MYSELF.

If you want to have ANY resolutions this year... make that one resolution the one that matters... I WILL FAIL, I WILL LEARN, I WILL FORGIVE MYSELF, I WILL GET UP AGAIN AND MOVE ON, AND I WILL NEVER, EVER... HOLD A GRUDGE AGAINST MYSELF. Resolve to make every day be a new year's resolution day, and seek to implement new things in your life, ALWAYS. You'll thank me later for it. :P

well said! happy new years

Wise words, Lizmari.

My addition to that: I will never hold a grudge against anyone else, either. People can be uneducated, insensitive, etc. but I don't think they really mean to be so, and if the other person wants to make up, why should I refuse?

Glad to be your friend,

Natalie ._c-

Good resolutions, Lizmari! And, I would add to this: try to live life without letting diabetes be the center of it. Yes it affects us a lot, but it’s just a part of who we are, it is NOT who we are. … If that makes any sense …

Well as of 10 January our favorite gym will be opened 24 hours. Not sure of the implications of this. Once I made a resolution to do a well planned diet and lost 10 lb but then all hell broke loose and I regained 20.

Too put it very bluntly ...I have never believed in " New Years Resolutions " as we know it ....far too much baggage to carry around by failing .

I like my life to be simple .

Well spoken, Liz… I think you are already well on your way to those goals

My resolution every year is not to make resolutions. Yours are commendable!

Health, peace & fulfillment to all for 2011.

No resolutions for me....lol. Just keep on doing my thing, maybe just try a little harder.

Exactly, Robyn! Well put. lol

Failure & picking yourself up and moving forward again =s success

I've learned over the years that when you do something w/o failing along the way it ususally backfires on you.

As for your post I don't find it offensive.

I think in terms of goals instead of resolutions.

If you don't have some type of plan then you plan to fail

brn

I agree with you that New Year’s Resolutions aren’t the best way of going about making positive change. People really do put pressure on themselves to do something, and when they slip, they give it all up. I think many people need to come to the same realization you have - we’re all human, we WILL make mistakes, and we can learn from them!

Great post Liz! I agree. I am not going to even think about making any "goals’ for 2011 - I did last year and 2010 was a diaster. I think I jinx myself when I make New Year Resolutions or wishes - so maybe if I don’t make I will get what a want. Not being perfect is something I have always had a hard time dealing with so nothing new there. But yeah, I kinda have that “who the hell cares” attitude now - I am trying hard to just do what I need to do for myself, not be so self-sacrificing and let the universe ‘steer’ more for me than trying to control everything. Which, having being DX in Feb, I realized, finally, that I really can’t. That was my biggie lesson for 2010.

applause

I am another one that doesn’t make New Years resolutions. I try to change what I can, when I can and not worry about it. Great post DWQ!

thanks for this....

just my 2cents. I think it is important to have a support person or team to help out when failure does happen.

I make goals yes.. as resolutions are in my opinion also, setting myself up for disaster. I lived in Brazil for almost a year and mentioned New Years resolutions and the Brazilians had never heard of them. It made me think about it, and that if you set your mind to it you can achieve ANYTHING!

I think one of the reasons people make resolutions is that if they have had a bad year they tend to think they can 'make up for it' in the new year and forget the bad stuff. I think that isn't the way it works and that technically we have to accept stuff both good and bad that has happened in our lives and probably will continue to happen.

I believe life is a journey not a destination. It's a journey which we take and we choose the paths we must go on and hope that it leads the way to a better life in the future.

I don't know about you but the following helps me determine how to live my life. It's called a personal bill of rights. Some of you may or may not have heard of them but here goes! Happy New Year! :-)

Personal Bill of Rights

1. I have the right to ask for what I want

2. I have the right to. say no to requests or demands I can't meet.

3. I have the right to express all of my feelings, positive or negative.

4. I have the right to change my mind.

5. I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.

6. I have the right to follow my own values and standards.

7. I have the right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe or it violates my values.

8. I have the right to determine my own priorities.

9. I have the right not to be responsible for others' behavior, actions, feelings or problems

10. I have the right to expect honesty from others.

11. I have the right to be angry at someone I love.

12. I have the right to be uniquely myself.

13. I have the right to feel scared and say 'I'm afraid."

14. I have the right to say 'I don't know.

15. I have the right not to give excuses or reasons for my behavior.

16. I have the right to make decisions based on my feelings.

17. I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time.

18. I have the right to be playful and frivolous.

19. I have the right to be healthier than those around me.

20. I have the right to be in a nonabusive environment.

21. I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people.

22. I have the right to change and grow.

23. I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others

24. I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect

25. I have the right to be happy.

Lizmari, I am with you, I hate resolutions and being asked what I decided to do this year. So about three years ago, I gave them up. I decided that it's no one's business and I just ask "why would you ask me something so personal?"

What I do however, is to examine what I have done with this year, and what I would really like to change in the next year. For example, I have to be honest, I didn't give my diabetes the true attention it deserved. So after I got my last A!C, I decided that it's back to the starting point again for me. Exercise, eating, meds, and learning all that I can. This isn't going to be hard for me to accomplish, but it's a start. Another thing I want to do is to find a more positive group of people to hand around with, ones that are trying to improve their lives and those of others. These kinds of things are good for me, and good for others. Is it a resolution, nope, its a promise to be a better person for me, and for my family and friends. I think you are doing a lot of the same things in what I read, and I say GOOD FOR YOU!