Sorry - seem to rant alot - but my family should know better


#1

I was round my nan and grandads today, with my mum. We had dinner, and my Grandad was asking how many carbs were in the foodon my plate. My stepdad then offered me more potatoes, and my mum said “No she can’t have any more - she has already had 50 grams”. The point of carb counting is to work out how much insulin I need - not to restrict what I eat.

Then she really annoyed me. At my nans, we have to stay seated until everyone has finished. But I got up , to get my insulin. Nan asked where I was going and I told her. As I left the room, she said “It wont kill her to wait a couple of minutes”, to which my mum replied “Just let her haveher moment”. HAVE MY MOMENT. So suddenly, me looking after myself is me HAVING MY MOMENT.

I am so sick of it all. I am sick of being told I go low too often at work, I am sick of the fact I can’t drive because I have Hypoglycemia Unawareness. I am sick of the fact that I have to stick a needle in me, and people get grossed out and tell me to do it in the toilet. I am sick of having to ask how many carbs are in the hotchocolate, or chips, or whatever I am eatng, and my friends get embarassed and the staff think I am weird.

I am sick of going low when intimate with my other half. I am sick of going low with stress. I am sick of worrying so much about going low, that I end up eating too much or not giving enough insulin, and end up going high.

I am just so sick of it all. I don’t want to be diabetic. But then I feel bad, because my illness is at least treatable. But i am just so sick of it all. I feel I will never reach the good mark for my HbA1c. I am worried about my future, and my health. I am worrid about getting pregnant, but I want to settle down to having children in a couple of years.

I am sick of ignorant people. Why do they think they have the right to try and ‘help’ us, just becase we are diabetic. They think they know best, and we know nothing. I was actually told by a manager that I don’t look after my sugars because I go low a lot, and that if I continue to go low, I wont be able to work there any more. I am tryng so hard. I have only been diabetic for 4 years, and have only just found out about carb counting. I still don’t even know I am taking the right amount of night time insulin.

AGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Sorry. Just having a bad day.


#2

Hi Rebekah
Sorry to hear you are havng a bad day. I have only been diabetic for a month and a half so i probably don’t have much i can tell you but your story did touch me. I do understand about how no one really understands. I am a type 1 and my family only has type 2 in the history. Even my sister who is type 2 doesn’t understand what i am talking about and i have found there is just no sence in trying to make them understandShe just gets upset with me because i can eat things she can’t or isn’t supposed to, only when i am having a low, which since she is consistantly high she doesn’t understand at all. They have taought me carb counting but at the same time they would like to see me drop 20 pounds and i keep thinking to myself how can i drop 20 pounds when u have me eating more now than i ever did before my diagnoses. It is very hard sometimes to deal with the desease and with all the crap that peole throw at you at the same time. Hang in there and don’t worry about venting, we all need too at times and i will always listen,
Take care
Karen in Portland ny


#3

Hey.

I rememer being newly diagnosed. I was in a daze for months, so it didn’t bother me too much then.

No one in my family have any type of diabetes, so it was completely new.

I feel better today.

If you need to vent anyime, you can contact me. :slight_smile:


#4

Maybe that is me…still in a daze! It is jsut sometimes dealing with it and then financial, emotional and the physical can be exhausting! Then if i say i had a low my friends all yell at me that i am not eating enough. Like i should be eating all the time. I just don’t say anything any more! and that in only 6 weeks! this site really helps me find answers that i can’t find elsewhere. and the people are awesome when you ask a question they really try to help even if it is just encouragement. Thanks for the venting place…lol. dame goes.]
Karen


#5

I totally understand the “eating more than you ever have before” thing! I felt the same way when I was diagnosed. It only got better when I realized that I shouldn’t have to eat to prevent lows, I should just lower my insulin. Carb counting helped a lot with that, but I still hate having to carry candy with me everywhere I go in case of a low.

Also, having a type 1 in the family isn’t much of a help. My dad (also type 1) and I see things very differently when it comes to diabetes. :slight_smile:


#6

I think everyone has bad days that have diabetes. Venting is the best way to get it out. I know there are days where I am pissed off at Eli Lilly because they developed and marketed a medication that they knew caused diabetes and didn’t put a warning label on it until the FDA told them they had to. And of course I get put on that medication and within 3 months I have diabetes. Right now I am type 2, but my doctor has said that my c-peptide is borderline and he thinks before the end of this year I will be type 1. I am just tired of medical field, being sick, diabetes, fighting to try to get an insulin pump etc.


#7

Rebekah, sorry you’re having a bad day. It sounds like everyone is managing your Diabetes but you. Don’t apology for not knowing about carb counting. I’ve had D for about 50 years and didn’t know about carb counting and other management skills because they weren’t known when I was dxed. But when I found out about 10 years ago there’s been no stopping me. If you want to know how to manage better arm yourself with information that is available.

Like you I had hypo unawareness about 10 years ago. I mentioned it to my Endo and he referred me to a CDE (Certified Diabetes Educatior) who taught me how to have tighter control. Even though I don’t have a support group in my area for T1s I have plenty of friends online and we help by sharing information. There are websites that can give you information to help you in your daily management. I know from experience that if you want something you have to go after it. You can have better management by learning carb counting. Also using the Glycemic Index has helped me also (Glycemic Index is a list of foods and how fast they turn to sugar). So go for the gold and get out there and take control of your Diabetes.


#8

Betty thanks for the info on the gi. i didn’t know there was something on the net about this and that we could find out how foods break down. i think this will help alot towards the whole carb thing and understanding how they work. thanks again i intend to check it out.
Karen K


#9

Thank you everyone for all your support and advice.


#10

Don’t ever apologise for venting here…it could be any one of us at any time.


