Is there somewhere I can go that is like rehab for out of control diabetics?
The horrible progression of my eyes paired with the unsolvable insurance issues has made me really doubt my ability to go on. This is quite literal.
I am having really unhealthy thoughts about my life, my death my apparent lack of a future…
I don’t know where to turn.
I just want to go away and start over.
If there isn’t, there ought to be. I have no clue but I hope someone more knowledgeable can help you out.
Please call someone. Do you work? If so there should be an EAP (employee assistance program) that you can call–they can refer you to assistance. If you are really intent–call a hotline to talk with someone. Please.
You are not alone. I just had a complete breakdown tonight over D, and we all do.
I had really bad retinopathy–my doc says my eyes look like a bomb site–he lasered everything he could.20 years ago. I perservered and survived-and see quite well. The eyes can be fixed.
When I was first diagnosed, the doctor (a pediatrician) told me flat out that I would not live to be 50. I will celebrate (?) 50 years as a D and closer to 60 yearsnof age in December. You have to keep the faith. You have to keep trying. People depend on you. People need you. You are important.
I had some really good assistance from a local pyschologist. She deals with chronic illness and has D. Just talking to her worked me out of a bad place. Once you feel more positive–search out something like this–it can really help.
And, I agree with Acid Rock–there should be somewhere safe and helpful… D is stresssful and we all get overwhelmed.
Keep in touch and let everyone know you are well.
I do not know if there is rehab for diabetes per se but I would think you could hook into an inpatient rehab facility to get PT and OT for the progression of your eyes and how you deal with all that. The diabetes would be a secondary issue in this case but I would hope they could help you find a way to control your diabetes.
I wish there was some way to wave the wand and make it all better for you but this is something you CAN overcome. Take it piece by piece starting with whatever you determine to be the most pressing issue. I hope there is some way we can help.
About 2 years ago, there was a T1 guy on that show Intervention (I think that was the name). He did go somewhere for help after his family convinced him. I don’t know if it was specifically for diabetics though.
I would suggest calling your local hospital. They usually have a crisis hot line that you can call. Tell them you need help now.
Know that we call care about you! You might feel alone right now, but we are all with you.
Hey: I just read your post and I can so relate to what you are going through and it hurts just to think about it. I have been right there. My circumstances were a bit different, but desperate just the same. I have been Type 1 since I was 9 years old and the at around 19 I developed anorexia and bulimia. All blood sugar control went out the window and I had to fight with everyone to get the help I needed. Doctors, insurance, family-all the while I wasn’t even sure it was worth the battle-not knowing the extent of damage already done.
Well, I am 45 now…It wasn’t easy and much of it wasn’t fun-but it was so worth it. The body is amazing at what it can bounce back from and with normalized bg’s complications can reverse. Is there a psychologist or mental health clinic you can contact? That might be the place to start. How about a diabetes support group at a hospital? They may be able to point you in the direction of some help-Do Not give up-Sometimes we have to fight for ourselves to get what we need-you are worth it and things can change. I would have sworn I was beyond hope-but I was so wrong-you can have a long, healthy, and happy life. I am proof. Contact me if there is anything I can do-I live in Bristol too-only in Virginia. Maybe we can brainstorm together and come up with some answers. Hang in there-there are a lot of people who care.
I have seen you post here for some time. Often, I can see in your words that you are depressed. I don’t know if you feel this way all the time, maybe you only come here when you are feeling down. But depression is really a terrible thing. Life may totally suck, you may have only one leg, be broke and no job, but if you are feeling happy and optimistic it doesn’t matter. On the other hand, your actual life may be perfect, but if you are depressed you can feel sad and hopeless about everything.
Whatever you do, I hope that you can focus on working through being depressed. I think many of us have felt depressed and can perhaps appreciate some of the feelings. If you do want to see about counseling, it can be very hard to find someone who specializes in diabetes, but there are many that help with “chronic illness.” Sometimes, working with a group can also be helpful.
Also, you might consider a life coach, someone who understands diabetes and can help you navigate through all this stuff. This is not about some diabetes educator. This is about someone who can help you with your feelings about these matters and the seemingly simple things in your life which cause you such distress. I know our fell member Ginger does this sort of thing and she can work remotely with you over the internet and phone. You could also search for diabetes life coaches.
Life can deal you a terrible deck of cards, but that doesn’t mean it has to take away your happiness and everything you can become. I hope you are able to find help. And remember, this community is always here to help.
