Rumination, a mindless route to unhappiness

Mental and Emotional Wellness
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One definition of rumination that I found:

The process of continuously thinking about the same thoughts, which tend to be sad or dark, is called rumination . A habit of rumination can be dangerous to your mental health, as it can prolong or intensify depression as well as impair your ability to think and process emotions.

I realize that this bad habit is not limited to people with diabetes but I think it makes our challenge with diabetes even more difficult. I wish I was aware of this self-defeating behavior when I was much younger and traversing a particularly rough patch involving divorce and betrayal compounded with engaging in a losing legal battle to prevent my young child’s move far away from me. I lost 10 years of my life dominated by this bad way of thinking.

I am a person with strong cognitive skills and find this ability especially useful in many aspects of my life. Unfortunately, it also makes me susceptible to replaying events over and over with no off-ramp. It could be called analysis paralysis. I wish I had better emotional intelligence during that time as I seemed intent on learning things the hard way.

I did slowly learn some tactics that helped but wished I had been more focussed on treating this insidious habit with persistent antidotes. What are those antidotes?

One of the best tactics for me was communicating my perceived troubles with a caring listener, both friends and professionals. I think however, that one tactic is not enough to counteract this bad habit. A fabric of interwoven tactics works better.

I found that writing, as in a journal, an effective technique. The saying, “onto paper, off of your mind,” describes breaking this vicious circle.

I discovered that physical exercise could distract me from my problems, but again, it was not enough to neutralize my self-defeating behavior.

One thing that didn’t work was a belief that all I needed was some transforming cathartic event that would, once and for all, relieve me of this ineffective and painful thought process. In divorce situations, I think that this illogical conclusion traps many into making premature romantic relationships likely doomed to failure. I was lucky enough to avoid this particular trap.

In the last few years, I’ve adopted a meditation habit that I think would have been a potent tactic to break the rumination trap. It’s effective but not a quick fix, however.

Anyway, you get the idea. Do you observe this self-defeating behavior in yourself? What immediate tactics work for you to break this cycle and what things have you adopted in the long-run to defeat rumination?

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Hello Terry4,
I’m surprised/annoyed there was zero response to your original posting.

Let me ask A couple questions regarding the phenomenon, and see if we can distinguish a couple of different lanes if you will?

In the specific context of our diabetes, what would examples be of rumination versus something different?

The easiest that comes to mind would be LOWS, whether just the generic concept, or a particular bad low that comes back to visit.

How do you draw the box determine one from something else IYE? e.g. That’s rumination instead of….

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What works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for others. But I agree that journaling and meditation are both very effective strategies to escape the cycle of self-defeating purposeless inner monologue for many people while for others it’s Prozac or whatever variation on meds. Supporting friendships and relationships are absolutely part of the puzzle for me. And exercise is a very powerful way to find the “exit” ramp even if temporarily. Cannabis never did much for me but alcohol has always been an easy, albeit temporary circuit breaker which unfortunately isn’t reliable in its effectiveness (even temporarily) and usually just causes more misery in the longer term.
Locus of control focussing (recognizing what I can control and what I can’t), finding healthy mantras, discovering something, however minor, to be grateful for: these have helped me through my darkest hours.
But supportive friendships were the most critical and now it’s important for me to BE that support for others.

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@Stuart – What a nice comment to wake up to this morning! No need to be annoyed. One of the lessons that writing has taught me is that it does not require anyone reading it for it to work its magic. Writing, in and of itself, is the reward.

(Edited to add: When I first read this comment, I failed to notice that the number of views that my post logged was over 1,000. The lack of comments did not translate to a lack of reading.)

When others read your thoughts and find them useful, that brings unexpected satisfaction.

In 2012, I made major changes to my diabetes treatments. What followed was a revolutionary improvement in my diabetes and health markers that continues to this day.

Before 2012, I was paying attention to my diabetes, was reasonably well-informed of many diabetes treatment tactics (I lurked here for a few years before signing up and posting.), but I endlessly thought about these tactics and failed to fully pull the trigger. I ruminated about my diabetes situation and never took the bold action needed to improve my lot.

One of my biggest breakthroughs was discovering how important personal experimentation was. Ideas need to be put into action before they could ever become useful. Just thinking about things over and over again, ruminating, never blossoms into practical techniques. Thinking is required but not sufficient to improve your life. Action makes things happen and even failure can teach a lot.

