This is heartbreaking to me. My g-mother (who is 86 now) dosen’t want me to spend the night or go with me anywhere alone b/c of my “spells” (lows) Bless her heart to quote her exactly…"I’m scared you will have one of those “spells” when we’re alone and I wouldn’t know what to do. I’ve told her that if I fall out to call 911 they would know what to do .
True so true tim. It was 37 (almost 38 years ago for me and things have REALLY changed for the good.
That’s ridiculous. I’ve never not been invite somewhere due to diabetes. Folks/friends of mine just figure I’ll manage my own needs and leave it up to me to do so if I attend an event or take a trip. I spent my birthday in Vegas this year in February and had a BLAST! I walked TONS so actually was able to indulge/eat more and still keep my bloodsugars balanced. I hope you get there for a visit at some point. Cheers, Megan
I’m already a social pariah (no, I’m not kidding) because I’m very fat. I’m sure people who used to be “friends” exclude me from their lives now because they are: embarrassed to be seen with me, don’t know what to feed me, don’t want to watch me eat anything – not even a bowl full of lettuce at meal times, think I’ve “let myself go” and should be shunned for it, think I’m “disgusting”, can’t help but dive into condescending lectures and don’t like my less than enthusiastic response to their “helpful” suggestions, know that I can’t keep up with their more active hobbies, etc. etc. etc.
Being cut off from friendship due to diabetes would be (in some sick, backwards way) almost a relief.
My social circle has dwindled to almost nothing and you know what? To heck with faux friends. The people who are my TRUE friends see the me inside the fat and love me for me, not for the shape of my skin or how easy/hard it is to for me to hike with them in the mountains or jog with them around Greenlake. I’d much rather have three close friends than be surrounded by heaps of people who “love” me conditionally, if at all.
At first it hurt, but now (most of the time) I see my adversity as an inadvertent way for me to learn what true compassion is all about.
My 9 yr old was diagnosed 18 months ago and hasn’t had any backlash from it.She still gets asked to birthday parties and sleep overs. If anything I was the one who would hold her back a little. I just make sure that the adults in the situation get a quick tutorial and I am always just a phone call away. My daughter is also very good at carb counting and since she has been put on a pump it has become much easier.
0, but I’m a T1 and do not really worry about my diet when I go out to eat with friends. I eat pretty healthy/low carb/clean when I’m on my own, but an occasional meal out with friends is as good a time as any to relax on dietary control, IMO. And if I do decide to choose a “healthier” or “low carb” option, I sure as hell don’t make a production about it.
That has NEVER happened to me (That I know of). Pretty much everyone around me understands that I am able to take care of myself (with exception to my mommy…she’ll always worry about me).
I don’t want to bash your “friend” but seriously nobody that really understands me and my D would ever exclude me because of misfuctioning pancreas.
Well, no one’s ever blatantly told me I wasn’t invited somewhere because of the 'betes…no one’s ever even hinted at it…so I guess it hasn’t happened to me, that I’m aware of…
I get invited places especially because I live with diabetes. My friends figure it’s a good way to get an earlier table at a crowded restaurant (hey, she has diabetes and she’s having a low and you need to seat us NOW!) OK, so we haven’t ever actually used this excuse, but we laugh about it.
If you’re feeling alone or ostracized because of diabetes, then please check out the You Can Do This video project. You may recognize some faces from tudiabetes!
Wow, that is so bizarre to me. If anything I have the opposite “problem” (which isn’t a problem). My friends are so nicely conscientious of my diabetes that they will bug me about it when they are concerned, sometimes more than I strictly want them to. But mostly it feels good that they care.
We go to Vegas, and I will get gentle questions of “did you shoot enough?” “are you low?” “can i get you some OJ?” “should you eat that?” “hey waiter, he needs his OJ NOW” etc… I think part of this is because I am very open with my friends about it, and have taught them a lot about it. (before my pump, they were used to me pulling out my needle and shooting in front of them) They are all reasonably educated about it, even if they can’t remember the “direction” properly “do you need to eat something when you’re high, or low?”. And they’ll look out after me - making sure I don’t forget my pack, or help me look for it when i misplace it.
I also am admittedly not very strict on these trips at all, and I also try very hard not to “educate” them about poor eating habits, carb counts, or be a downer, etc… As well as be very flexible if they want to eat/do something i can’t/don’t want to. Like I will just go along, but not eat, or be willing to do something else, Also, one of my friends has celiacs disease, so he has stricter requirements, in some ways, than I do. But again, on these trips I tend to not restrict myself, and just do my best to control the highs. CGM and the pump help a lot. I can check my BG quickly at the card tables without a big production, and bolus discreetly if i need to.
I’m glad to hear that things have gotten better! I’ve had diabetes for 20 years now, but was an adult when I was diagnosed, so never had to go through the childhood and adolescent crap.
And all my friends have been too blessedly “dumb” to EVER give me any flack about anything. A couple of them actually carry around hard candy for me, and none of them has ever questioned what I eat or don’t eat, and the only questions out of them are things like “Are you OK?” or “Do you need anything?” or “Do you need to sit down for a moment?”
