Spouse of a newly type 2


I my partner just got told that he is type 2 a little over a week ago and our hole world has been turned upside down. I am his nurse and everything as he is to afaird a needles to do any of the testing his self. Also I have been doing all the cooking and anything else for him. And trying to take care of the house work a full time job oh and we also have a 6 year old son that I also have to take care of. I think what I really want here is that is there anyone out there that might be in my boat or even in the same lake as me. I am trying to hold it tegether for him and be everything that everyone needs. But I have so much on my plate that I find myself not eating any more and I have really forgoten what sleep is. It seems like all I do is think about what his last number was. Which thanx to me has gone down alot a week and a half ago he was in the 500s and now he is staying at 80 to 144.

Ok now enough about me I did really have so queastions but thank you for letting me vent. He has glasses and the lower his sugar gets he glasses are blurry we just went and got a new pair and they are blurry now to I think is because when he had his eyes tested he was in the 160 to 180 now that he is staying below the 150s he eyes are better. Has anyone else had this issue when you first started getting your type 2 under control?

Ok second queastion and I’m done for now he won’t tell anyone that he has this issue and won’t let me tell anyone which is why I’m talking to you guys. How might I get him to see that this is not the end of the world and something to hide. “It’s not a sware word” I think if he can just take this as fact he would be able to deal a little better. Any thoughts?

That’s all for now any thing that anyone could add would be really great I just feel a little bit like I’m drounding.

Thank you

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First thing you need to know is that it does get better. A lot better. In the beginning, a diagnosis like this can seem like the end of the world. It isn’t. The medications and tools available for managing diabetes today are light years ahead of where they were just a few years ago. It’s possible to control this beast very effectively if you’re committed to doing it. There are many of us here who were in your situation. We’re all still here. :smiley:

TuDiabetes was founded on one basic principle: that no diabetic should ever have to feel alone. This community is a bottomless well of shared experience and support. Whatever issue you’re dealing with at any given moment, there are folks here who have been there already and are happy to share how they handled it.

The other key thing about our community is that here, you can communicate with people who know what it is you’re talking about. Sometimes what you need most is just to vent to someone who gets it. We’re here for each other.

About the vision thing, yes, it is very possible, even likely, that his vision will stabilize once his blood sugar does. In fact, that’s how I was originally diagnosed–my vision started going to hell in a handbasket for no visible or apparent reason. Turned out it was because my blood sugar was through the roof. Once it was back where it belonged, my vision returned to normal in fairly short order.

I’m sure others will have a lot to say so I’ll cut this off now.

Welcome to the family! :slight_smile:


Thank you very much do you think that he may not need glasses oneday?

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Hard to make a prediction about that. It depends on a lot of factors. If he needed them before he became diabetic, he most likely still will. But once his blood sugar is normalized, the vision prescription ought to be the same, or close, to what it was before all this started.

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Hi, sorry you both are having to go through all of that, but it will get better. Congratulations on his numbers dropping so much so quickly, that is fantastic and is not the normal way it happens for most people with this. It usually takes quite a while to see numbers as low as that.

I suspect his eyesight will go through quite a bit of changes before it settles down, and quite possibly, will change throughout time if his levels are not very well controlled. My husband, who has Type 2, can often tell how is levels are running by his eyesight. Any time he is running higher or lower than he normally does, his eyesight changes.

One thing I would recommend doing is calling the place you got the glasses at and see if they have a do-over policy. If not, explain the situation, that his prescription may be wrong due to newly diagnosed diabetes and see if they will do a one time do over on the glasses any way. Many places offer a one-time do over for any reason and other times it is possible to have the glasses redone once with a new prescription at no cost if there is a good reason for it and you let them know soon after getting the glasses. If they won’t work with you on it, call your insurance company and see if they can help.

Just before I was diagnosed with Type 1, my eyesight got really bad, really fast. I went to the eye doctor and he did not catch that it was due to diabetes, even though he really should have, and gave me a script for glasses that it turns out I really didn’t need, as once I was diagnosed and my levels were under control, my eyesight went back to normal. It took a lil while, and my eyesight changed up and down and sideways for about a month or so, but it finally smoothed out.