I agree with Bsc that depression might be an issue for you. Depression is a very real medical illness, it’s not just “feeling down” and it’s not something you can just “cheer up” from. Clinical Depression is twice as common for people with diabetes. Only a mental health professional can diagnose you with Depression, and if you are diagnosed, then a combination of medication and therapy can help enormously. I agree a therapist experienced with diabetes or at least with chronic illness would be ideal. But if that is not available, find the therapist who is right for you and they will be able to help. I’m sorry you are feeling this badly. I also want to echo what others have said that if you are feeling suicidal please talk to someone right away. There are suicide prevention hotlines you can call where people who are experienced and trained as well as caring people, can help you. We don’t want to lose you.
Sagwabetes I know diabetes can be tough to deal with! I definitely know all of us on this site have our ups and downs. But there are SO many things in life that make it worth living!
Like the others who have replied here, I think you should definitely look into talking with a psychologist who deals with chronic illness or someone similar. In the meantime I urge you to check out this site: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
And know that we are all here for you! Diabetes can definitely make you feel alone, but know that each and every one of us is right there in the trenches next to you! So keep it up!
Please update soon and let us know you’re doing alright!
You people are so incredibly wonderful.
I’m glad you are reaching out for help Sagwabetes.
Sagwabetes, this disease sucks. I agree. But you are part of a very large family here who understands what you are going through. We have all been there at one point or another. Hang in there, because while D may totally, completely suck sometimes (ok, most of the time), it sucks a little less when we’re all together 
Please contact someone via http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/. NOW.
Also, your profile says you’re in CT. Here are some 24-hour emergency services in your state: http://www.ct.gov/dmhas/cwp/view.asp?a=2902&Q=378578&dmhasNav=|
Contact someone in your area. NOW.
You are NOT alone in this. I have had some eye complications recently and I know how very, very scary it is. But there are treatments and resources, even if you don’t have insurance. Mental health professionals may be able to point you in the right direction, but you have to be your own advocate.
Hi Sagwabetes. I’ve wished for some kind of rehab so many times, too. Someplace where someone else just takes care of it all and fixes the unfixable-feeling mess of it and I can stop battling and obsessing and relax. I haven’t found such a program, although that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Maybe we’re coming up with a much-needed business idea here 
You won’t always feel the way you do right now. That’s what I try to remember in really dark moments, and in those moments it’s nearly impossible to believe, but it really is true. I’m 36 and have had diabetes since I was 3, and I’ve spent plenty of time thinking I can’t possibly stand one more f**ing minute of it. But eventually that fog lifts.
This reminds me that I’ve been meaning to add one of my favorite quotes to my page: “When you’re going through hell, keep going”. You’ve got lots of people pulling for you right here, lady, and most of us have probably felt what you’re feeling at some time. Keep that in mind, and keep going.
Hi Sagwabetes, I’m just another concerned D who cares about what you’re going through. I’m not going to say much except I know where you’re head is at and it’s not good. As you can see from the posts people care about you and have given good advice. You really NEED to REPLY so we know how you’re doing because we care. Please drop us a line.
Understand everything feeling like dark abyss. Overwhelming & exhausting doesn’t begin to explain the relentlessness of diabetes & how hopeless & helpless it can make us feel.
Talking to someone truly helps. Please go to a licensed mental health professional–a therapist, psychologist, counselor. You need someone trained to guide you.
Many mental health hotlines you can call. Please let us know how you’re doing. You can scream & rant to us.
Sawabetes You’ve gotten some great advice here and I don’t think I can add anymore. Please know that we’re here for you. If you just wanna talk to someone at any time come on over to my page.
I agree with Doris, I can add no more to the advice you have been given. But I do urge you to seek help somewhere, you need someone to unburden yourself to and someone who can help you think outside the square. ((((Hugs))))) Maureen
Have you checked out the Joslin Center? I know they used to have “tune up” type programs. I know it is probably expensive, but you would get top of the line info and care about all aspects of your diabetes. I went there in the 80s and it was fabulous in getting me back on track.
Just adding to the chorus of people who have already given you such good advice. There is NO shame in an inpatient psychiatric stay – I did it myself when I felt I couldn’t guarantee that I wouldn’t commit suicide. Those people saved my life. Please let them save yours! We PWDs have to stick together, and we NEED you to stay with us! Hugs!
I really can’t say anything more than what has already been said – but for what it’s worth - depression is a very common thing from which many of us with diabetes suffer. You should be proud of yourself for having the courage to speak of the problem and seek help. In-patient treatment of depression would undoubtedly help you with your diabetes too.
I know Joslin has a program like that. I think Yale has one too, but that might just be for pediatrics.
http://www.joslin.org/news/DO_IT_diabetes_outpatient_intensive_treatment_program.html
It is hard, no doubt. You can do it.