And it was my dumb friends who came looking for me after I didn’t show up for the picnic and got me to the ER in time to save my life. Belgienne and LC just remind me how lucky we are when we have good friends, and that there are too many wonderful people out there to waste our time with the ones who don’t WANT to get it, even if they are family!
I’ve never not been included in an invite for anything in the past 52 years of the “D”. I must have better friends, or then again, maybe they kept better secrets and I didn’t know I wasn’t invited…hmm.
And I have also been to Las Vegas twice in the past 6 years (from Virginia, USA) and totally enjoyed it. I am not even a gambler. I spent one day just walking around and through all of the hotels, what a trip. And don’t worry there is food everywhere.
You should go when they get back and not invite them - hahaha.
was just talking to my daughter ( after I wrote my comment) and she says she has been uninvited to a birthday party because of her D. It was a new friend and the friend has since changed thinking after getting a little info. I think some people are scared by it.
I’ve had people dance around me worried about making sure I get food at a certain time because they worry (which is not necessary because I am capable of taking care of myself) and those who of course tell me I can’t eat something or another (because they think we can’t eat anything with sugar) but both these scenarios I chose to see as caring.
Mostly I find that once people get to know me they forget that I am diabetic which is what I would prefer.
I did have a boss ask me several times (after I had explained what T1 was more than once) if my diabetes would go away if I lost weight. That I found unacceptable because it is a question that shouldn’t be asked of anyone T1 or T2.
As far as friends, the only thing I notice is some who I find if it comes up try to steer away from the conversation as soon as possible.
As a kid mostly it was the looks of pity on parents faces because they didn’t think us T1’s lived long enough to grow-up. So, 40 years later…
dxclancy: My friends are like that too, and I do not ever feel I was bannedfrom social events due to my having diabetes; and I have been diabetic for 43 years…
I have been VERY upfront about it ;and most of my close friends know how to help me out during a low and will ask me if it is time for me to eat… I feel very cared about and blessed to have such a loving, caring group around me…
I have travelled( alone) to Europe as a foreign exchange student when I was 19, been to Atlantic City and gambled all night with a group of comrades when I was in my 20’s, and have done all sorts of hiking and bicycle trips. I will get back to that this summer; and I do not expect that ANYONE will be a NAYSAYER to my participation.
only been diagnosed with D for 6 weeks, and already numerous times… mostly stupid ones—like a birthday dinner because I cant “eat what normal people eat”…hmmmm it sucked. at least everyone else knows the truth!
It’s never actually happend where I was left out from something but I always get the questions “Can you eat that? Can you do that?” And ya, some people are going to worry. Maybe they just need to be educated that they don’t need to worry, just be aware. Like earthquakes, tornados or zombies. You don’t need to worry about them, just what to do if they happen. I tell my friends not to fear the “betes”.
Wow! This has never happened to me, but I’m wondering if it has something to do with age of diagnosis? I was diagnosed when I just turned 13 - it had zero effect on my social life, but I’m thinking that since I was relatively young it was an easier adjustment, to the point where you don’t really even think of it as a “special” circumstance that makes you different. I’m super tight on my control and always have been, but I also never use diabetes as a reason that I can’t do/eat something. If I don’t want to eat something - I just don’t want to eat it, not “I’m a diabetic - I can’t eat that”. I never, ever hide that I’m a Type I and am very open about it if anyone asks but I never, ever, ever bring it up as a reason for any limitation…mainly because it’s part of the mental computer and it’s just part of life for me and I don’t feel it is a limitation at all. Except if I wanted to join the Marines…then it’s definately limiting Anyhoo, just thinking that maybe if you’re diagnosed at an older age it might be a harder and more public adjustment??
I think people respond to your energy. If you accept it and are not defined by it then I think people will not even notice you are a diabetic! My boss of 6 YEARS just recently figured it out because I wandered into his office holding a tissue over an injection site (applying some pressure after a Symlin shot) and he asked if I was all right - told him of course, I just took a shot. He responded with “I had no idea you were a diabetic” this after I leave needles, test strips, blood sugar meters, sugar tablets all over my desk at one time or another. lol! I know it’s not easy, but sometimes people are just responding to your energy, your perception of yourself and your uneasiness with diabetes…and it’s totally not intentional on either side.
Also…go to Vegas with some other friends, take lots of pictures and then tell this friend all about what a good time you had (without mentioning diabtetes) and she’ll probably forget that you even have it! Just my two cents
You make some excellent points. I was younger at diagnosis, age 6 but it was in the 60’s when then didn’t think we would live that long. I never made a big deal out of it so I don’t think others do much either. The only real comment I get is that it must be annoying to test your blood all of the time (because I test every couple of hours) and people see me doing it all of the time. I just tell them it’s all about what you get use to, it isn’t that big a deal. Plus they know when I go low because I’ll say “it’s big giant candy time” (glucose tabs) which they know I like
Jean, it seems to me that you’ve gaining a true understanding of what it means to love others as yourself. I wish the road to that meaning hadn’t been such a hard one, but know that you’re one of only a few who truly comprehend and live compassion.