Unfortunately for me, I got the glasses right away after my exam (two weeks before I was diagnosed) and got them as bi-focals, hated them being that and used my one time do over to go to single strength lenses about three days before I was diagnosed and knew what was going on. Had I waited, I would have been able to get a prescription in them that would have worked better for me now. I have hardly ever worn the glasses I spent 500 dollars on as they really don’t do me much good. O well, I would rather have my eyesight be good enough to not need them than need them.

Anywho, check into this and see if you can get the glasses redone if needed when his vision settles down, cause it really will, but give it some time to level out. Even though you need to give it some time to settle down, call the place you got the glasses at right away

Also, give yourself a break, get some sleep, eat a good meal and stop stressing so much. Eat well every day and sleep well every night. You have to take care of yourself or you won’t be able to take care of anyone or anything else.

You have done a great job with this but it is your husband who needs to take care of this. HE is the one with Type 2 and HE has to be the one to take charge of this and do his own testing and take care of himself. He is not a child who is helpless, and he will benefit from taking care of his own diabetes himself. He needs to be able to test when you are not there or are busy, and all other times.

You have a child to take care of and a job, and he isn’t either one of those things, and you also have to take care of you. Even if you didn’t have those other things in your life, he should still be doing this stuff. Let him be an adult and take care of his own diabetes. You can be there for support and help him when it is really needed, but taking care of his routine daily stuff like testing is not a job that should fall to you. Even kids can do this stuff, testing is just routine stuff that everyone who has to do it should be doing for themselves as soon as they are old enough and if he is old enough to have a kid, he is old enough to test his own blood sugar.

Also, let him figure out the carb counting thing, reading labels and figuring out how many carbs he should be eating. He has to be able to do that and control his own eating habits too. Again, you can help him, but he needs to be able to do these things.

I really do commend you for all you have done and I hope that the above doesn’t sound harsh, I do not intend it to be, I really am just trying to help. I think he will be happy he is taking care of these things himself once he is actually taking control of it himself.

Btw, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes a lil over two years ago and while my husband did do my first shot for me, as I was too upset an hour after diagnosis to do it, I have done every shot and every test since then myself. I take at least 5 shots a day and test an average of 8 times a day. These are things people should not rely on someone else to do for them and they are really not the huge deal some make them out to be before they are doing it. Once he starts doing it, it will be easier for him to do it himself than to have you do it for him.

Good luck

I bought some new glasses at Costco only to find a couple of weeks later after visiting my ophthalmologist that my eyesight had changed. My ophthalmologist suggested I go back and see if Costco would redo my prescription and they did, apparently it is often done in the industry.

And let me also say that being diagnosed with diabetes can be an emotionally traumatic event. Sometimes we even go through a process of grieving over our diagnosis. I like to say that it sometimes follows Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s five stages of grief: D’Nial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. The best thing you can do to help you husband is just be there, help him talk about this and his feelings and work through the process. Remind him that it will be ok, because it will be ok. In the end you cannot take care of him, he has to take care of himself. And helping him decide that he can take care of himself and that it will be ok is all that is needed.

Thank you so much and no you don’t sound harsh at all he has promised me that he will start testing him self this week he just is really afrid of needles but I will get him there. We are going to call the glasses place today. Thank you so much. Do you know if extrem poto sencativite can be caused by having diabeties becasue he has always been very sensative to light his eyes that is.

Hi PinkCoffee,

Sorry that you and your husband are dealing with this! Since the diagnosis is so new, it can be scary, stressful and exhausting for both of you! It will get better! It takes some time for both of you to adjust to this new situation and find a new balance. But you will!

One thing is to be sure that your blood glucose testing equipment is the most painless you can get. People here will make suggestions based on their own experience. I just use the Relion meter from Walmart (inexpensive), but there are several types of lancets that go with it and there is an ultra-thin “30 gauge for sensitive fingers” that is less painful than the lancets I had before.

There’s also something called Buzzy (www.buzzyhelps.com). I saw it on Shark Tank. (And I’m apologizing that I don’t remember the guidelines on mentioning products–I hope mentioning both of these is okay). If I were newly diagnosed, I would learn more about this and might seriously consider getting one.

For now, I’m so glad that you found TuDiabetes! Welcome! People here understand and we really want to help!

Best wishes,


marty thank you I will look into the buzzy for him your a great help.

It’s better to be quick when jabbing oneself. Assemble whatever is needed within reach and be quick, matter of fact about it. Hurts less if not given the time to think about it. I find that helps.

SD :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: