It has been a long time since I have logged on, kinda got into a rut over that few months. Our 7 year old daughter was diagnosed two years ago this month. I made a video that expresses how I feel about life now, it is a little dark, a little long, and probably not for children to view.
If you get a chance it is posted in the videos section here and on youtube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dvAJVd2Hnk
Let me know if it is over the top or if anyone thinks this way sometimes…
I had seen this video under the forums of CWD. Wanted to comment there but still can’t comment on the boards though I often chat. I feel this video has been a catharsis for you and many other parents who have been discouraged from giving full expression to their deepest fears and feelings. Everything you have expressed on your video, I have felt. There is a dark side to this “condition” that lurks somewhere in the future. The less control over her numbers, the more I feel thoughts as expressed in this video. Because even with good A1cs, if she is in the high 200s for 6 hours of the day because of either high postprandials or highs in general, I cannot guarantee that she will be free from complications in the future. How many parents of children with Type 1 diabetes can keep numbers under 140 all day? So the fears are real. We are encouraged to look on the bright side and paint a rosy picture, no matter how we feel on the inside. “Experts” give us false information, negating what we KNOW to be true, that high blood sugars at any time causes damage. Telling us that A1cs 7 and above are fine and dandy. Giving expression to negative feelings in front of other parents with Type 1 children often cause denial, pep talks, and more misinformation. Do I feel this is over the top? No. I do disagree with the part about the “monster” always being present, at birth, etc. Not sure if that is true. A genetic predisposition which needs an external stressor or multiple stressors to develop into Type 1. P.S. Although I feel this way sometimes, you have to let these feelings go most of the time, or you will be too dragged down emotionally to function well or help your child. So displacing these feelings into a creative outlet such as a video is a good thing.
Jan,
You absolutley get it it. I agree with your post 100%, thanks for the feedback! I really hope this monster wasn’t there from day 1, but maybe someday we will know for sure. For now, this video represents only what I keep down deep inside and you are right, sometimes you need to let it out or it might just consume you…
thx
Medfa
My daughter is also 7, about 4 months older than your daughter. She was diagnosed right after she turned 4. I have watched alot of these videos on youtube and I think they are all important because it shows your interpretation of how it feels to you. It is a chance for those who don’t have to deal with this everyday to get a taste of how it feels. I am going to make one of my own. I sometimes have thought about how and when she started getting it. It lets people see that at any given day the same thing could happen to them.