I am currently working on recovery from a bout of Diabulimia. I had been on/off with the disordered lifestyle for about 4 years but recently completely recovered for about a year. Unfortunately, a horrible tragedy happened in my immediate family that left me to resort to my old ways and I was once again omitting insulin for about 3-4 months. I have been recovered for over 2 months now but I am having difficulty with weight gain and bloat.
I am vegetarian but I do sometimes eat higher carb items. However, I have noticed the weight gain that was very sudden and makes me really uncomfortable and therefore have been sticking to 1200-1400 calories a day. Unfortunately, even with eating this amount and exercising regularly, I continue to gain weight. I am uncomfortable as I am starting a new year of school and unable to fit into any of my regular clothes.
I am hoping someone who has recovered from diabulimia can give me some insight to how long this weight gain lasts? When does the metabolism begin working regularly? Also, if anyone has any advice to stopping the weight gain/bloat or ways I can combat it? I would love to continue onto my path of full recovery, but definitely find it hard when I am left feeling so uncomfortable all the time and definitely not the healthy feeling I was hoping having stable, good blood glucose would give me.
I do hope some of our members also post their experiences. If you search for the word you will find story after story of others who have come here and told there story of suffering from eating disorders and diabulimia. Although personally I have not been touched by diabulimia I have seen first hand how difficult and dangerous it is. What I would suggest is that you read some of the stories about diabulimia that have been written here and you could certainly message members. Even better you could contact Asha Brown of WeAreDiabetes (WAD) an organization devoted to supporting people with diabetes suffering from eating disorders. I hope that is helpful.
i don’t have experience with what you are going through, but i just want you to know that i am pulling for you, and that anything you learn from this difficult time will not only help you but others if you choose to share it.
I struggled with diabulimia for over a decade, and finally found solid recovery over six years ago. I Launched We Are Diabetes once I had two years of solid recovery under my belt, and have been supporting and mentoring individuals just like yourself ever since. I’d love to connect with you.
The questions you ask in your post dont have a definitive answer, unfortunately, because every person’s body is a little different in regards to how their body deals with insulin being re-introduced in to their system. I absolutely know how hard it is, physically AND emotionally to feel like you’re a prisoner in your own body, and to feel uncomfortable with a current body size. You have to trust that your body WILL balance out, and that the weight gain WILL stop eventually.
I do have some concerns about eating only 1200-1400 calories a day. That’s doing more damage than good to your metabolism, which has already been on a roller-coaster ride during your eating disorder years. However if its too triggering to consider allowing your body to have more calories than that per day, I understand. Long term though, it’s not going to be a good idea. Your metabolism needs time to get it’s “fires burning” again, and if it’s not being given enough fuel, it cant do that.
I only speak from my personal experience, and the observations from helping 100s of individuals from recovery from this horrible eating disorder, and I’m not at all telling you what to do at this point. Right now the main goal every day just needs to be to take your insulin and move forward. The more time you get between your eating disorder behaviors, the better perspective you are going to have about how to safely and properly get your body to a place that is realistic for your size and natural shape.
If you’d like to continue this conversation, or consider working with me as a client (WADs services are always free to ALL T1Ds struggling with eating disorders) please take some time to check out our “about us” section of the WAD website; my contact information, as well as an assessment survey can be found there
Hang in there sweetheart, you’re doing a lot of brave and difficult work and I’m very proud of you!
Thanks for taking the time to reply. I really appreciate it.
I am happy to say that I continue to be on a healthy path and I do want to increase my calorie intake gradually but was planning to do so once I saw my weight balance out a bit (I am not using a scale as I find it triggering, but just observing how my clothes fit and such).
I definitely understand that I am under eating and I can identify this as a problem but you definitely hit the nail right on the head when you said that eating more would be troublesome for me at this time.
I continue to exercise regularly and try to focus on feeling stronger and building endurance rather than having my clothes fit normally at this point (because I don’t think that will happen for a while)…
It is definitely hard to aim for something when the time line is unknown, but I understand every body is different. I just hope I don’t have to feel this uncomfortabiy for much longer.
Again thanks for reaching out and I will definitely look into the possibility of connecting with you at WAD. You should be very proud of the work you do, as this is a very difficult thing to overcome.
Thanks,
This is the most difficult part of the recovery process, and I promise you that it WILL get easier! I’m glad to hear you’re getting regular movement in, that will help a lot, emotionally and physically
Do you have a good diabetes care team to support you with this? It makes such a difference to have an understanding and encouraging endo and/or CDE to work with you through all of this, and a knowledgeable RD (harder to find, they all “think” they understand T1D, but many of them have outdated information) can really help in the nutrition area.
Also scales are dumb, so I’m glad you’re not relying on one right now. They don’t give you the whole picture, and so many factors can cause weight fluctuations that have nothing to do with your actual body size and shape. I have not owned a scale since my recovery began in 2009, and I never will again!