Rumination, especially for periods of months to years, is marked by inaction. Action distinguishes whether something you pay attention to is useful thinking or the avoidance of rumination.

No one, of course, can change history. If a particularly embarrassing and unsafe hypoglycemic incident triggers rumination, the best thing one can do is reframe that memory.

You could start with drawing concrete lessons from what happened and then put in place behavior that would prevent that set of circumstances from happening again. The art of forgiveness also can play a crucial role, especially when it comes to forgiving yourself.

Thanks again for noticing something I wrote over year ago. I’m happy that you found it meaningful.

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@MBW – I think about my time with diabetes before 2012 as “my time in the wilderness.” I spent more time there than I really needed to. I did take respite almost every day in a bicycling habit. That proved beneficial to my health and was a net plus. It was a positive habit and not ruinous like consuming too much alcohol or street drugs.

Yet it was not enough to squarely address my diabetes. The missing ingredient, it turned out, was my way of eating. Once that piece dropped not place, all kind of good things blossomed for me in my diabetes management.

That’s an important truth. Other people provide a unique way to learn about yourself. I think good friends can help you to reframe troubling experiences and expose a path forward.

When you are emotionally healthy enough to return this favor to others, that reciprocation brings meaning to your life. Giving with no expectation of a return is an act of love. When love appears, all kind of healthy things are enabled.

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Hello Terry4,
I am pleased that you found satisfaction. I am too often perplexed by such readership.

Through our interaction(s) I hope to learn such contentment… and perhaps a better path.

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As always I seek to understand the mental aspects of our disease. Identifying, understanding, challenging the things which are never simple numbers on any electronic display.

Rumination lacks physical action(s), ok… So the endless recall of a baaad low, the fear of future lows are two different creatures then? Because a past (sic. diabetic) event had physical pieces, a time and a place therefore that is not rumination per se?

What any of us think about BECAUSE of a specific time or place event COULD be rumination, but the repeated recollection of an event itself is not, correct? Do I have that right?

The action, any tangible action(s) because of ones thoughts cancels the rumination label. If we act upon or because of such thoughts, they alter for good or ill. (Want to make sure I’m not missing something important).

Ok, REFRAME, that sounds interesting…

Take the baaaaaaaaad event(s), dissect the *#(@&&#@(& out of them, and do something, anything WITH that information, so that it/they are not solely a "Ghost(s) of Diabetes Past", but something you can in theory do something with, or about?

Not simply whispers from some Diabetic Exorcist Movie :woozy_face: ??? But a time, a place which can stop taunting, whispering being unpleasant because we explore them?

Hummmmmmngh…

Rumination would simply be the endless unwelcome certainty that LOWS are guaranteed?

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Hello MBW,
I am not sure I have had the pleasure before? Thank you for taking part.

Re; journaling never done so to my knowledge. A particular flavor of journaling technique(s) apply to Diabetes problems/issues in particular?

A particular meditation technique/approach?

There are lots of tools, hope to borrow the ones that has been used before, effectively.

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I think of rumination as pointless revisiting of that which we cannot control. “I’m so mad that my idealized life of care free existence was stolen from me by diabetes and I will not let go of that anger”.
So meditation can be a way to induce oneself to change the focus. That is most easily accomplished by a non-judgemental approach to, for example, the day you just experienced. Or meditation can be an intentional focus on one’s own physical body; to feel & to experience from tips of toes to top of scalp while lying quietly.
Journaling can be a way to take that which is really bothering me and put it to paper. Two benefits, at least, accrue immediately. First, because it’s written down I don’t have to keep worrying about solving it now or that I’ll forget. “I can worry about that tomorrow”. That can allow sleep for example if it’s the 3 am ruminations. Second, objectivity can arise read it as if someone else had written. Solutions to other peoples problems are always easier than to our own!

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I don’t understand your question here. I feel that continual thinking about any topic without ever moving forward toward resolution with action defines rumination in my mind.

I don’t think that any single action cancels the act of ruminating like throwing a switch. Taking effective meaningful action to address important emotional concerns will, from my perspective, eventually extinguishes the need to think unproductively.

I am not an expert, simply someone who has lived for many decades and learned from some painful trial and error about the many unhealthy ways one can sabotage emotional happiness.