I have recently been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes in March and it has been one of the hardest things I have had to endure in my whole life.
Work is harder, relationships are harder and everything just seems to be going down hill. I feel like I can’t find the balance between trying to eat the right things, exercise and work. I work at a very stressful job and some days I feel like I can’t make it through. I don’t know if the diabetes has something to do with it or I am just being emotional.
Ever since I have been diagnosed I have been dealing with a lot of emotions. I find it hard not to break down and cry and I feel very weak. Some days I don’t even want to get out of bed, other days I have a head ache that lasts about 5 days straight, some days I can’t even see. Because of the high level of stress in my work environment I find it hard to keep my sugar levels stable and quick frankly I find it hard to keep it together at all.
I need advice on what to do. How to manage my life… how to figure it all out or take steps to figure it out. I feel like no one understands me and I am a person that is constantly complaining about every element of my life and my health.
Help me by sharing your experiences…
Hard question. We all have very different experiences. Some of us were diagnosed very young (I want 9, but others were earlier); some are late T1s in their 50s. But we have all had experiences like yours.
Find someone to talk to–a good doc, a good CDE, a support group. There are even psychologists out there who help people with chronic illness. Find someone to help, assist, support. Crying is not a baby thing. It can be very very real for adults,
Stress will really make BG stability hard (my BG can go up 50-80 points just driving to work!) Eventually you will learn to live with all the ups and downs, but it takes time. Nearly 50 years for me!
Lots of us will give additional advice, but mine is to slow down and breathe deeply. Life has not ended. You will learn to adjust.
Read a lot of the enties here. You will see good ideas and advice. You will see triumphs and defaeats. It is all part of diabetes.
Good luck and stay on the board, Pinky. It will really help!
Hello Pinky,
I agree with the other posts. Were you able to take some time off from work, to get used to the new demands of living day to day with T1? After I was diagnosed I was a basket case, my doctor called me (after me leaving many messages of how I was overwhelmed by it all) and told me to go outside and take a walk. Test my blood sugar when I got back and call him again. My BG was about the same…he was making a point that I could still do the same things I did before, I just need to test my bg now, and give a shot when I eat. Two extra steps at each meal…“okay,” I said, I got his point. Breakdown your day, make short lists, and throw them away when you’re done.
I also remember being tired of eating, just didn’t want to eat because I HAD to! I wanted to be able to sit with friends and my husband and enjoy a meal…That eventually happens, give yourself time to grieve for this disease you have. Do find someone to talk to. Do you use Twitter? Include #DOC in your tweets and you will be amazed at the responses you get! Go to www.textingmypancreas.com and look for the You Can Do This project. Some awesome people out there that are in your shoes, that have survived the upsetting first year of T1, T2, and others… Reach out! We are here to help!
Hi Pinky – I was in your boat a couple years ago when I was first diagnosed with T2 and then rediagnosed this past summer to LADA…
I used to work in the hospitality industry, and kid you not, could pull more than 60 hours per week (and that’s because I’m pulling a 12 hour shift, or working 16… depends on what the hotel’s demands are for that day). Honestly, I am not sure what I did to pull through the week, er… each day, I suppose. I was able to control my D, but only for a good 3 months, then I lost all control – I was stressed out from work, even personal life was pushing other stressors. When finally I had to make a decision… it was my job or health.
HOWEVER, before you come to that point, there are other ways of relaxation that you should try… breathing exercises has helped me in the past – when I’m at a point where I just want to explode, I have to take myself out of the equation and count up to 30, I do slow long inhalations and then slowly exhale… by the time I hit 30, I’ve calmed myself down.
Taking an hour lunch (that is if your job will allow you to) also helps – it’s a change of scenery, and usually getting some fresh air and away from the office helps you re-energize before you finish off your day.
When I was in my office, I would put some music in the background – it actually helped me focus a little better, plus it made my job a little easier by making the day go by faster.
And, yes, DEFINITELY get some support – TuD is a great website, and everyone on the site is awesome – always giving you encouragement – this is why I love this site so much! Family also plays a big role in your support system – my parents and husband are the 3 people that continue to cheer me on towards a better, healthy me, even when I am down.
Also, your diabetes care team are great support members – I love, love, love my diabetes learning center – they provide quick information, encouragement, and thoughtful insights. My new endocrinologist is also another important person I heavily rely on when it comes to gaining support. She makes sure that I am kept on track when it comes to my care – she even calls me from time to time, just to check up on me.
I also use Omnipod’s people as part of my support team (and mind you, I haven’t gotten my pump yet… still waiting for it to come in).
Oh, and I almost forgot – take a long break once in a while… go on a mini vacation over the weekend, or do a city tour… or actually take a week long vacation if you can --> anything that will keep your mind off work while it’s your personal time will do!
Whichever you choose to do, I certainly wish you the best of luck! Keep us posted =) and remember, we’re all here for you and each other ;o)
Oh… and PS – part of the reason that “I lost control” over D was because I was miss diagnosed … hence, the LADA…
Hi Pinky: I was diagnosed 16+ years ago with Type 1 diabetes. I was devastated by the diagnosis and thought my life was ruined. The first 10 months were pure hell and were certainly the most difficult time, in my experience. I had a high stress job and I was in a relationship that was not supportive. In due time, I changed the job and dumped the bad relationship.
A diagnosis of Type 1 diabetes is HUGE and it takes a long time to grieve. You are grieving. Your life is radically altered, and that’s not going to change. I was fortunate to find a therapist who has Type 1 diabetes–have you looked for such a person to talk things over with? A great resource for the emotional aspect of diabetes (which is the most difficult, I think) is the Behavioral Diabetes Institute. And here’s another radical one–I did in fact change jobs to have a lower stress situation. I just think that diabetes takes an enormous amount of time–for me, exercise, yoga, mediation, cooking healthful meals, etc. So maybe not right now, don’t do anything in haste, but maybe consider a less stressful job situation?
I would say that what you are going through is completely normal and natural. Not easy, mind you, but normal and to be expected. Treat yourself with compassion–you are completely worth it. And finally, I can tell you that you can dance with diabetes. I still have bouts where I say “I hate this f***ing disease,” but I also have a really good life and know that it can be done. TuDiabetes is a great place to get support in the journey.
I think for many of us, being diagnosed with diabetes is a life altering event. It is not like going to a doctor and being told you have strep throat. I think what I went through was a bit like “death.” I had to accept that the previous me had in fact died and I had to leave that behind. Life would never be the same. I think my emotions went through the five stages of grief outlined by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her book On Death and Dying; D’Nial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. I felt all those things and it was only over time (months to years) that I actually got to the point of acceptance.
Your feelings are real. You should not feel weak because of them. You are going through a process. You may not feel that you are getting anywhere, but you are. Some people may find it helps to journal about their feelings. But you need to cut yourself a break. This is not about a weakness or failing. This is about your forced growth as a person. It is ok to feel this way and it is ok to reach out for help dealing with this.
Hi Pinky, I think a lot of us have been thru what you are going thru. I like BSC’s death analysis. I spent a lot of time crying, scared about what the future would hold and wanting my old life back. Even though the old you is in a sense dead, think of it like a Phoenix and rising from the ashes. You will come back as a new and improved you! I was diagnosed in Jan 1984. Like Melitta did, in August of that year, I changed jobs – for me, it was a way to put the old me behind and start fresh. I also started running and fell in love with running. It takes time, but you will get there. I second Htzam’s suggestion to look at the You Can Do It videos. Kim moved them to their own site at http://youcandothisproject.com/
Thanks so much for taking the time to reply to me. It makes me feel really great to have this online support to help during this very rough patch.
So appreciated!
Thanks so much Aimee.
I haven’t really had a chance to know if I liked the job before the diabetes because I started it in the thick of everything which makes it so much harder to assess.
My job is very different from a lot of others where I don’t have a lot of time and my working hours are all over the map. I have tried to dedicate at least one night a week to get back to my yoga because I know how much exercise can be beneficial.
Thanks again for your support
It is so funny because the whole like about “I also remember being tired of eating, just didn’t want to eat because I HAD to” - This is so me! I feel like I have gained so much weight because I have not figured out a balance between eating and exercising and I feel like I am always hungry… (probably do to low blood sugars)
Thanks for the advice about Twitter… I don’t typically use this type of social media but I will take your advice and give it a try.
Thanks so much for your help
Did you get John Walsh’s Using Insulin book? It will help you learn how to balance the insulin.
Diabetes Social Media Advocacy has a Twitter chat every Wed night. Here is the link to their site with the topics. It is too fast for me, but maybe it will help you. I read after-the-fact!
Wow, it seems like you worked the same crazy hours I am pulling right now and sometimes I don’t know how I make it through every day and I do admit that it is not without a struggle.
Thanks for all your ideas on calming exercises, I really appreciate it.
Thanks so much.
I am not sure right now but I think in the near future a less stressful job is the right way to go because being diabetic takes A LOT of time and planning.
Appreciate the support 
It’s hard for me to offer a perspective of D being a change because, for me, it’s been there pretty much my whole life. BUT, T1D is hard, whether you’re diagnosed at 3 or 30. It has a HUGE impact on every aspect of your life and the decisions you make.
First, keep in mind that your emotional roller coaster may have more to do with the glucocoaster you’re probably riding. High and low blood sugars have a HUGE impact on emotions. When I’m low, I can break down into tears for no apparent reason at all. It sucks, although I usually feel better when I test and see that I’m low and know that’s the reason I’m crying.
I don’t know what you do for a living and whether this is possible, but you may want to consider taking a leave of absence. T1D is a HUGE life adjustment and taking some time off may help you learn how to manage it. I’ve learned how to manage D in stressful situations, but it takes practice and patience. It’s not something you will learn overnight. Having a pump makes this management easier, so if that’s an option, please consider it.