#11

Hey Rebekah,
Just wanted to say that I bet most of the people here have felt that way one time or another. I know I have. I haven’t even been D a whole year, and I got so fed up, I stopped taking my insulin for a weekend, hid under the covers, and wound up in DKA. NOTE: DO NOT DO THIS! Coping is not always easy, and everyone deserves a chance to vent. It helps. Diabetes sucks, and while it’s not good to dwell on it, I think it’s perfectly healthy to get all your frustrations out. I hope you have a better day tomorrow.


#12

Family. I tell people I’m an orphan.:smiley: Honestly, family can get under our skins sometimes.I had an argument with my younger brother one time and he blurted out that I was such a B. My mother intervened and said she’s like that because she’s diabetic. WOW, did that send me over the edge.

My brother continued by saying his friend has diabetes and is the nicest guy in the world, nothing like me.

My response: We had an argument, I responded to your idiotic ramblings and I’m a B? Not for nothing you and your friends do drugs. I don’t. We therefore have little in common. As for your friend being a nice guy, has he been straight enough to realize he has diabetes? Quite frankly, I’m surprised you noticed.

And to Mom: Gee thanks mom for agreeing that I am a B and it’s because of my diabetes. Maybe, I inherited this all from you?

And so I remember and cling to the dream of being an orphan…


#13

That is so funny!! i have referred to myself as an orphan for years. My older sister started whispering things in my dad’s ear about me and he bought it all. So I haven’t talked to her or him in a few years now. When she found out I had diabetes she told my parents that is was from all my “drinking” I never laughed so hard in my life. I "may!’ have had a drink every 6 months and that is pushing it. She is 16 years older than me so i told my mom she had drank more in her life than i have in mine. Unfortuantely I had all my doctors ask that too when i went into the hospital with dka, when i was first dxd because it is so unusual for 47 year old to have type 1. Thankfully my eye doctor checked me out today and says there is no damage yet and that he didn’t thinki had those highs very long, so i wasn’t full blown diabetic very long.
But it was so funny to hear someone else say they were an orphan too!!! sometimes it is easier than dealing with family!
I think that is the one thing that has really bugged me all thru this. That everyone assumed i drank! Why can’t they ask if i do before they ask “how much?” Sorry, just my little rant! I am done for now…lol.


#14

I have done that before - the not taking insulin thing. When my parents split up, and I was diagnosed, theywere both in the hospital and they were talking. It looked like they mightget back together. So when the devorce still continued and things got nasty, I didn’t take my insulin. I don’t really know why. I think I was sabatarging myself because it meant my parents would talk again.

Didn’t work though - they never got back together. :frowning:


#15

I hope each day that I am adopted, or the hospital gave my parents the wrong baby.

My mum can become a B. when she drinks, so I am T-Total.

My dad recieved a lot of money from the house sale when they split up, but spent it all on himself and on his step children. Nothing on me - even though he promised he would get me a computer for Universty and buy me some new clothes. I work practically full time, while studying a degree just to afford it all.

Infact, I moved in with my boyfriend because my dad and step mum charged too much rent.

I had better be careful what I say, in case they come on here. But I wish I coul let go of that side of he family. But I love my dadso much. No matter how he treat me, I still miss the way he was when I was growing up.

My mum is okay - like I said, it is when she drinks. I really don’t know whith her - sometimes she is a B. and ignores me or makes fun of me or has a go fr no reasons, then other times she is the most loving, caring mother in the world. An example, I rang her up after I went so low atwork I passed out because they didn’t let me go on a break. She said it was my fault because I always make a fuss about my diabetes as I go low all hte time. I pointed out that I didn’t have any trouble in the supermarket where they gave me breaks.

Back to my dads side, they arranged a birthday celebration for me a couple of years ago, and didn’t by any diet drink. This christmas they ddn’t by any either. My step sister said that it is because diet drinks give her husband headaches and he gets confused as to which one is diet. I pointed out that non diet would kill me, therefore if he was stupid enough not to read the label, then he desrved a headache.

I heard a slogan for a TV programme. You can’t choose your family, but you can disown them.


#16

I understand the family part. the sister that lives here by me is upset because i got sick and was actually “sicker” than her. She is no longer the center of attention. I don’t want the attention, she can have, cus someone is always telling me i am doing something wrong. My parents are still together but everytime I talk to my mom all I hear about is how my father cheated on her all their married life. It is always how my sister needs hlep with something and i should help her.My sister or her daughter usually does the holidays so i have learned that I either have to bring my own drink or just not go. This year I didnt go to thanksgiving, I went to a friends instead. It was alot more fun than if I had gone to the family.
I am sorry to hear they treat you so badly, I know it doesn’t help when u love them which i love my family, I just found it works better if i see or talk to them in very small doses. They don’t understand me and I have figured out they don’t want to, it is all about them. I can’t change it so why fight it.
As it was your birthday you would think they would have made sure it was more tuned into you, but obviously it is all abou them too.
At least you have your boyfriend and the family you have made here, and we will always be here to let you vent it all.
I will listen and be here for you.
Karen


#17

This site is the best thing that has happen with my diabetes. I am also doing a course called SAILING (Self Adjusted Insulin Learning IN Groups) and I have learnt a lot in that too. The man thing I have leant from bot is that none of us are perfect, and we all mess up. I am still learning, so if I do mess up and end up high or low, it isn’t the end of the world, and it isn’t nessasserily my fault.

Families are so annoying. I have always wished for a ‘normal’ family. But I don’t think I would appreciate my guy so much otherwise.


#18

The question is - what is normal???


#19

Our fantasy families. :slight_smile:


#20

In my case I would just settle for a family who shows affection and love.