Hi all; hope everyone is doing good tonight! I'm very new here, just joined yesterday but really like it so far! This is my first post and it concerns a thought that I'm having a hard time putting to rest. I was diagnosed last month as T2 and its been a roller coaster of emotions since then. The insidious thought that sticks to my mind is that why didn't I do more to prevent this from happening. I was prediabetic for several years and always said I was going to get healthy but alas it never came to be. I know I had all the triggering factors--weight, sedentary lifestyle--but I truly feel that the main factor was genetic. Mom, both Grandparents, Uncle on Dad's side all had it as do others in extended family. Honestly, if I could just know this was the reason, it would make things a little easier to handle but that's impossible. Any advice/info anybody would care to give in dealing with this dilemma would be most appreciated; thanks!

Hi Brian. Welcome to the forum! I'm sorry that you've been diagnosed with T2, but I'm glad you found this place. Folks are very helpful, sympathetic and creative here.

You did NOT cause your diabetes! That there's so much of it in your family is a very good indicator of genetic factors. The media are full of stories about how we can prevent diabetes, how we've caused it to happen to us, and so on. That's not true. You might read this article by Jenny Rhul about the myth that we cause this disease. While you're there, please read the Blood Sugar 101 website, too. Jenny writes very fine articles about all aspects of diabetes, diet, food and medications. She's very helpful!

Keep your spirits up. It gets easier!

Brian, now is the time. You can start those plans to get healthy NOW. It might even be easier now because you'll know what your blood sugars are and will have some measurable results. If T2D means the end of your previous lifestyle, is that really a bad thing? We are so fortunate to have a disease that often responds to our efforts to improve. When you stop feeling like a victim of circumstances or poor previous choices and start taking control of your life NOW, you'll feel a lot better. You can do it!

Thanks Ann, I will check it out!

Thanks Cosumne for that positive advice, hopefully it will sink in totally very soon!

Please, please don't beat yourself up unnecessarily. You didn't cause T2. Blaming yourself is futile & depletes energy that could be used positively. Seen too many become immobilized by self-blame & self-inflicted shame. It's genetic. Now, don't you feel better:)

Look forward, not backwards. Do what you can do now. Agree with Ann. is great & a wonderful place to start.

Thanks Gerri for the words of wisdom and I do feel better!

Good! Now, just one foot in front of the other. Better days are ahead.

Agree with Ann. YOU DID NOT CAUSE UR DIABETES!!! U had a vast family history of it.

I agree with everyone that has posted. PLEASE dont blame yourself. Start now and you can do this and we will be here to help.

Thanks Robyn and the rest of you; I do feel better! This is exactly why I joined the site and am looking forward to being a active member.

We do not know what causes diabetes so it is difficult to say what would have prevented it. Possibly a low carb diet would give us a few more years but who knows for sure.

Hey Brian. One very improtant thing that I forgot to mention when I welcomed you yesterday. If you start feeling over whelmed and down like you are now, come in here and write a big ole rant about things. Get it all off your chest. Each and every one of us has written those posts. That to me is the greatest thing about this community. The ability to write it all out and find there are people who are/have gone through what you are going through with your D.

You may have been alone in this before you ain't alone no more. You have a whole community here standing at the ready with the advice or the encouraging word just in the time you need it. AS Consume said and always remember...YOU CAN DO IT!

I agree with everybody else. T2, like T1, is genetic in it's cause. If the genes are there, they are there. Re lifestyle stuff, it's better to regret something you have done than something you haven't?

The article Ann linked to is amazing. I've felt a lot of guilt over the years as to what I did to cause this. I know I have bad genes but lets face it, 34 is not when most people are diagnosed with T2. When I was diagnosed I got really depressed because I thought I had caused it to come on so early. I was in a normal weight range and above average in activity. My diet was pretty good too.

It took me a little time to quit beating myself up and accept that this is the hand I was dealt and I needed to handle it. I am now 13 years after diagnosis and I still have my moments. You need to realize that you are not to blame and no matter what you had done T2 would have appeared in your life. I think of it along the lines of other health conditions. You would never tell someone with a peanut allergy that they had done something wrong and that's why they'll die if they eat peanuts. It's just some anomaly in their body that causes this to happen.

The idea that T2 is a fat people disease is wrong. I wish the media and even the medical community would stop perpetuating this myth. I really wonder how many people don't get diagnosed because they are within normal weight range.

I just found this forum too. It is the most supportive place I have found since many other forums seem to really push the "keep lowering the carbs until your BS is normal" which doesn't always work. Sometimes it takes meds to do it and you shouldn't be made to feel like a failure if that is what your body needs.

Thanks Whirlygig for the positive feedback; every post goes a long way to feeling more comfortable during this stressful time.

Thanks again for the sound advice brokenpole; I'm sure this will be one of my many posts to come on my journey to acceptance and dealing!

Regret can be toxic, Brian45. It can keep you wallowing in bad habits. It can keep you stuck. It can keep you circling the drain instead of climbing up and out and doing what you have to do NOW to take care of yourself. It's OK to indulge in a bit of regret, but pretty soon you need to chop it up for kindling and use it to light a fire under yourself to do what needs doing. There's no guarantee that you wouldn't have gotten full-blown diabetes no matter what you did then. However, I can guarantee that if you don't start taking excellent care of yourself NOW, you will regret it in the future.

Learn how to keep your blood glucose as normal and possible NOW and DO it. We're all in the same boat. We'll help. We'll support you. We can't change the past, but we can do our best today for a better tomorrow.

The reason you feel the way you do is the constant media drumbeat about diabetics causing their disease, in Jenny Ruhl's words it is indeed a "Toxic Myth"

You did not cause your diabetes, but you are in charge of dealing with it now that you have it. The good news is that you can get your blood sugar under control using changes in diet, exercise and with the addition of medication if needed.

On another page of the bloodsugar101 website Jenny explains the "eat to your meter system". This was the single most important thing I read after diagnosis. The improvement in my blood sugar was dramatic and happened very quickly.

Read every page of the bloodsugar101 website, use it to set your targets and devise a meal and exercise plan. Books I found useful were "The First Year: Type 2 Diabetes: An Essential Guide for the Newly Diagnosed" by Gretchen Becker and "The Diabetes Solution" by Dr. Richard Bernstein.

Dealing with diabetes is a marathon not a sprint. To help with motivation I find frequent testing a real help, as it gives instant feedback concerning the effect of your food choices. The other big help I have found is active participation in tuD.

Welcome aboard.

I would not beat yourself too hard.

As old goat of 64+ and 30 years as type 2, my take is much more succint.

Our day and age today; we have a 24/7 supply of high quality refined foods, carbs, grains, sugars and massive labour saving tools.

On top of that we all have body organized to prevent starvation not worry/cope with over supply of energy. My family, parents - what worry about energy consumption balance and limitation - not a chance. When I was detected 30 years ago - very lttle data or thinking to get on correct path. WHo knew.

Your fault - no dam way.

All you can do is march forward from today, learn all you can about the problem, get a good doctor/diabetes team, good carbs control/diet and hearty exercise to better manage the "problem".

As one who ended up with stroke, body in a mess and in last 4 years getting mess under control and rolling again, there is much one can do to turn mess around even when hour is late. Blame is not one of them nor usefull.