While I don’t think you should contemplate a career change just yet, definitely think about how (even temporarily) you could change your job such that you’re under less stress. Stress has a hugely negative effect on BGs (generally makes them go higher) and some folks are more sensitive to those stress hormones than other. While a job is important, your health is more important.
I think you need to give yourself permission to be sad over this huge change in your life, to mourn the loss of your pancreas, and to learn how to find happiness in your new normal. T1D sucks, but I have plenty of happiness in my life, despite it and even because of it! And, oddly enough, D has made me a smarter, more successful person. I am so much more organized, proactive, and productive at work, characteristics that have consistently resulted in really high performance ratings. I don’t think I’d have these characteristics if it wasn’t for T1D - the management that goes into this disease is intense, and once you master it, everything else looks like a cakewalk.
Pinky,
I was also diagnosed in March with T1 (at 50!)…so it was quite a shock to me. I thought my life would have to change drastically and I thought that I would not be able to do some of the things I enjoyed doing, like flying airplanes.
The problem was made worse as I had several scares in the process of diagnosis. Since new, sudden onset is not that common in people my age and older, there was some concern it could have been caused by pancreatic cancer, which would have been quite serious. A CAT scan that showed extra tissue near my pancreas added to that fear. Fortunately, it jsut turned out to be normal anatomic variation… however a kidney tumor was found on the CAT scan. Yet another scare.
I had that out and it was benign.
So I am left with “just” T1D. I was both ICA antibody postive and GAD antibody positive as well as spilling ketones at diagnosis, so the explanation is pretty clearly autoimmune (T1) diabetes.
Since then I have learned how to control it rather than it control me…I agree with other posters that books like “Think like a Pancreas” and “Using Insulin” are very helpful in taking control.
In terms of getting back to my life, I have slowly been doing all the things I did before, step by step.
First I went out to dinner and a play in NYC. It worked out fine…just tested and dosed at the table and checked
my BG at intermission.
My first business trip with diabetes was a little scary - didn’t know what would happen at security with pens and needles, how to eat in restaurants, the effect of running throguh the airport, etc. It all worked out fine.
In AUgust we went overseas on a cruise and I was able to both travel internationally, eat pretty much what I wanted on the cruise ( of course avoiding crazy carb things), take day long tours, deal with time zone differences etc.
My point in telling you all these things is to let you know you don’t need to let diabetes limit you. You will get back to your regular life and the management of it will become 2nd nature to you and take less time. Is it a pain ?, yes , but the important thing is it need not limit you.
I even learned I will be able to pilot planes again - there are several pilots who are patients at the diabetes center I am being treated at - it will take some paperwork and demonstration of good control, but it is possible.
Take heart…it will get easier with time… and taking control will make you feel better both physically and emotionally
One of the biggest stresses for anyone D or not is the unknown. You just started a new job, There are things you need to learn to do that job well. It takes time to go through all the different situations that normally come up. To learn all the protocols. To develop all the needed resources. I have found that it takes about a year to go through this process. As you learn these lessons and accomplish these tasks you grow more confident and comfortable with what you are doing. The stress becomes much less.And, any job will have stress from time to time, some more than others, but the worst is the unknown.
You were recently diagnosed T1. HUGE STRESS. But as with anything else it is the unknown that is so stressful. Think back to when you were first told. I bet that a lot of things that were so very stressful then have become not so bad now that you have learned some of what it takes to deal with D. A new job AND a diagnosis of T1 at the same time? Now that is some real stress.
You have gotten some excellent advice in this post. Just keep learning. It does get easier. Keep building you knowledge and support. Add your determination to those two things and the power is yours.
You are very welcome. It is not an easy thing and only another D (even those who love you dearly) cannot fully understand.
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. And yes, I know it is hard - hard as heck sometimes. Make that “sometimes” “almost all the time” in the beginning. The only thing I can offer is that yes, there are many people in the same condition and going through the same feelings. Sometimes the hardest thing is being surrounded by people but feeling that you are alone - hopefully here at TuDiabetes, you will get some encouragement and see how many others like you there are.
Keep fighting.
Hi Pinky,
I totally understand how you feel, as I’ve had a healthy life for 33 years and only got diagnosed in July. Wow, type 1 is SOOO much work!
I also struggle with the emotional aspect. Every time I watch a diabetes video, I cry :). There are some good encouraging ones out there. I like “One happy diabetic” and the “you can do this project”. Just google them. I’m also seeing a therapist who has had type 1 for 15 years and was in her 30s when she was diagnosed. It is AWESOME! She is like my diabetes big sister Check with your insurance to see about someone who has experience counseling people with chronic conditions like diabetes. Ask your nurse educator or dietician who they could recommend; that is how I found Evelyn .
Read, watch videos and talk to people. It will make you feel like you are in control. And exercise (safely!)! It will release the endorphins your body needs so much right now, and it will help in your management.
Lots of hugs from Oregon